


Picking Up The Pieces

by Croc9400



Series: Pieces [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is afraid of just about everything, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gilbert du motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan - Freeform, Homophobia, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Non-binary character, Past Abuse, Past Rape, Suicidal Thoughts, but then John shows up and its all better, google translate french, homophobes, non-binary Lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croc9400/pseuds/Croc9400
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex couldn’t describe how he felt to get out of that house, but he left as a different person than he came. He lost part of himself in that house. He had been truly broken in that house. Now it was up to the Washingtons, their adopted child Lafayette, and his new friends to put the broken pieces of Alexander Hamilton back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex arrives at the Washingtons. John's home life sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say, this story has probably been inspired by just about every other Hamilton High School AU out there with the foster Washingtons archetype. I’ve read so many over the past couple months and this idea has slowly but surely been coming together. There’s no direct connection to any one story, so know that if you wrote a Hamilton HS AU with this motif, you probably inspired this story :)  
> 

**Chapter 1**

Alexander Hamilton hated hospitals. 

This is where he had seemed to spend a majority of his time once he had come to America. Even though he had only been in American six months, he had been to a hospital twice, and spent at least a week each time. From what he learned from talking to other American teens, hospital visits were few and far between, and a big deal when they happened. 

He sighed. He knew Seabury, his case worker, would be here to collect him in the next few hours to drive him off to the next hellhole child protection services called a ‘suitable foster home’. But he knew what to expect now. He knew not to expect anything. He knew not to get attached to anything or anyone. He knew not to get used to any sort of kindness he might be shown. Because in the end, people are always there to use you. 

Alex didn’t have much. A few pairs of clothes to get him by, and his backpack. Oh his backpack. His backpack was his lifeline. Him and his backpack were one together. He wouldn’t be able to live without it. He had managed to get it on sale with the small amount of money child protection services had given him when he arrived in America. It was a rather small messenger bag containing a variety of different journals. That was where he recorded his story. It was the only thing he had ever asked for from his foster families. Before his mother died, she had saved up enough money to buy him a beautiful leather bound journal. He accepted the gift graciously after asking her why on earth she spent the money. 

He refused to write in the journal, choosing to write in the ones the school gave him so to preserve the very special leather one his mother had bought him. Then him and his mother got sick. She died right next to him. He still didn’t write in it. He just hugged it close to his chest in the months after she died. When he went to live with his cousin, he still refused to write in it. Then his cousin committed suicide. He still only held the journal tighter. Then the hurricane came. 

He had never held onto anything tighter in his life, but instead of holding onto it so he would make it through the day, he was holding on so he didn’t lose it. So he didn’t lose the last tie he had to his mother. Then the relief effort came. The American Red Cross and various other relief foundations from all over the world came to the island to give any help that he could. Alex didn’t remember much from that time. 

He only remembered being found sitting on the plot of land that was once his home. They had brought him to one of the relief stations where he sat with what they called a shock blanket wrapped around him. He didn’t know how long he sat there. Then there was a day, where some fancy looking guys in suits came into the tents, looking for orphaned children. He was among fourteen other children chosen, some as young as two, and others who were around his own age of sixteen. The children had been picked to go to America and be put in the American foster system. 

That was when Alex began to write in the journal that his more had given him. 

He began to tell his story. Everything from his father leaving before he was born, to the hurricane which had given him the opportunity to come live in America. He was overjoyed at the opportunity, so he was so very easily crushed by the reality. 

That is what brought him to now; sitting on a hospital bed, dressed in normal clothes waiting for Seabury to come pick him up. He was writing about his most recent stay in the hospital. How the nurses and doctors had prodded him with both needles and questions; wanting to know if it was really some kid who had given him such severe injuries. That, of course, was a lie. He knew what would happen to him if he told people what had actually happened. He was only trying to protect himself. Surely they would understand if they knew the circumstances he was living under. 

He heard the handle of his door turn and he slammed the book shut, quickly shoving it in his backpack, stolen pen inside. He looked up and saw Samuel Seabury standing in the doorway. When he had first arrived, he thought this man was the most awful man alive. Then he was put into the foster system. 

“Come on, runt” he said, “let’s go,”

Alex slung his bag over his shoulder and followed Seabury out the door. The two had to stop at the front desk so Seabury could sign his release papers. It still hurt Alex to walk. It was an improvement from a week ago. When Mr. Eaker had dropped him off at the hospital, he could barely walk. He was in so much pain that he ended up sitting outside the emergency room door, crying until someone was kind enough to stop and ask him what was wrong. 

He now walked past the very pillar he had leaned on that night. He looked at it for a moment, and saw himself there, before quickly whipping his head away and following Seabury to his car. It was late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set on the fall evening. He wrapped his thin coat around him, trying to ignore the biting cold that surrounded him. The two got in the car. Even though it had been a week, it still hurt Alex to sit down.

“Get comfortable kid. We’re in for a long ride,” Seabury said, buckling his seatbelt. 

“Where are we going?” Alex managed to croak out after the car had started and Seabury had begun driving. The man didn’t respond, he only reached over into the glove compartment. Alex didn’t realize it, but he had curled up and pushed himself as far from Seabury’s hand as he could. The man took a binder out of the glove compartment and handed it to Alex. He took it tentatively and looked inside. 

The binder was labeled A.Hamilton. He had never seen this before. When he first opened it, he flipped the divider and saw a profile of Mr. Lee. He quickly flipped to the next divider, but there he saw Mr. Eaker, who had been even worse. He flipped to the final divider, and there was a profile of a man he didn’t recognize. 

He quickly skimmed the paper, learning the man’s name was George Washington, and he lived in Virginia. So that’s where they were going. They were travelling all the way from New York City to Virginia. He swallowed. He was scared. His only hope was that maybe it would be warmer. 

Now his caseworker was going to be in another state. As much as he hated Seabury, the man was the one who pulled him out of those terrible situations. Now if, no, _when_ this next family, the Washingtons, went sour, Seabury would be hundreds of miles away. The man would not come get him unless forced. So if Alexander needed to get out, he would not be able to. He had been able to fight his way out of the Lees house, which was only twenty minutes from child protection services. Seabury had been reluctant to come get him then. Just now, Alex could tell he was not happy at all to have to drive forty-five minutes to a hospital to pick him up after being kicked out of the Eakers house for his “violent tendencies”. Whether Alexander liked it or not, he was going to be stuck in Virginia. 

His breathing quickened. He began counting. It was a trick his mother had taught him while she was still alive. He didn’t have panic attacks often while on the island, but after he left they became more frequent. He could not have a panic attack in Seabury’s car. If it did happen, Seabury would pay no mind, only thinking Alex was weaker than he originally thought. And if he did pay him any mind, it would probably get him a slap across the face. So he began counting _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

He read through the information he had on the new family. The man, George Washington, was a senator for Virginia. His wife, Martha, was a nurse at a local hospital. They also had custody of a boy who had been sent out of France to get away from the war. He must’ve been pretty important in France, because the boy had too many names for Alexander to count. He didn’t pay much attention in his European history class at his old school, but the one thing that he did remember was that important people in France had a lot of names. 

Alex sat back and stared at the window. The binder sat lightly on his lap as he looked out the window. This was going to be a long ride and he knew he wasn’t going to sleep. He sighed, settling in for the drive. 

***

His mother’s death was still fresh in his mind. 

John Laurens’ mother had died five months ago, and it still hurt him every time he walked by his father’s room, knowing that his mother was never going to come out. It hurt walking by the kitchen and knowing the woman cooking food for his family was not his mother, but it was in fact a cook Henry Laurens had hired to boost his ego; to remind him of just how rich he was. 

John had to be the strong one these past few months. His younger siblings were five or more years younger than him. His father had always been a cold man, but his mother had softened him. But she was gone now, and Henry Laurens was hard as a rock. He ran his house with an iron fist. 

Henry hit him for the first time two months ago. 

_John had come home from school a little later than usual. That wasn’t his fault, his newspaper meeting had ended later than planned. Henry was never really too upset about that unless he was late for dinner. But today, he was screaming at his younger sister Martha, who was only eleven. He hadn’t caught much of the conversation, but it sounded as if she was in a similar boat as he was. She was supposed to get right off the bus and come home, but she had stopped a friend’s house first. Martha was crying. John had decided to just lay low, and comfort Martha when it was all done. Then Henry raised his hand._

_John ran over and grabbed his hand before he could hit Martha. Henry’s full attention, and anger, were now fixated on him. John gently shoved Martha away, and she was quick to bolt up the stairs._

_Henry then began yelling at him for being late, and his hand had come down on John’s face. It wasn’t particularly painful, but John was just in shock. His father had_ never _hit him before. Henry grabbed him by the shoulder and roughly shoved him towards the stairs._

Henry didn’t hit him often, only when he stepped out of line. He had tried to hit Martha a few times, but John wouldn't let it happen. There were times he was hit and he had bruises that were very visible for the next week or so, but only if he wasn't wearing clothes. 

There was a knock at his bedroom door. He closed the sketchbook on his desk and tucked it in his desk drawer below a law book his father had told him to read. He unlocked the door and opened it. Martha was standing outside with their five month old sister Mary Eleanor in her arms. 

“I can’t stop her crying,” Martha said, her voice shaking, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Their father always yelled at them if the baby cried for too long. That was another reason he had hit John, “and dad’s in the living room. So I can’t get a bottle,”

“Okay. Give her to me,” John said, “and go downstairs and get a bottle,”

Martha nodding, handing the girl to John. John took her in his arms and began slowly bouncing her up and down. 

His father refused to take care of the child. Most of the time, he refused to even look at her. She was the reason his mother was dead. John wasn’t one to hold a grudge, definitely not against an infant, but his father sure was. A few days after his mother died, when it became apparent that Henry Laurens wanted nothing to do with the child, Martha and John had band together to take care of her. They put whatever they needed on the shopping list Henry sent with a maid to the store. The two took turns changing diapers. John cared for her after he came from school until after dinner, and Martha watched her until bedtime. A maid, Nina, was kind enough to feed and change the child while to two were at school. It was a broken system, but it was the best they had. 

Martha returned a few minutes later with a bottle in her hand. She handed it to him and he sat down on the bed. He held it up to Mary Eleanor’s mouth and she sucked on it greedily. John looked at Martha. 

“How was school?” he asked. 

“It was good,” she replied. 

“Get all your homework done?” 

“Yeah. So did Junior and James,” Martha replied. 

There was a time where Martha and John would call their younger brother Henry, but after their mother had died, and their father began ignoring them, it became Junior. No one had argued. The younger boys didn’t fully grasp what was going on, but they knew their father had changed so Henry Jr. had no trouble with just being called Junior. 

Both kids looked up as the door was opened and there stood Henry Laurens. Martha quickly took the bottle and the baby and ran from the room, ducking under Henry's arm. Henry let her go, not paying her any mind. Henry walked into the room and closed the door. He pulled out his desk chair, and sat down across from John. 

“I just discovered that George Washington is going to foster another child,” Henry said. It took true self control for John to not sigh and roll his eyes. His father and George Washington were political rivals. Well, in Henry’s eyes they were. John was friends with their adopted child Lafayette, and the Washingtons liked him. They were kind, good people. They were in different parties, so the two men didn’t clash very often. But now Henry was thinking of running for president, and there was rumor that Washington may run as well. 

John sat in silence. Waiting for his father to speak. He could tell his father was waiting for some kind of reaction; any kind of reaction. But John did not react. 

“Some poor Caribbean boy that was pulled from St. Croix after the hurricane earlier this year,” Henry continued, “I want you to become friends with this boy,”

John nodded. He didn’t mind too much. If the boy was going to live with the Washingtons, he would probably end up hanging out with him anyway. The only thing he didn’t like about it was that Henry was forcing him to, but he wasn’t going to oppose. 

“I talked to the people at school. He is in most of your classes, and you’re showing him around his first day,”

John nodded once again. Henry looked him in the eyes. John looked as sincere as he could. Then Henry stood. 

“Good talk, Jack,” he said, “the boy should be here by tomorrow,”

He left the room. Moments later, Martha reentered with Mary Eleanor quietly squirming in her arms. She was tugging at Martha’s shirt giggling. John smiled. 

“So what did dad want?” Martha asked, sitting down next to John once again. 

“He wants me to get caught up in his next political push,” John said, “the Washingtons are fostering another child. A boy who’s apparently my age. Dad wants me to make friends with him,”

“Maybe he’ll be cute. Maybe it’ll be worth it,” Martha smiled. John laughed a little. She was the only one besides his two friends who knew he was gay. During the first month after their mother died, his emotions were all over the place, and he had ended up crying in Martha’s arms confessing that he was gay, and crying because his mother died without knowing. Martha had grown up so fast in the last five months that sometimes he forgot that she was only eleven. 

“Maybe he will be,” John sighed, “can you imagine that? I come out to dad because I’m dating the boy I was actually supposed to befriend to further his political image,”

“It would probably make his image even better,” Martha said. 

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t be able to kick me out,” John said, “can you imagine how much damage that would do to his campaign. I almost want him to,”

“Jack…” Martha began

“I would never. I wouldn’t leave you guys. I’m not going to come out to him. Not anytime soon,” John said. Martha hugged him and John kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m going to go put her to bed,” Martha said, standing up, “goodnight, Jack,”

“Night, Martha,”

***

It was dark by the time they arrived in Virginia. Like Alex predicted, he didn’t sleep the entire car ride there. He watched as a house flew by, wondering which one he would be living in. They drove through neighborhood after neighborhood, showing no signs of slowing down. They began ascending a mountain, then they took an abrupt turn. They drove along that road until they came to a gated house. The property was huge. Alex couldn’t even see the house from where he was. 

He began to panic a little bit as they drove through the gates, which he assumed were left opened for him. He would be caged in. If he needed to run, he couldn’t. He would have to wait for the gate to open and that was enough time for whoever might be chasing him to catch him. 

The road led them over a hill, and the house came into view. It was a big house, bigger than any house he’d ever seen. The only part of this whole property that made him comfortable was that there had to be places in the house where he could hide. Big houses meant that there were probably useless rooms where no one would bother to look for him. As they pulled up the circular driveway, he saw three figures emerge from the house. He could tell that all three of them were bigger than him. His breathing began to speed up, so he counted, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

The car came to a stop and Seabury turned and looked at him. Alex met his gaze. 

“Look kid,” he said, “the Washingtons are good people. We went through a lot of trouble to get you here. Don’t fuck it up,”

“Yes, sir,” Alexander nodded. Seabury smiled and let him go. The man got out of the car and walked over to the people on the front steps. Alexander saw Seabury shake hands with the one he assumed was George Washington. He grabbed his bag and took a deep breath, ready to meet the new family he’d be staying with. He grabbed the handle of the car door and pulled it. 

Slowly, he stepped out of the car and closed the door quietly, trying not disturb the conversation. He failed. All four heads turned to him when the door closed. He just wanted to shrink into the shadows and crawl away. He didn’t like being put on the spot. He didn’t like anyone giving him their undivided attention. He only liked it when his mother did that. He just wanted everybody else to ignore him. 

The man he assumed to be Mr. Washington gestured for him to come over, “come here son,”

Alex was hesitant. He wasn’t the man’s son. He would never be the man’s son. The only person who could call him son was his mother, who was dead now. He felt a fire in his stomach that he hadn’t felt since before he came to America. He slowly moved towards the small family standing on the doorstep. As soon as he came into light, a tall boy, who he assumed was Lafayette came bounding towards him. He froze where he stood. 

“Good evening my new...how do you say, ‘brother from another mother’” the boy said. Alexander almost laughed. He heard a soft chuckle behind him and saw a woman, Mrs. Washington, walking up behind him. Lafayette then continued, “my name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, and I expect my full name to be used”

Alex’s eyes widened. He knew he was not going to remember it all. 

“I kid, “Lafayette said, “Lafayette or Laf is acceptable. However, I go by they/them pronouns. I really want to like you, but if you cannot use those pronouns, I will not,” 

Alex nodded. He was not going upset them. Then the Washingtons would send him away without giving him a chance. Laf was there first after all. They were already in the Washington’s favor. They would take Laf’s word over Alex’s in a heartbeat. That's how it always was. 

“Hello Alexander,” Mr. Washington said, “my name is George, and this is my wife Martha. You can call us that,” 

“Alex, sweetie, why don’t you come inside? We’ll get you all situated so you can sleep. You look tired. Gilbert get his bag from the car,”

“Um. This is all I have ma’am,” Alex said softly. 

“Oh, well, that’ll change soon enough. You and Gilbert can go shopping tomorrow. I’m sure they’d love you to meet their friends,” Martha said, leading Alex towards the house. He passed Seabury on the way who grabbed him by the chin. 

“Remember what I said,” he said. 

“Keep your hands off my boy,” it was George who spoke. Both Alex and Seabury looked in the man’s direction. Alex was frozen, but Seabury let him go. The man walked towards the car. Alex just stood and watch him go. Alex knew this was the last he’d see of that man. He wasn’t sad, but he was the only constant he had since he came to America. Regardless of how mean he was, Seabury wasn’t as bad as the others, and he knew he wasn’t as bad as this was going to be. He watched Seabury drive away before turning back towards the large house. 

Alex stepped into the foyer. If he thought the outside of the house was huge, the inside was larger than life in both the literal and figurative sense. To his right was a living room, and to his left a kitchen. There was a dining room straight ahead, and he couldn’t see much beyond that. 

“Do you want a tour first or do you just want to go to bed?” Martha asked. 

“I’ll have a tour, I guess,” he said softly. Martha nodded.

“Good. I just got home an hour ago, so I didn’t have time to finish up your room. I’ll do that now. Gilbert, give him a tour please,” Martha said. 

“Of course Martha,” Lafayette said.

“Here, Alex let me take your bag upstairs,” Martha said, reaching for his bag. Alex took a step back and put his hands on the strap of the bag. 

“I’ll hold on to it,” Alex said boldly. It was the most confidently he’d spoken in the past week. Martha nodded and walked into the living room. George smiled at the boys before following his wife. 

“So if you will follow me, I will show you the house,” Lafayette began walking through the kitchen, around the breakfast bar. Alex followed cautiously, afraid that if he was anything but, the house would break, “in here is the informal dining room. It is where we eat most often. We only eat in the main dining room when we have more than four guests, and through this dining room is our lounge area,” Laf led him into a room with a piano on one side and a large TV on the other, “my friends and I spend most of our time in here. Oh you’re going to love them, _nous avons besoin d' un peu de sang frais comme pas beaucoup de gens comme nous…_

“Not all of us speak French, Gilbert,” George called from the kitchen. Lafayette ran through the formal dining room and into the kitchen. Alex quickly followed. 

“I am sorry, Alex,” Lafayette said, “I did not mean to make you feel awkward,”

“ _Ça va. Je parle français_ ” Alex said. Both George and Lafayette looked at him, surprised. He again just wanted to shrink down into the shadows. 

“That’s incredible,” George said. Alex wanted to roll his eyes. The man clearly didn’t expect much from him, “do you speak any other languages?”

“Spanish,” Alex said, nervously grabbing his arm. 

“Well, come along, _Alexandre_ ” Lafayette called, “I shall show you the rest of the house,”

Lafayette led him through the rest of the house. There was a very large living room, with a tiny hallway leading off. There were four separate doors leading to different rooms. One led out back, the second to a bathroom, the third to the garage, and the fourth led to a storage room that was going to become a guest bedroom. Lafayette explained to him that his bedroom used to be the guest bedroom. 

“Sorry,” Alex said.

“Sorry for what, _mon ami_?” Laf asked. 

“Sorry for taking your guest bedroom,” he said. 

“ _Oh s'il te plait_. We have too many rooms anyway,” they replied. 

Then the tour continued. They led him once again through the large living room then up the stairs, showing him the master bedroom at the end of the hall, George’s office right next door, and Martha’s library through an adjoining door. At the other end of the hall was a bathroom, closet, and stairs up to an attic, which Lafayette told him was irrelevant. Then in the middle of the hallway, right next to the stairs were two doors. One led to Lafayette’s room, and the other to Alexander’s. Martha was still making the bed when he arrived, but she gestured them in anyway.

His room was different from the rest of the house. While the house has more of antique, rustic look, with mostly hardwood floors, this room was painted a light blue with a white fluffy carpet. There was a desk on one side of the room and a bed on the other. Under the window were bean bag chairs, which was next to the adjoining bathroom. Just as he walked in, on his right was a walk in closet. He didn’t know how people had enough clothes to fill them. 

“I’m sorry it’s a little bare. We didn’t know what you liked. I’m sure you can pick some stuff up tomorrow to decorate the walls,” Martha said, folding back the comforter, “we’ll leave you to get settled. I’ll be down the hall in the library if you need anything. George is in his office…”

“And I’ll be in my room,” Laf said, “unless you want me to stay?” 

“No. It’s okay. You guys should go to sleep,” Alex said, shaking his head. The two nodded and left his room, closing the door behind it. Alex walked over to the door and locked it quickly. He exhaled, feeling a little bit safer behind the locked door. It was one of the few things that brought him comfort these days.

Then he faced the room again. This whole room was his. The room he had shared with four other children at the Lees was smaller than this. He didn’t understand why the Washingtons were being so nice to him. He didn’t deserve it. No one was nice to that poor orphan from the Caribbean. No one thought he deserved the opportunity he had gotten. 

He scolded himself for enjoying the pleasures. It wouldn’t last long. It would start soon, and he would be defenseless to stop it. Soon this room would be his only sanctuary. George was much bigger than him, and it was _very_ intimidating. Mr. Lee and Mr. Eaker had also been bigger than him; it wasn’t exactly that difficult to be bigger than him, but neither of them were as big as George. He took his shoes off and grabbed the half filled journal from his backpack.

He sat down in the bean bag chair and continued to tell his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading that guys I hope you enjoyed it.  
> If you're bored, you can give me a yell on tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)
> 
> French translations:
> 
> nous avons besoin d' un peu de sang frais comme pas beaucoup de gens comme nous: We need some fresh blood as not many people like us
> 
> Ça va. Je parle français: It’s okay. I speak French. 
> 
> Oh s'il te plait: Oh please


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes to the mall and all is well, but then all is not

**Chapter 2**

It was the first time in a while that John finished his homework before midnight. He settled down, happy to get to sleep early, when his phone exploded. It started vibrating frantically on his dresser. He groaned and picked it up. 

**From Baguette(11:38 pm):** Omg Laurens he is here  
**From Baguette(11:38 pm):** He is the most adorable being ever  
**From Baguette(11:38 pm):** If I was not completely in love with Hercules he would be all mine  
**From Baguette(11:39 pm):** But I am completely in love with Hercules so he is all yours _mon ami_  
**From Baguette(11:39 pm):** He is so small and adorable  
**From Baguette(11:39 pm):** Your little gay heart will explode when you see him  
**From Baguette(11:39 pm):** You must come over immediately  
**From Baguette(11:40 pm):** You must meet him right now

John was astounded at how fast Laf was able to type. He sighed and replied. 

**To Baguette(11:41 pm):** Lol Laf I’ll see him tomorrow

He paused before typing again. 

**To Baguette(11:42 pm):** Is he really that cute?

**From Baguette(11:42 pm):** Omg yes, _mon ami_  
**From Baguette(11:42 pm):** I think he may be shorter than you  
**From Baguette(11:43 pm):** And that is saying something

**To Baguette(11:44 pm):** Thanks Laf  
**To Baguette(11:45 pm):** Now I have to sleep. I get the baby tomorrow morning before I come over

 **From Baguette(11:45 pm):** Goodnight dear Laurens. I will sleep and have dreams of you and little Alexander making tender love to each other

 **To Baguette(11:47 pm):** LAF!!!! Really?!

 **From Baguette(11:47 pm)** Yes

 **To Baguette(11:48 pm):** Goodnight Lafayette

With that, John put his phone on do not disturb and placed it back on his nightstand. He was fine telling Laf about Mary Eleanor. They knew about her, but they didn’t know about his full home situation. They knew his father had become cold since his mother had died. They knew his father would never accept him being gay. They knew that his father made him and Martha take care of the baby when he was not home and they were. 

They didn’t know that his father completely ignored Mary Eleanor.

They didn’t know that his father ruled their house with more of an iron fist than before. 

They didn’t know that his father hit him. 

And they could never know. Ever. As much as he wanted to ruin his father’s reputation, he couldn’t tell anyone. His father would beat him senseless. Child protection services would tear him and his siblings from his house. They were all be put in foster care. No one in their right mind would take in five children. They would all be separated. He would never see them again. He probably wouldn’t be able to afford to go to college, and that would satisfy his father all too much. 

So nobody knew. He could suck it up. He could deal with staying in the closet. He could deal with being ignored. He could deal with taking care of Mary Eleanor. He could deal with giving up his dreams of going to college in New York. He could deal with being hit. He could suffer if it meant keeping his siblings safe and their dysfunctional family stays as together as it is. 

John rolled over, a tear falling from his eye. He kept telling himself that this was what his mother would have done if she was in his position. Hell, she might’ve been in his position, he never knew, and he would never know. He sighed and kept telling himself that he was as brave as his mother. He closed his eyes ready to go to sleep. 

Then there was a faint knock at his door. He propped himself up on his elbow and muttered a groggy, “come in,” while wiping the remaining tears from his eyes. 

His youngest brother James came into the room, teddy bear clutched to his chest. John could tell that he’d been crying. 

“Jack,” he whispered, “I had a bad dream about dad,”

“Well, it’s all over now. Do you want to come lay with me?” John asked. James nodded and closed the door, walking over to his bed. Given that the bed was only a few inches shorter than his little brother, the boy had to jump and grab the blankets to crawl up. John lifted the blankets to let the small boy under. He could feel the fur of the teddy bear on his bare skin as James hugged his chest. John put his arm around his younger brother. 

“Do you want to talk about it or just sleep?” John asked softly, looking at his baby brother. 

“Just sleep,” he said, half asleep. John nodded and began running his fingers through his brother’s hair. His two younger brothers had nightmares often and he had found the best way to get them back to sleep was to just run his fingers through their hair. It was a soothing motion that would have any child asleep in minutes. His mother used to do it to him. 

He remembered a time where all his siblings were happy. When Martha acted as if she was eleven. When Junior and James didn’t come into his room at least once a week after having a nightmare about their father’s yelling. When he didn’t have to take care of an infant at age sixteen. He remembered a time where he wasn’t their parent. He didn’t mind it, he just wished that things were different. He just wished that his father cared. 

John almost laughed at that ridiculous statement. His father hardly cared when his mother was alive. There was no reason he should expect the man to care now. He laid back and closed his eyes, just silently accepting that fact that he was the only real parent his siblings had. 

***

Alexander didn’t know what time it was when he woke up the next morning. He had fallen asleep in the beanbag chair with his notebook on his lap. The pen mark that had slid down the side of the page clearly indicated that he had fallen asleep mid-sentence. He look at the sentence, _and then Mr. Washington yelled at Laf..._. He read back over the entire page trying to pick up on his train of thought. He couldn’t. 

He sighed and closed the notebook as he stood up. Alex looked at the little clock on the desk. It told him that it was seven am. When he had lasted looked at that clock it was three am, so he got at most four hours of sleep, which was pretty good given his insomnia. He looked at the bathroom and wondered if it was too early to take a shower. Would it wake the Washingtons? Would they be mad if it did? Would that be when their true colors showed?

He decided to wait to take a shower. He pulled the curtains aside and looked out the window. The sun was just rising. He pushed the window opened and sat on the ledge, leaning against the glass. Alex sat with the cold Virginia air (which was nothing compared to the cold in New York, but was way colder than the cold in the Caribbean) nipping at his bare skin. As much as he would say he hated the cold, he liked how the feeling of his skin freezing made him forget his troubles. 

Alex didn’t know how much time had passed before he heard movement outside his door. He jumped up, startled, and quickly closed his window. He stood stock still even though the bedroom door was locked. No one could come in, but he didn’t want anyone to know he was awake either. He didn't move until the footsteps outside his door stopped. He didn’t know who it was or why they were up at eight o’clock in the morning on a Sunday. The Lees and the Eakers were never up that early. The footsteps had moved downstairs, but a shower was clearly running somewhere upstairs. He decided to take a shower, assuming everyone in the house was awake by that point. 

The bathroom was larger than any bathroom he’d been in before. There was a shower against the wall with a glass sliding door and a tub in the corner. There were all sorts of soaps and other things on the counter that he didn't recognize. He found shampoo, conditioner, and body wash among the stuff that was spread on the sink. It took him three minutes but he managed to figure out how to turn on the shower. 

The hot shower water felt nice against his cold skin. It was one of the very few pleasures he had in life now. The way his freezing skin warmed under the hot water. He scrubbed the grease out of his hair with the shampoo that had been left of the ledge of the shower. He hadn’t showered since before he went to the hospital, and he did not smell good. He was glad to get cleaned up. After he got out of the shower, he pulled on his second pair of clothes. Then he washed the clothes he’d been wearing, and let them hang over the shower. He turned on the overhead fan, hoping they’d be dry by tomorrow. That was his routine, and it had been his routine since he moved into the Eakers house. 

He sat down at the desk and started pulling the drawers open, just so he had something to do. He found a book sitting in the bottom drawer of the desk. He recognized the title as one he was going to read at school before the Eakers kicked him out. It had sounded interesting enough. He took it out of the drawer and began to read it. 

The pages turned quickly, and his eyes were stuck on a sentence on page 47 when a there was a knock at his door. He dropped the book back in the drawer the second. He quietly closed the drawer, not knowing if he was allowed to be going through the desk. 

“Alex, sweety? Are you up?” it was Martha who spoke to him. 

“Yes. I’m up,” Alex replied, getting up from the desk and standing in the middle of the room. 

“Okay. Well, breakfast is just about ready downstairs. Gilbert is already down. Come whenever you’re ready,” she replied. He heard her footsteps walking away. He vowed to himself that he would finish that book because the first few chapters he read were rather interesting. Alex grabbed his backpack from the corner of the room, not wanting to go anywhere without it. He walked up to his door and unlocked it, ready to face his new family for the first time in daylight. He had looked at his face in the mirror, and the bruise on his cheek had mostly faded, so he hoped none of them would notice. He left his room. 

The second he was in the hallway his nose detected a wonderful smell. Alex couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was, but he wanted to eat it. He almost laughed at himself. If this family was like the others, which he knew they would be like the others, he would never get to eat whatever that smell was. The last time he had smelled food this good, it was eaten by others sitting right in front of him. 

He cautiously walked down the stairs, being careful not to trip over the ends of the jeans that were slightly too long for him. He walked through the living room and into the informal dining room where Laf was sitting eating a food he had never seen before in his life. 

“Oh! Good morning _mon ami!_!” Laf shouted with a mouth full of food, “George had to leave early for work, and Martha is upstairs showering, so it is just us at breakfast for now. Did you sleep well? Do you like the shampoo I gave you? Do you want a waffle?”

They fired questions at him quickly. The only thing he actually took away from it all was that the food in front of the two of them was a waffle. 

“I’ve never had a waffle,” he said quietly. It was true. Waffles weren’t really a Caribbean staple, and neither of his previous foster homes had given him the luxury, both for different reasons. 

“ _Vous avez jamais eu une gaufre?!_ ” they said, so shocked they switched back to their native language, “ _mon ami_ , we must fix this at once! Come! Sit!”

Alex walked over to the circular table and sat down next to them. They stabbed one of the large waffles with their fork and plopped it down on Alex’s plate. Alex gave them a weak smile as they poured syrup over top of his breakfast. 

“Whipped cream?” Laf asked, holding up the bottle. Alex shrugged and they just about emptied the can on top of the waffle. Laf looked at him expectantly as he picked up his fork and knife. He cut a piece of waffle and plopped it in his mouth. He would be lying if he said it wasn’t delicious. 

“Well?” they asked. 

“It’s...amazing,” Alex said, swallowing his food, “did Mrs. Washington make these?”

“Yes, Martha made them,” they replied, putting an emphasis on Martha, as if trying to correct his use of her last name, “she has cinnamon rolls in the oven as well for when my friends come over. Which should be in a few minutes,”

Alex swallowed nervously, “your...friends?”

“Well, I say friends. It’s my boyfriend and our third wheel,” Laf smiled widely. The oven went off and they jumped up to get the pastries out. It was then that Alex saw that they were wearing a bright blue skirt that matched their white blouse beautifully. He looked down at his tattered shirt and old jeans. He felt he didn’t deserve to be in the presence of someone who dressed so nicely.

“Martha wants us to take you to the mall,” Laf said, “she wants us to get you some new clothes and anything you might need for school,”

“Okay,” Alex replied. His voice was shaky. He had only just met Laf, and now he was going to meet their friends. What if their friends didn’t like him? Would Laf be his friend at home but not at school? Would they shun him? Would they tell the Washingtons to send him back to New York? The thoughts swirled around in his head and his breathing became shallow. He counted, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

Alex poked at his waffle. He broke off another piece with his fork and ate it. He sat trying to calm himself for when Laf’s friends came over. He was barely able to focus on his waffle. Then he heard the front door open. One of them was here. He heard excited voices coming from the other room. His instincts told him to get up and run, but his legs refused to move. Alex hated meeting new people. It never turned out well for him. 

He heard footsteps coming towards him. He stared at his waffle, trying to make it seem as if he wasn’t on the verge of having a panic attack. Then Laf came through the doorway wearing oven mitts and carrying a plate of cinnamon rolls covered in icing. Behind them was probably the biggest teenager Alex had ever seen. He looked strong enough to be able to crush Alex under his thumb. He swallowed nervously. 

“Alex, this is Hercules Mulligan. He is my boyfriend,” Laf said, placing the cinnamon rolls on the table, then he whispered, “do not be intimidated by his size. He is truly a big teddy bear,”

“Yeah, Huge,” Herc said. He walked past Laf and slapped their ass. 

“Hey!” Laf shouted. They took off their oven mitt and hit Herc with it a few times. Herc let out a loud laugh and sat down in the chair next to Alex. 

“So, Alex, where are you from?” Herc asked while taking a bite of a cinnamon roll. 

“New York,” Alex replied.

“Well, actually…” Laf began, but Alex quickly cut him off. 

“ _S'il vous plaît ne dites à personne où je suis vraiment de_ ” Alex pleaded. 

“ _Bien sûr, je ne vais pas peu Alex_ ” Laf replied. Alex breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Oh god. Another one,” Herc said. Alex looked slightly confused. 

“Hercules is the only one among our group of friends who does not speak some French,” Laf said, “he gets very grumpy about it sometimes,”

“Oh,” Alex said, putting his head down, “sorry,”

“Dude. Why are you sorry?” Herc asked with a small chuckle.

“For speaking French,” Alex replied quietly. 

“I don’t really care,” Herc whispered to him, “I just get all pouty about it because it makes Laf happy,”

Alex looked up at him, “really?”

“Yeah,” Herc replied, “because that’s what a good boyfriend would do,”

“Um. What is going on?” Laf asked, “because I do not speak whisper,”

“Believe me. I know,” Herc said laughing. They all heard the front door close. Laf ran out into the kitchen and saw John coming in their direction. 

“Oh! John _mon ami_! Come quickly! He’s through here!” Laf said, grabbing John by the arm and pulling him towards the dining room. 

“Relax, Laf. I don’t think he’s going to disappear,” John replied. 

Alex wished he could disappear. He heard the two talking in the kitchen and he discovered two things. One, Laf really didn’t know how to whisper, and two, Laf had already talked to John about him. 

Then John walked into the dining room. Alex forced himself to look up at the newcomer, and he was glad that he did. To say this boy was gorgeous was an understatement. His long, curly hair was tied back, and there were enough freckles on his face to challenge the number of stars in the sky. John smiled shyly at him. His smile was beautiful. Maybe living with the Washingtons wouldn’t be so bad after all

“Uh. Hi,” John said, “I’m, uh, John Laurens,”

“Alexander Hamilton,” Alex replied, “but you can just call me Alex,”

“Cool,” John said.

Laf went and sat down next to Herc, forcing John to sit next to Alex. The four sat silently and ate. Herc, John, and Laf made quick work of the cinnamon rolls. They made sure to leave one for Alex. Then Martha came downstairs, dressed for work. She came into the dining room. 

“Morning kids,” she said. Then she looked at the almost empty plate of cinnamon rolls, “really? I don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore,”

The four laughed and she went to grab the last cinnamon roll. 

“That is Alex’s,” Laf said, “he hasn’t eaten one yet,”

Alex’s eyes widened at the mention of his name, “you can have it. It’s fine,” he said quickly, “I’m not that hungry anyway,”

“ _Mon ami_ , you’ve taken two bites of your waffle,” Laf said. 

“I’m not hungry,” Alex said, a little louder with his head down. 

“If he doesn’t want to eat, don’t make him eat,” John said sternly. Alex looked up at John and met his eye. He gave the boy a weak smile. John smiled back, and Alex would be lying if he said John defending him didn’t make his stomach flip. 

“Okay well,” Martha took the cinnamon roll, “there’s a list on the counter of everything Alex is going to need. My credit card is there as well. Go up to the mall then stop at Staples. I don’t care if you go off the list, just make sure you get everything on it,”

“Okay,” the four said. 

“I’m working late tonight. So George is in charge of dinner, which means we’re probably getting takeout,” she said. They all laughed, “John, you and Herc are welcomed to stay if you want,”

“Thank you, Martha,” John said, “but I have to be home by five tonight,”

“I’ll probably stay,” Herc said. She nodded then left the room. They heard her fiddling with her things in the kitchen before she was out the front door. 

“Martha is an ER nurse,” Laf says, “so she works some strange hours. George is a senator. He works a typical nine to five, unless there’s a crisis, then we might not see him for days,”

“That’s interesting,” Alex said, “I have to go to the bathroom,”

Alex stood and left the room. John’s eyes followed him out of the room. The second they heard the bathroom door closed, Laf nearly squealed. 

“Isn’t he adorable?!” Laf said excitedly, “I told you he was adorable! And he likes you! He didn’t look afraid of you! Which is amazing considering he seems afraid of everyone else. This is adorable! You two are going to go out, and then you’ll kiss him and you’ll get married and…”

“Laf. Slow down,” John said, “I just met him, and he looks terrified,”

“Yes I am aware,” Laf said, “but you have to admit, he is very cute,”

“Yes he is very cute,” John gave in. 

“What about me? Am I not cute?” Herc asked, fake hurt. 

“No you’re adorable,” Laf placed a hand on Herc’s cheek and kissed him. 

“Ugh. Guys. Come on!” John said, shielding his eyes, “we talked about this!”

“Oh. _Pardon, mon ami_ ,” Laf laughed. John just glared at them both. 

“I hate both of you,” John said. Then Alex reentered the room. 

“Why do you hate them?” Alex asked. 

“Public displays of affection,” John told him, “you have been warned,”

Alex laughed a little. John could get high off his laugh. 

“Shall we go?” asked Laf, getting up. 

“Sure,” John said. He stood as well, “Alex?”

“Yeah. We can go,” Alex said. Alex grabbed his backpack as the four got up and walked towards the door. Laf grabbed the list and the credit card off the counter. There were shoes and jackets sitting next to the front door. 

“Alex do you not have a jacket?” John asked. Alex shook his head. 

“Alright stay here,” John said, “I think I have a hoodie in my car you can borrow,”

“You don’t have to,” Alex said, “I’ll be okay,”

“No. I’ll go get it. Don’t move,” John said. He opened the door and walked towards his car. 

“He is cute, is he not?” Laf asked. 

“What?” Alex asked, looking at them, confused. 

“Do you not think he is adorable?” they asked excitedly. 

“I mean. I guess,” Alex said. 

“If you have no already figured it out, little Alex, none of us are straight. I hope you do not have a problem with this,”

“Well I’d be a hypocrite if I did,” Alex replied. Then he realized what he had just said. He had never told anyone that before. Nobody knew. Nobody was supposed to know. But they had to be supportive of him right? They were like him? The Washingtons had to be supportive as well considering they treated Laf like a person and they were very much out of the closet. He began counting. _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

“Why would he be a hypocrite?” John asked, walking back inside. He handed Alex the sweater, “here,”

Alex took the hoodie from him, still too terrified to say anything. 

“He’d be a hypocrite if he had a problem with us all not being straight,” Herc said. 

“Oh that’s awesome man!” John said smiling. Alex nodded a little. John looked at him weird, “wait. Are we the first people you’ve told?”

“Um...yeah,” Alex said, staring at his shoes. Not even seconds later, he felt two arms wrap around him. He froze. Physical contact never meant anything good. Physical contact always ended badly. Then he saw freckles out of the corner of his eye, and felt curly hair brushing his cheek. It was John. Alex hugged him back lightly. He smelled of vanilla and coconut. He liked that smell very much. 

“Good job,” John said, backing up, “you are now one step further down the road of teenage self discovery,”

Alex laughed a little. The other two burst out laughing as well. 

“Where’d you get that line?” Herc asked. 

“Despite what you might think, I came up with it myself,” John said.

“Well, it’s a good one,” Alex said, pulling John’s hoodie on. The sleeves were a tad too long and came down over his hands. He felt safe in John’s hoodie, it smelled like him. It was nice.

Herc wrapped his arm around Laf’s waist as the two walked out into the cold November air. John looked at Alexander, and offered him his hand. Alex smiled and took it, not bothering to roll of the sleeve of John’s sweater. Alex couldn’t explain why, but he felt more comfortable with John than he had felt with anyone since coming to America. He had only just met the kid, yet he was willing to let him give him a hug. Alex didn’t understand it, but he was now craving the closeness that he had felt only moments ago. 

***

John’s phone buzzed on their way to the mall. He was upset he had to pull his hand away from Alex’s. The two were just barely brushing each other since Herc and Laf had teased them on their way to the car. He slid his phone out of his pocket. 

**From Lil Sis(10:14 am):** I think the baby’s sick

John’s heart nearly dropped out of his chest

**To Lil Sis(10:14 am):** Why do you think that?

 **From Lil Sis(10:15 am):** She won’t stop crying. I fed her, I burped her, I changed her. Everything. Nothing is working. 

**To Lil Sis(10:17 pm):** Dad’s not home, is he?

 **From Lil Sis(10:17 am):** He isn’t

 **To Lil Sis(10:18 am):** Thank god  
**To Lil Sis(10:19 am):** Okay. Take her to the doctor.  
**To Lil Sis(10:20 am):** I love you both to death and I would come, but he is really cute

 **From Lil Sis(10:21 am):** I can’t take her to the doctor! I’m too young!  
**From Lil Sis(10:21 am):** And I will try for your romantic efforts, but only because I love you

 **To Lil Sis(10:22 am):** Okay...um...have Nina drive you. When you call, tell them that your father and your older brother out of town and can’t get back until next week.  
**To Lil Sis(10:22 am):** And thank you

 **From Lil Sis(10:23 am):** You’re welcome  
**From Lil Sis(10:24 am):** And will that even work?

 **To Lil Sis(10:25 am):** I don’t know, but it’s the best we have.  
**To Lil Sis(10:27 am):** If they have a problem with it, have them call me. They have my number from when he brought her in a few months ago.  
**To Lil Sis(10:28 am):** I’ll be home by 5

 **From Lil Sis(10:29 am):** Okay

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked softly. John looked at him, trying to control the panic that was obviously evident all over his face. 

“Um. Yeah, everything’s fine,” John said, “just my little sister is sick,”

“Martha or Mary?” Herc asked from the front seat. 

“Um, Mary,” John replied. 

“Oh _mon ami_ , do you want me to take you home?” Laf asked, eyeing him in the rearview mirror.

“No. It’s okay. Martha is taking care of it,” John said. 

“Can an eleven year old take an infant to the doctor?” Herc asked. 

“I don’t know. I hope,” John said, “Nina’s going to drive her there. In theory that should work,”

“Why would you have to go?” Alex asked, “can’t your parents take her?”

The entire car was silent. Everyone was waiting for John to speak. Alex knew that he had crossed a line, it was written all over John’s face. 

“My mom passed away in July,” John said, “it was because of my little sister. My father makes us take care of her when he isn't home and he won't leave work for her,”

“My mom died too,” Alex said, “I was twelve. Dad skipped out on me before I was born. I understand,”

“Do you have any siblings?” John asked. 

“A half brother I never met, and an older brother I haven’t seen since my cousin killed himself,” Alex replied. He didn’t know why he felt comfortable sharing this. He hadn’t told anyone. Child protection services didn’t even know about his brother, yet here he was giving personal information to a complete stranger. But his early life experiences were tame compared to everything he had experienced in America. 

“I’m sorry,” John said, placing his hand lightly on top of Alex’s. Alex only nodded. He could barely focus on anything when John’s hand was on his. Every touch he’d felt while in America was painful or shameful, but John’s was different. Alex just wanted to curl up next to him and have John hold him tight. He just wanted John to keep him safe. 

They pulled into the parking lot of the mall. They all climbed out of the car as Alex grabbed his backpack. Then he looked up at the building and marveled at the size. He had never been to a mall before. The sheer size of the building was enough to intimidate him. He just stayed close to John. He was grateful the boy didn’t shy away when Alex stood close enough that they touched. 

Alex soon realized that John was not kidding about Herc and Laf’s public displays of affection. Herc always had his arm somewhere on Laf, whether it be on their waist, around their shoulder, or just holding their hand. Alex found it rather endearing. He wanted John to hold him like that, but he would in no way make that known to anyone. Alex thought John was absolutely adorable, and it was just in that moment that he realized he wanted him and John to have the same thing Herc and Laf had. It was a new sensation to him. 

As they wandered around to different stores buying clothes, Alex barely said a word. He basically let the others dress him. Someone would pick something out, Alex would try it on, Laf and Herc would critique it, and then they would start all over again. 

The day had begun without incident, until they went to buy Alex’s clothes. 

As he saw the price raise higher and higher, Alex started to get nervous. The price was already at three hundred dollars, and Hercules still had a huge pile of clothes in his arms. 

“It’s okay guys. We can put that stuff back,” Alex said, gesturing to the stuff in Herc’s arms. 

“Nonsense, _mon ami_ ,” Laf said. They motioned for Herc to place the rest of the clothes on the counter. 

“Really. It’s fine,” Alex said, “I didn’t need any clothes anyway,”

“ _Alexandre_ , you have like three shirts,” Laf said, “I saw your bag when you came in. At first I didn’t know if there was anything in it,”

Alex just stared at the ground, trying to calm his breathing. The Washingtons were going to kill him for spending so much, then they would send him away, and he would never see John again…

“Hey. Alex,” it was John’s voice. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that the boy had both of his hands on Alex’s shoulders, “Alex, it’s fine. The Washingtons are filthy rich. This amount of money won’t bother them at all,”

“John. We’re spending over five hundred dollars on stuff I don’t need!” Alex said, looking at the register. Laf glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Alex didn’t blame them, that was the most vocal he had been since he had arrived. 

“Alex, listen,” Laf said, “when I arrived at the Washingtons, I was running from a war. I had a bag not larger than yours. The Washingtons brought me here and spent more than five thousand dollars on me,”

“Geez, babe, what did you buy?” Herc asked laughing. 

“I needed a new bed,” they replied, “the one they bought me was too small. They thought I was smaller,” 

“It is a nice bed,” Herc said with a grin. He winked at Laf who blushed. 

“That’s disgusting,”

The four turned towards the voice. It was the man standing in line behind them in line. 

“People like you should be committed,” he said. Laf turned to go after the man, but Herc grabbed them, muttering something about how he wasn’t worth the energy. Alex looked over at John and saw him practically seething. Alex felt something inside him, something he hadn’t felt since before his mother died. A fire that would continue to burn until his enemies had been fully burnt by it. 

“You know,” Alex said, standing up a little straighter, “I think people like _you_ should be committed,”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, “and why is that little boy?”

“Because, you see, in the era we live in, this,” he gestured to Laf and Herc, “is both socially acceptable, and might I add legal. Discriminating someone for their sexual orientation or gender identity is, in fact, illegal. You should be committed until you have learned how to function acceptably in this society,”

Alex looked the man dead in the eye. He smiled, knowing that the man had no counter argument. Alex gave Herc a look. The boy smiled before pressing his lips against Laf’s. Alex almost burst out laughing when he saw the look on the man’s face.

“Well, I refuse to shop somewhere that lets people like _you_ shop here,” he dropped the clothes in his arms on the ground and walked past them. 

“Good thing you had a problem with it because I sure as hell wasn’t leaving,” Alex said, just loud enough to the man to hear. Alex smirked after he heard the pause in the man’s footsteps, and then heard them continue on. 

“I am so sorry about that,” the cashier said. 

“Oh it is no worry,” Laf replied, “I have to deal with these people all the time. It is not your fault,”

“Well, I feel bad. I’m going to give you twenty percent off,” she said. Laf smiled. 

“I am not going to object to that,” they said. Everyone laughed. 

“And if it’s any consolation,” she said, “I think you two are adorable,”

“Why thank you,” Laf curtsied before kissing Herc on the cheek. John looked at Alex. 

“Alex, dude. That was freaking amazing!” John said, smiling, “I didn’t know you had such a way with words,”

“Yeah. Well,” Alex said, scratching the back of his neck. He tried his best to hide his blush. He had impressed John. That was enough to satisfy him for the rest of the week. 

They finished checking out, and the woman gave them all their bags. They decided that a stop back at the car was necessary given they had many more stops to make. 

“Can we stop at the food court first?” Herc asked, “because I am starving,”

“God me too,” John groaned. Alex silently agreed to go, even though he wasn’t hungry. They all browsed the food court, settling on different things to eat. John got Chinese, Laf got sushi, and Herc got a burger. 

“Aren’t you going to get anything?” John asked. 

“I’m not hungry,” Alex said quietly. John sighed. He would be lying to anyone if he told them that he wasn’t turned on when Alex told that guy off. He was a completely different person when he was angry. Then he had instantly reverted back to the shy, quiet Alex he had come to know. But John didn’t mind that at all, he had a crush on that Alex. He just wanted to coax the boy out of his shell a little more. 

“Have you ever had an Auntie Anne’s pretzel?” John asked. Alex shook his head. 

“Well, we’re fixing that,” John grabbed Alex’s hand and dragging him over to the pretzel stand. 

“John I’m not hungry,” Alex protested, but John ignored him. The two stood in line, hand in hand. John didn’t want to let go, so he didn’t. He assumed Alex didn’t want to let go either, because he didn’t.

John bought Alex the pretzel and they walked over to the table Laf and Herc were sitting at. John looked at him expectantly. 

“Well. Try it!” John said smiling. Alex smiled a little at his excitement before putting the fried dough into his mouth. It was better than the waffle he had eaten this morning. 

“That’s actually really good,” Alex said.

“See. I told you,” John said, picking up his chopsticks. Alex looked over at Laf and Herc. Herc was whispering softly in Laf’s ear, and given Laf’s very obvious blush, Alex decided he did not want to know what they were talking about. 

“They do that all the time,” John whispered, “being a third wheel in general sucks, but being a third wheel to those two, is _awful_ petit lion,” Laf said suddenly.

“What?” John and Alex asked at the same time. 

“That is what we shall call little Alex. _Petit lion_ ,”

“Um. Why?” Alex asked. 

“Because. You are little, but you are also very feisty,” Laf said. 

“ _Oh pourquoi moi?_ ” Alex muttered softly. 

“Wait you speak french?” John asked. Alex nodded. 

“That’s awesome! Me too!” John said, “do you speak any other languages?”

“Spanish,” Alex said, “and English, obviously,”

“Dude!” John said excitedly, “me too! We were like made for each other,”

An awkward silence followed John’s last comment. Laf eyed them both with a smirk. Alex continued eating. He surprised himself when he finished the whole pretzel. He didn’t expect to even eat a bite, yet the whole thing was gone. Now he was sure he wouldn’t have to eat anything for the next day or two. 

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. Alex was surprised when Laf bought him a phone, a tablet, and a laptop. They picked out different sheets for his bed and different things that could go on his wall. He particularly liked the poster that said ‘this is not a pipe’ in French, right underneath the drawing of a pipe. John had decided that he and Alex would leave every time they went to check out, to avoid any price induced panic attacks. 

Then they stopped at Staples. Alex stopped in his tracks when they entered the door. The amount of notebooks in pens in that store was enormous. He had never seen so many notebooks in his life. He bought way more than necessary. He even bought another expensive leather bound one. It would never match up to the one his mother bought him, but it was still pretty. After Alex expressed an interest in writing, John insisted that Laf buy him a hundred dollar fountain pen. Alex insisted he didn’t need it, but John insisted he did. They left as Laf checked out.

All in all, Laf deemed the day a success. They were home a half hour before John needed to be home, and they had gotten everything on Martha’s list and more. The best part of Alex’s day was when John insisted Alex have his phone number the second he got the unnecessary device. 

John offered to help carry in bags, but the other three told him to go and check on his siblings. John nodded and left, making eye contact with Alex for just a little too long before he went. He desperately wanted to know more about John’s home life, but he was not going to push. He knew how it felt to be pushed for information he didn’t want to give.

Alex put his backpack over his shoulder before grabbing as many bags as his laughably weak arms could carry. Herc and Laf then grabbed bags as well and the three made their way towards the house. Laf and Herc entered first, going to place all the bags in Alex’s bedroom. George was already home, and he stood to greet the boys. He told them all to just throw the bags into the living room for now because he was hungry and wanted to order dinner. 

Alex was the last one in the house. He was slightly less intimidated by George at this moment, so he didn’t freeze when he laid eyes on him. He picked up his foot and kicked the front door closed. He lost his balance as some of the bags began slipping out of his hands. Then he felt two strong hands around his waist. He froze instantly as memories were brought forward in his minds. He instantly jerked out of the grip and landed on the ground. He looked up and saw George standing over him. Alex didn’t even register the concerned look on the man’s face. His breathing instantly sped up. He tried counting, but it did absolutely nothing. 

“Alex…” George said, taking a step forward. Alex screamed and stood up. Then the next thing he knew, he was running. He flung the door opened and ran down the stairs. He ran down the driveway towards the gate. The dreaded gate. He didn’t hear footsteps immediately behind him so he ran up to it and pushed the button on the side. He waited for only a second before slipping through the crack. He ran, backpack still on his back, across the street towards the sunset. 

***

John was driving home when he got the call. 

He was a bit confused when he got a call from Laf. It had been five minutes since he left. 

“Alex has run away,” Laf said. They sounded as if they was out of breath, “you have to help us find him,”

“What?!” John said, almost forgetting to stop at a red light, “he ran?! Why?!”

“We do not know! He was falling and George grabbed him. Then he freaked out,” Laf said. 

“Oh my god…” John’s voice drifted off, “I will be out immediately after dinner,”

“ _Quelle?! Mon petit lion_ is missing and you want to _eat dinner?!_ ” Laf asked, “I thought you loved him,”

“Laf. My father will _kill_ me if I miss dinner,” John said, “you know how he feels about it,”

“ _Oui,_ I do,” they replied. 

“I will come out immediately after,” John said, “I gotta go,”

John pulled in his driveway. His father wasn’t home yet. He ran into the house. 

“Martha! Martha!” he yelled. Martha came down the stairs with a concerned look on her face. 

“Jack? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Everything,” John said, “but first off, how’s the baby?” 

“She’s fine,” Martha said, “I had no problems with the doctor. She has an ear infection. She gave me the prescription, but you have to fill it,”

“Understandable,” John said, then he lowered his voice, “I’m going to need you to cover for me after dinner,”

“Why? What happened?” Martha asked. 

“My new friend, Alex, the really cute one,” John said. Martha smiled, “he ran away, and no one can find him. I’m going to go out and help,”

“Yeah. I can cover for you. Just lock your door before you leave,” Martha said. John nodded before walking towards the dining room to set the table for dinner. 

***

 

Alex didn’t know how far he ran. He didn’t know where he ran to. All he knew is that it was dark and he was far away from the Washingtons. He had run into the woods across from their house. He began to freak out again. It was dark and he was completely lost. The only things that offered him comfort were his backpack and John’s sweater. He stopped running and just walked. He heard no one coming after him. Maybe they didn’t care after all. 

He continued walking until he came to a clearing. There was a pond in the middle. This would be the perfect place to hide. He walked over to some bushes and placed his backpack in them. He debated keeping John’s sweater on, but in the end decided to take it off. He walked into the pond, the cold water freezing his skin. He smiled, the cold was instantly pushing those horrible memories deep inside his mind. He walked as far as he could before he swam out to the center and just let himself float. 

***

John had to keep himself from running up the stairs after he was excused from dinner. His father hadn’t said anything to him during dinner about Alex. Either he forgot the boy was coming, or he didn’t know John had met him yet. He assumed the latter, given it was unlikely for his father to forget anything that would advance his political career. His children on the other hand…

It was James and Junior’s night to do dishes, so he and Martha were in the clear. She gave him a nod as he went off into his room. He locked the door and opened the window. He had climbed in and out of that window many times. There was a tree close enough that if he grabbed onto the gutter he could shimmy across to it. When he hit the ground he called Laf. 

“Have you found him yet?” John asked. 

“No,” Laf replied.

“My dad said I can’t take the car,” John lied, “so I need you to come pick me up,”. 

“Martha is on her way home. I’ll have her pick you up,” they said.

“Okay. Tell her I’m going to start running to your house and to just pick me up on the main road,” John said. He heard Laf laugh a little. 

“Can do,”

John hung up and started running. 

***

“Alex! Alex!”

Alex’s blood ran cold at the sound of a voice. Not any voice, but George’s voice. His voice was distinguishable just because it was noticeably deeper than any of his friends’. He whipped his head around, and saw George walking in his direction. He saw the outline of a figure towards the edge of the woods. He lowered his head so only his nose and eyes were above the water. His breath was shallow, although he tried to control it so he could go underwater if need be. He saw George emerge from the trees. Alex pushed himself underwater. 

He heard the man call his name multiple times from above. His lungs burned, yelling at him to take a breath in. He fought the urge as the man’s voice grew softer. He stuck just his mouth above the water and took a deep breath before pushing himself under again. He only came fully back to the surface when he was sure George was gone. 

***

They had been searching for hours with no avail. It was nearly eleven o’clock at night when John came upon the pond. 

Martha had given him a flashlight when the two got home, and they had joined the search. Herc and Laf went uptown, Martha went downtown, and George and John were left to split up and search the surrounding area. He had come upon the pond. George told him he had already searched this entire area, but John couldn’t help but try again. He shined his flashlight across the entire clearing until it caught something floating still in the water. A body. John’s heart froze. It was Alex’s body. 

“Oh god,” was the only thing he was able to mutter before throwing his phone in the grass by the lake. He ran towards the lake as fast as he could, almost frantic. He didn’t even flinch at the freezing water. He didn’t care that there was water filling up his shoes. He walked through the sloshy mud until he couldn’t touch the ground anymore. He swam as quickly as he possibly could to Alex. He wrapped his arm around the boy’s chest, pulling him to shore, “oh god. Please don’t be dead. Alex, _please don’t be dead_ ,”

There were tears threatening to spill out of his eyes but he didn’t care. Alex might be dead, and there was nothing he could do. John dragged Alex onto the shore and immediately went for his phone. He couldn’t find where he dropped it. He held up his flashlight and looked around. He spotted Alex’s backpack in the bushes. He ran over and grabbed it, remembering Alex put his new phone into the side pocket. It took it out and opened the emergency call. 

An emergency service technician stayed on the line with him after he made the call, but he could only keep muttering one thing. 

“Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story time! The line about being one step further down the road of teenage self discovery isn’t mine. It’s actually what my teacher said to me, when I came out to him, and it’s what I’ve said to everyone who has come out to me since then. It’s really effective.  
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)  
> French translations:  
> Vous avez jamais eu une gaufre?!: You have never had a waffle?!  
> S'il vous plaît ne dites à personne où je suis vraiment d: Please don’t tell anyone where I’m really from  
> Bien sûr, je ne vais pas peu Alex: Of course I won’t, little Alex


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital fluff

**Chapter 3**

John spent the entire night at the hospital. He had called George shortly after the ambulance had shown up and taken Alex away. He had taken Alex’s backpack and hugged it close to his chest the entire ride to the hospital. They met the others there. Herc held Laf close while Martha buried her head into George’s shoulder, trying not to think of the worst. Now instead of being a third wheel, he was a fifth wheel. He continued to hug Alex's backpack. 

Alex was still unconscious in intensive care. Nobody really knew if he had attempted suicide or if his near death had just happened as a side effect of hiding from them. Laf told John what had happened, and it just made him want to cry. He hated to imagine Alex cowering on the ground in fear. He hated to imagine Alex screaming and running out the door. He hated to imagine how terrified he must have been. But what he hated to imagine the most, was _why_ he was so terrified. 

Between the five of them, they had decided on two things they were going to do if, no, _when_ Alex woke up. One, they were going to find out exactly what had happened to Alex before he came to the Washingtons, because it had become very clear that Alex was not the violent one, despite what his file said. Two, John was going to ask him out. 

Nobody knew this besides John. He had decided he was going to ask Alex out because the boy was more comfortable with him than anyone he had met thus far. Alex has let him hold his hand on multiple occasions that day. Plus he looked absolutely adorable in John's sweater. The only doubt in his mind was based off of whether or not Alex’s intentions were to kill himself. If that was the case, John was scared he wouldn't be good enough for him. He was afraid that, in Alex’s eyes, he wouldn't be worth living for. 

***

A few hours later, John was dosing off in his chair. He still had Alex's backpack on his lap. 

“Alexander Hamilton”

That's all John needed to hear before he was out of his seat and wide awake. The others were quick to follow. A nurse walked over to them. 

“How is he,” John was the first to ask and no one was surprised. 

“He's relatively stable at the moment,” she replied, “we are not sure how he’ll do through the rest of the night. Hypothermia can be fatal, and if he had stayed where he was, he probably would've died after another ten minutes,”

John nearly collapsed at that information. He thanked whatever god there was that he had shown up when he had. Now Alex at least had a chance. 

“Because he's relatively stable,” the nurse continued, “and a minor in intensive care, a parent or guardian can stay in the room with him overnight if you want,” 

George and Martha looked at each other. 

“You had a long shift,” George said, “I can sleep anywhere. I'll stay. You take the kids home and sleep,”

Martha nodded. George stepped towards the nurse who began walking away. 

“You'll just have to show proof that you're his parent,” she said

“Guardian,” George corrected. 

“George!” John called, running after him, “leave this in there,” John handed him the backpack, “just in case he wakes up. He's really attached to it,”

George took it, “I will son,”

“And don't look in it either,” John said sheepishly, “he seems...um...very secretive about it,”

“I wouldn't dream of it,” George replied. Then he continued following the nurse. John turned back and saw the others headed for the door. 

“Laf,” John said, “give me the keys to your car,”

“Why?” Laf turned. Their makeup was streaked down there face and Herc’s arm was wrapped around their waist. 

“I'm gonna stay,” John said, “I'll give your car back tomorrow,”

“I'm assuming you're not going to school tomorrow then,” Laf said, tossing him their keys. 

“Of course not,” John scoffed, “and I don't expect you to either,”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Laf smiled. They leaned their head on Herc's shoulder and the three left the hospital. John sat down once again. He texted his sister. 

**To Lil Sis(11:31 pm):** I’m staying overnight. I'll be home by 530 tomorrow morning. That okay?

She replied only a minute later. 

**From Lil Sis(11:32 pm):** Yup. Everything was fine here while you were gone. Dad didn't even ask about you. James and Junior went to bed fine. Mary is doing well. Taking the ear drops like a champ.  
**From Lil Sis(11:33 pm):** Want me to put a lump in your bed in case dad checks?

 **To Lil Sis(11:34 pm):** You’re a lifesaver. Truly

 **From Lil Sis(11:35 pm):** Love you too  <3

With that, John put his phone back in his pocket and leaned back in the arm chair, surrounded the white walls of the hospital waiting room. He always found he slept the best when he was high on some emotion. Whether it be extreme worry, upset, or happiness; he always seemed to sleep better when feeling an intense feeling. He was feeling a jumble of those emotions at that moment, so it was easy for him to drift off. 

***

When Alex first became aware of himself, he noticed the darkness. That was the only thing occupying his mind. He heard nothing, felt nothing. It was the darkness that hit him first. Then it was the noise. A faint beeping, distant yelling. It was disorienting. He began to panic once again. He had no idea where he was, and no recollection of how he got there. Then the memories came flooding back in. The fall, Mr. Washington, him taking off. The lake. He knew he wasn’t in a lake anymore, and that was the confusing part. That’s when the monitor began to beep faster. 

“Hey! Hey! Alex, calm down! Alex!” 

He opened his eyes and saw George standing above him. He screamed and scooted to the other end of the bed. There were wires connected to his body and a needle in his arm. He quickly began pulling them off. The only thing that registered in his brain was that he wasn’t safe where he was. He had to get away. He yanked the needle out of his arm and jumped off the bed, making a beeline towards the door. He felt two hands wrap around his waist and pick him up. He screamed again, pounding his fists into whatever flesh he could find. He kicked and struggled to get out of the man’s hold, only one thing going through his mind: _get away. You aren’t safe here. Run_.

Alex barely registered when more people burst into the room. He didn’t register George placing him down on the bed. He didn’t register the needle that was forced into his skin. He did however, register the darkness that soon swept over him as he passed out. 

***

The room was empty the next time he woke up. There were straps around his wrists, holding him down to the bed. The same on his legs. He felt calmer than he did the first time he woke up. He didn’t know why he was so calm, considering he was strapped to a bed in what he now realized was a hospital. 

Then the doorknob turned and he tensed. He had no idea who was on the other side of that door, and there was no way he would be able to run from them. He began struggling best he could, trying to get out of the straps that held him down. Machines beeped frantically behind him. 

“Alexander! Alexander! Sweetie! It’s alright! You’re fine!” 

Alex was just aware enough to hear the female voice. He looked up and paused in his fit of panic. He didn’t recognize the young woman, but she looked like a doctor. He took a deep breath in. 

“That’s right sweetie. Take deep breaths,” she said, sitting in the chair beside him. Alex nodded slightly, calming down a bit. She breathed with him until he was calm enough to focus on her completely. 

“I’m Dr. Jackson. I'm one of Martha’s co-workers,” she said with a smile, “I’ve been watching over you these past few hours…”

“Few hours?” Alex asked, remembering it being pretty early in the night when he went into the pond. It was light outside now, “when did I get here?”

“Two days ago…”

“Two days?!” Alex yelled. 

“Yes. Apparently you woke up just before my shift. They had to put you under again,” she said. Alex thought back, racking his brain for remembrance of the encounter. Then it hit him. She saw the look of realization come over his face. 

“Yes. I’m happy to say you’ve stabilized. They weren’t sure that you were,” she said. Alex looked down at the sheets. He knew it was his fault. He knew he had almost died, and what scared him, was that he wasn’t extremely happy that he was alive right now. 

“Anyway,” she continued, “there are some people in the waiting room who want to see you. If you want to. I know last time…” she stopped there and just looked at her clipboard, “a George and Martha Washington, a Lafayette and Mulligan. The nurses have been talking and apparently they all think the two of them are adorable. I may have to go out and take a peek for myself,” 

Alex smiled a little. He was proud to be friends with them no matter how disgusting John found their public displays of affection.

“And a John Laurens…”

“Send him in,” Alex said quickly, his head shooting up to look at her, “please. I mean, if you have the time. You don’t have to! I’m sorry I pushed it! You don’t have to send him in, it’s okay!”

Alex immediately regretted speaking so quickly. He couldn’t determine whether the look on the doctor’s face was anger, confusion, or sympathy. 

“I’ll have someone bring him back,” she said, standing to exit the room. 

“Wait!” Alex said, she looked back at him, “can you...please...um...can you maybe...unstrap me?” he lifted his wrists best he could.

She sat there, contemplating for a moment, “I guess so. I’ll send someone in to take them off,”

With that she exited the room. 

Now having a moment to himself, he looked around the room. He saw his backpack in the corner. That calmed him more, knowing all his stuff was still there. He was slightly disappointed that he didn’t see John’s hoodie in the pile, but it was John’s after all. The boy had probably taken it back. It did belong to him and Alex had no right to steal his hoodies...yet. 

***

“John Laurens,”

George looked up at the male nurse who had called John’s name. John was immediately up out of his chair and across the room. The nurse said something quietly to him before the two disappeared into the back of the hospital. George stood up, wondering why no one had come to talk to him. Martha got up quickly after him. George went up to the desk.

“George. Dear, wait!” Martha tried to stop him, but he had already begun. 

“I’m here for Alexander Hamilton as well,” he said to the lady, “his friend was just called back and no one has come to speak with me about the state of my son,”

“Well, there is a possibility Mr. Washington that Alexander…” the woman began, but George quickly cut her off. 

“I have been sitting there for two days and I have heard next to _nothing_ about his condition. So someone is gonna walk up to me _right_ now and tell me what the fuck is wrong with my son!”

“Mr. Washington!” 

George looked up to see a woman in a white coat holding a clipboard facing the two of them. 

“Oh Mindy, thank god it’s you,” Martha said. This was her hospital after all, and she knew these doctors. Mindy Jackson was her favorite. 

“If you would like to know more about Alexander’s condition, please follow me,” she said. She turned and walked down the hall. She walked into a small room and sat down at a desk. She gestured for George and Martha to sit across from her. 

“When I saw his name I made sure I got him,” Mindy said, “anyway, you both know that Alexander had a severe case of hypothermia, and thankfully it doesn’t seem like there are any after effects,”

“Thank god,” Martha exhaled. Being in the medical field, she knew what hypothermia could cause. 

“However,” Mindy continued, “I am rather concerned about his other injuries,”

“What other injuries?” George asked. 

“You don’t know?” she asked. Both of them shook their heads, “well, he has multiple bruised ribs, all of which could probably be broken, but we wouldn’t know for certain without an x-ray. His lower abdomen is badly bruised. There is also a large bruise on his shoulder, which, to me, looks like it may be a handprint,” she paused, “I know Alexander hasn’t been with you two long, but would you happen to know the...um...conditions, under which he was living before?

“I have no idea,” George said, “were his knuckles bruised?”

“No,” she said, “whatever happened, it didn’t look like he fought back,”

“How old were these injuries? Do you know?” Martha asked. 

“They look to be about a week old, but they were very deep bruises, and have only begun to heal, so I’m not entirely sure on my estimate,” she said. 

“That’s about how long Seabury said he was in the hospital before he came to us,” Martha said to George quietly. George nodded and stood. 

“I don’t know anything about Alex’s life before he came to us,” he said, “but you can bet anything you own that I’m going to find out,”

George left the room. 

***

Alex was staring at the ceiling, patiently waiting for someone to come in and take the straps off the limbs. He was impatiently waiting for John to come into the room. He hoped that the strap person came before John, but he didn’t have any say in that. Then the door handle turned and John walked in.

“Woah. What did you do?” John asked, almost laughing at the restraints. If it were anyone else laughing at him, he would’ve shied away and probably not spoken to anyone, just take what was thrown at him. Or he would fire back with insults painful enough to send a kid home crying. But this was John, so he just let it happen. 

“I tried escaping prison,” Alex joked, John laughed. 

“So you’re a dangerous criminal then?” he asked, keeping up the charade.

“Oh the most dangerous. You probably should stay far away,” Alex made sure there was extra sarcasm in his tone when he made that comment. 

“What if I don’t want to? Is it worth the risk?” John asked, slowly walking towards him. 

“I’ll let you decide,” Alex smiled. John sat down in the chair next to him, laughing a little. He gingerly took Alex’s hand. He tried to pull it closer to him, but the strap around the boy’s wrist kept him from doing so. They met each other’s eyes for a moment then laughed at each other.

“So how are you?” John asked, his laughter dying down. 

“I’m strapped to a bed, how do you think I am?” Alex asked. John could think of a hundred different answers to that question, each with its own separate innuendo. But, since him and Alex weren’t dating...yet, he decided to put his jokes and innuendos aside and go with the safe answer. 

“Probably not so great,” he said. 

“Not really,” Alex replied. Then he decided to take a risk, “it’s better now that you’re here,”

He said it. Outloud. He thought that made his intentions rather clear. John didn’t seem phased by his words at all. He didn’t know if this was good or bad. 

“Speaking of that…” John said, looking at his feet, “I was wondering...um...if...um...when you get out of here...wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?”

“What?” Alex asked. He hadn’t been able to understand the last bit. 

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” John asked with a little more confidence. Alex was taken aback by this request. He had not expected John to be so forward. Hell, he hadn’t expected John to even be _interested_. He saw John looking at him expectantly. 

“Oh! Sorry! Yes! Yes, I’d love to. I'd love to go out with you after I get out,” Alexander replied. John smiled and let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He laughed a little and so did Alex. 

“What’s so funny?” Alex asked. 

“You said yes,” John laughed again, “I just...wasn’t expecting it,”

“Well you should’ve,” Alex said very matter-a-factly. Then the door opened and the same male nurse who had led John back to the room came in and began removing the straps around his arms and legs. Alex freely moved his limbs and sighed, enjoying the pleasure. 

“I think I’m gonna sleep now,” Alex yawned, leaning back against the bed. 

“Do you want me to stay?” John asked. 

“Only if you want to,” Alex replied. 

“Well I want to,” John smiled. 

“Okay then,” Alex smiled and leaned back. 

“Sleep well love,” John raised Alex’s hand to his lips and pressed a light kiss on his knuckles. He held Alex’s one hand in both of his. Alex fell asleep more peacefully than he ever had since coming to America. He felt safe. He felt in love. He felt protected. 

Then he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any people out there stealing my ideas and not giving me credit, please don't do that. That's not nice and it makes me sad. It also kinda makes me not want to write just to spite you so you have to come up with your own ideas.  
> So if you're gonna steal my ideas, at least give me credit. I'm fine if you think my ideas are cool, I'm honored really, I just want credit. Please.  
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is home from the hospital. The Washingtons start investigating Alex's past.

**Chapter 4**

Five day had passed before Alexander was allowed to leave the hospital. He hadn’t had any more panic attacks, and there were no after effects of the hypothermia. No one had question him about the bruised he’d been trying to hide since he arrived at the Washingtons, but it was obvious that everyone knew. His rotating doctors knew. The Washingtons knew. Everyone knew and they treated him differently because of it. They were a little more cautious to approach him. He appreciated that they weren’t all up in his face when checking his temperature or stabbing a needle into his arm, but he also didn’t like people walking around him like he was made of glass. 

John didn’t treat him any differently. John would come to the hospital every day after school and stay until four thirty. The two would usually watch a movie, or John would read to him. Usually whatever book he was reading for school at the time. The two would sit in a comfortable silence and John would usually hold his hand. 

Now he was home, and Martha had taken a few days off of work to take care of him. He had told her not to, that he could take care of himself, but she wouldn’t hear a word of it. He really didn’t need someone fawning over him. There were plenty of times where he had survived taking care of himself. There was one time he got a stomach bug and he had walked home from school and taken care of everything himself. No one had said a word to him at that time, so he didn’t understand why Martha was making a big noisy fuss over it. 

He had spent a day at home and no one had said a word to him about any of his previous injuries. Any fears that he had about them being brought up had faded as the day went on. Until the next day, after George had left for work and Laf had gone to school. Martha sat him down in the living room, asking if they could have a serious discussion. 

He knew what it was about the second she asked. As much as he wanted to run upstairs and hide under his bed, his body wouldn’t move to do so. He only nodded and allowed Martha to lead him into the living room. She sat him down on one sofa and then sat in the arm chair across from him. They sat in silence for just a moment.

“Alex,” she said, “while you were at the hospital, the doctor told us about...um...well, some other injuries she found while examining you,”

He only nodded. He hoped from the bottom of his heart that they had read his file and believed the ‘troubled and unnecessarily violent’ note that was clearly printed on the file. He hoped that she wouldn’t push. He hoped that she believed the lie. 

“Do you have any explanation for those injuries?” Martha asked. Her tone wasn’t confrontational. It was soft and full of concern. Her voice made him want to tell her everything, but he couldn’t tell anyone. It would be worse if he told anyone. 

“Didn’t you read my file?” Alex asked, “it said it all right there. Everything that happened,”

“Yes. I have,” Martha said, “but George and I don’t believe that is entirely true,”

Alex’s head shot up. He regretted the sudden movement the second he did it. That told Martha that she was on to something. 

“It’s okay, sweetie. You can tell me,” Martha said with a soft smile. 

“My file isn’t a lie,” Alex lied, “that’s what happened,”

“But the doctor said you didn’t have any bruises anywhere that indicated that you had fought back,” Martha said, “I can’t imagine you just letting other children beat you up like that,”

“Maybe it was because I deserved it,” Alex replied. 

“Alex, sweetie, no one deserves to be hit. Regardless of the situation,” Martha said sternly. 

“I do!” Alexander said, standing up, “I’m a fucking mess! Honestly. I’m just a burden. I’m surprised George hasn’t started hitting me yet!”

Alex stopped dead. He shouldn’t have said that. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. The look on Martha’s face was all too telling. Her theory was confirmed. She now knew for certain his file was a lie. She now knew that he wasn’t just beat up behind the school. 

“Alexander,” she said calmly, “you are not a mess. You are not a burden, and George would _never_ hit you,”

“I have to go,” Alex said. His hands were shaking, and he could barely keep his breathing under control. His mind was too foggy for him to think about it. They suspected something. They might out. They could _tell someone_. He got up and almost ran towards the stairs, not waiting for Martha to say anything else. Although it was tiring, he took the stairs two at a time and ran down the hall to his room, slamming the door shut. 

***

Alex sat at his desk writing in his journal about his week in the hospital. He wrote about the Washingtons. He wrote about the doctors. He wrote about John. Oh John. He could fill an entire notebook with just things written about John. From poetry to prose, Alex could go on and on and on about the boy. 

Then there was a knock at the door. Alex quickly put his pen in his notebook and shoved it into his backpack. He went over to his door and unlocked it. He opened it and smiled when he saw John on the other side. 

“Hey,” John smiled.

“Hi,” Alex responded. The two just stared at each other for a moment before Alex spoke again, “um. What are you doing here?” he paused, “not that I don’t want you here! I do! Just...like...why?” 

“Oh, um, Laf drove me here. Said that you wanted to see me,” John replied. 

“Well, I never told them that,” Alex said, “but they weren’t wrong,”

John laughed. 

“Where are they anyway?” Alex asked, peering down the hallway. 

“Oh they went home with Herc,” John said with a wink. Both of them laughed, “that’s what they told me to tell you. Wink included,”

“Wow. Okay then,” Alex said. Then he realized they were still standing in the doorway, “come in! Sorry we’re still standing here,”

“It’s no problem,” John said, walking past Alex and into the room. He closed the door and followed John. He dropped his backpack in the corner next to Alex’s. Alex sat down in one of the bean bag chairs under the window. John sat in the chair next to him. 

“So how was your day?” Alex asked. 

“It was alright,” John replied, “I almost got in a fight,”

“What did he do?” Alex asked. 

“What?” John looked at him. 

“What did the other guy to do you? He obviously did something to warrant you wanting to punch him,” Alex met his eye.

“Well you aren’t wrong,” John said softly, glancing down at Alex’s lips. The two sat in silence for a moment just staring at each other, John occasionally sneaking a glance down at Alex’s lips. 

“So what did he do?” Alex asked, sitting back. John snapped out of his trance. 

“He...um...he said that...um...he said that you were just here as a political ploy,” John said, staring at his feet. 

“Oh,” Alexander said softly. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind before. He knew that George was a politician, but there really wasn’t an evidence that proved George needed a boost in his career. He wasn’t running for any position as far as he knew. He felt Laf would’ve told him about something like that considering how talkative they were. 

“But we all know you’re not,” John said quickly, “he’s just an asshole taking low blows at us. He really really doesn’t like us. A lot of people don’t like us,”

“Laf mentioned that,” Alex said, not looking up from the ground. 

“Yeah. Mainly because we live in the south and none of us our straight,” John said, “I understand if you don’t wanted to be hated. And want to go find other friends once you start school,”

“No. I wouldn’t do that,” Alex replied, “I’m used to being hated. I usually don’t ever have friends. And I like the friends I have,”

Alex looked John in the eye which made a bright red blush begin to creep up his cheeks. Alex laughed a little. 

“Have you ever watched Daredevil?” John asked suddenly. Alex shook his head. 

“Oh you are in for a treat my friend,” John smiled and got up. He pulled his laptop from his backpack and came back over, sitting a little closer to Alex than before. 

“This show has everything,” John said, “it is my absolute favorite show. It’s part of a series of shows all building up to one…”

Alex didn’t really comprehend what John was saying. He was more focused on John’s face. How excited he was, how much his arms moved when he spoke, trying to convey as much information as he could as quickly as possible. John looked at him and stopped speaking. 

“What?” John asked, smiling. 

“Nothing,” Alex replied, still smiling, “you just. I don’t know. You look...cute when you’re passionate,”

“Aww thanks,” John said, wrapping his arm around Alex, “oh my god, Alex are you cold?!”

“A little,” Alex replied, “but I’m fine,”

“Please,” John placed his laptop on the ground before pulling off his hoodie and handing it to Alexander, “put this on,”

“Um. Okay,” Alex wouldn’t tell anyone, but he was secretly happy to put John’s hoodie back in. It made him feel safe and protected. He felt closer to John. 

John had definitely overreacted to the temperature of Alex’s skin. It was cold, but it wasn’t ice. He had just overreacted so he could offer Alex his hoodie because he looked absolutely adorable in it. 

John sat back on the beanbag chair, pulling his laptop back onto his lap. He pressed play, and the show began playing. Alex scooted a little closer to John, watching intently. He waited for a moment, taking in a small breath as the episode began. Hesitantly, Alex let his head rest on John’s broad shoulder. John smiled and put his arm over Alex’s shoulder, pulling the boy closer. This was what John had wanted since he laid eyes on Alexander. 

***

“Did you find anything?” Martha asked emerging from her library when she heard George enter his office. 

“Nothing. Again,” he said, flopping down in his chair. Martha sighed, sitting on the tiny couch in the corner. 

“Not even a name?” she asked. 

“Not even a name!” he slammed his fists on the desk, “I’ve been at this for a week. Child protection services won’t answer my phone calls, and if they do, his caseworker is never available to talk to me,”

“You could take a trip up there,” Martha said, “can you get away anytime this week?”

“I don’t think so,” George said, taking his phone out. He checked his calendar, “I don’t. There is no way I can get away this week,”

“I have off tomorrow,” Martha told him. 

“Martha, You can’t. Someone has to stay home with Alex,” George said. 

“You can work from home can’t you?” Martha asked. 

“I...I can, but do you really want to leave him at home with me? In case you haven’t noticed, he’s _terrified_ of me,” George said, a little nervous laughter escaping his mouth. 

“I’ll explain it to him,” she said, “I’ll say something about a sister or someone having a baby and I’ll be gone for the day. He’ll only be alone with you for the six or seven hours Laf’s at school,”

“Martha this is a bad idea,” he said, “if I recall, he ended up almost _dying_ because of me,”

“How else are we supposed to get this information?” Martha asked, walking over to her husband. She began rubbing his shoulders, “we need to open his investigation and close it before you announce your candidacy. The next two years are going to be busy, and the more things we can wrap up before they start the better,”

George sighed, leaning into his wife’s touch, “you’re right. You should tell him,” 

“Okay. Can you drive John home while I talk to him?” Martha asked. George nodded and stood from his desk. The two left his office and walked towards Alex’s room. 

***

Alex tensed when he heard the knock. 

“John! George is going to take you home,” Martha called. 

“Okay!” John said, standing up, “see you later, Alex,”

“Bye John,” Alex smiled and watched him leave the room. As John walked out of the room, Martha walked in.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Martha asked. Alex nodded. He knew what was coming. They were going to get rid of him. The Washingtons probably thought it was kind to not kick him out while he was at the hospital. It sounded like a nice thought, but he wished they hadn’t given him false hope. He wished they hadn’t given him a chance to get attached to John. He wished he hadn’t gotten attached to John. 

Martha pulled out his desk chair and sat down in it. 

“Can I please keep some of the stuff,” Alex asked, head in between his knees. 

“What?” Martha looked at him.

“When you send me away,” Alex said, looking at her, “can I at least keep some of the clothes?”

“What? Alex, we’re not sending you away,” Martha slid off the chair and onto the floor so she was at his level. 

“You’re not?” Alex asked, hints of a smile on his face.

“Of course not sweetie!” Martha said softly, “we’re never going to send you away. Unless, that is, you want to go,”

“NO! No. I want to stay,” Alex said. 

“Good. I think John would be rather disappointed if you didn’t,” she smiled. Alex laughed. 

“Anyway, I came in to tell you that I’m not going to be here tomorrow so George is going to stay home with you...,” she said.

“ _What_?” Alex asked. No. Martha couldn’t leave him here with George. That’s how it started with the Eakers. Mrs. Eaker had left him alone with Mr. Eaker and that’s when it happened, at least the first time. His breathing began to speed up. He began counting, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

“Alex! Sweetie! Calm down,” Martha said, her hand was on his back, “take deep breaths sweetie. There you go,”

Alex looked a deep breath then looked at Martha. 

“I’m sorry, Alex. But my sister just had her baby prematurely,” Martha lied, “they’re not sure if the baby will make it, and she wants me to be there,”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Alex said. Martha’s problems were much bigger than his. He didn’t deserve her sympathies. 

“No it’s okay,” Martha smiled weakly. 

“Where does your sister live?” Alex asked. 

“South Carolina,” Martha replied. She hated the fact that she had to lie, but her and George weren’t ready to tell Alex they were digging into his past. A past that he clearly didn’t want discovered, “I should only be gone the day. Should be back later tomorrow night,”

Alex only nodded.

“Alexander,” Martha said, saying his full name got his attention, “George will not come anywhere _near_ you unless you ask him to. Okay?”

“Okay,” Alex said.

“And I’m gonna make sure that Laf comes straight home after school tomorrow. And I’m sure he’ll bring John with him,” Martha smiled then stood, “okay. Since you’ll most likely be having takeout tomorrow night with George, I’m gonna go find something to cook,”

Alex nodded and watched her leave the room. The second she was gone he got up and locked the door. He went back to his desk and pulled out his notebook and continued writing. 

***

“So Jack,” Henry spoke in the middle of dinner, “have you met the Washington’s new stray yet?”

His father’s word set his teeth on edge, “I haven’t. He hasn’t been in school yet,” John replied. He lightly pressed down on Martha’s foot when she smirked. She immediately got the hint and continued eating. 

“Still?” Henry asked, putting his fork down. John nodded, ignoring the fact that his father stopped eating, “that’s a little odd, don’t you think?”

“I asked Laf,” John said. Henry groaned at the mention of them. John stabbed his food with a little more force than necessary, “and they said that there was a complication when he came into the house,”

“What kind of complication?” Henry asked. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask,” John replied. 

“Well, ask tomorrow,” Henry said firmly. John looked up at his father for the first time during the meal.

“Okay,” John said. There was attitude in his voice. Henry opened his mouth to say something, when they heard crying from upstairs. Mary Eleanor was in her crib crying. John and Martha made eye contact with each other. John immediately got up and went upstairs to take care of baby. He couldn’t thank her enough for the convenience of her crying. He picked her up and began bouncing her and he moved her to the changing table. 

“Thank you,” John said softly to her before setting her down on the changing table.

***

“Martha, I don’t know if I can do this,” George said while the two were laying in bed. 

“Do what?” she asked, rolling over to face him. 

“Stay home with Alex tomorrow,” he said. 

“You’re both going to be fine,” Martha said, “I told him that you wouldn’t come near him unless he wanted you to,”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean...I’m nervous that, like, I don’t know, my footsteps will scare him,” he said, “the poor kid is so skittish,”

“I know,” Martha said, sighing, “and that’s why I’m going up there. So we can find out why and get him some help,”

“I know,” he said softly. 

“You two will be fine,” Martha said, “if it’s really bad, go get Laf or John from school,”

“Okay,” he said, kissing her lightly. He sighed and leaned against her chest. 

“You’re gonna be fine,” she said softly, “you’re both gonna be fine,”

***

**From John(10:56 pm):** Are you free Friday night?

Alex smiled. John actually texted him. He never thought it would happen. He set his pen down and answered.

**to John(10:57 pm):** Why?

**From John(10:58 pm):** I asked you out on a date didn’t I? I’d like to take you on that date.

Alexander smiled.

**To John(10:59 pm):** Yeah I’m free. It’s not like there are people lining up to hang out with me.

**From John(10:59 pm):** I am ;)

**To John(11:00 pm):** I know you are ;)

**From John(11:01 pm):** So I’ll pick you up at 7 on Friday? I know this place that serves the best food. I haven’t been there in ages. 

**To John(11:02 pm):** Yeah that works. 

**From John(11:02 pm):** Great. I’ll see you tomorrow then? After school?

**To John(11:03 pm):** Yeah. After school.  
**To John(11:03 pm):** Goodnight John

**From John(11:04 pm):** Goodnight Alexander  <3

**To John(11:05 pm):** <3

Alex laid back on his bed and sighed. He had a big, stupid grin on his face that he couldn’t seem to stop. Maybe he might actually sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Angelica Schuyler. John has a sneaky plan. Alex stays home alone with George.

**Chapter 5**

John sat in his art class, enjoying the silence that surrounded him. He loved that class. It was a break in his day where he didn’t have to focus on anything in particular and he could let his mind wander as a pencil moved across a piece of paper. Today, being that it was Thursday, his mind had wandered to Alexander. He was actually taking him out, _on a date_ , tomorrow night. He wanted to pinch himself, the situation was too perfect. Nothing this amazing would ever happen to him. He knew his father would find a way to fuck it all up. He always did. He silently cursed his father, then went back to thinking about Alex. 

He felt a pair of eyes staring at him. He looked up to see Laf smirking at him. John gave them a questioning look before both went back to looking at their own work. John would’ve questioned them there, but the room was completely silent and he had a feeling that he wouldn’t want the conversation they would have to be overheard. 

So the second the bell rang and the people around them all started speaking at once, John joined them. 

“Why were you staring at me?” John asked. 

“You were staring off into outer space,” Laf replied, “I can only imagine that you were thinking about our little Alexander,”

“I might’ve been,” John said, trying to hide his blush. Laf only smirked before letting his eyes wander the halls in search of their boyfriend. 

“Actually,” John continued, “I’ve been meaning to ask something of you,”

“ _Oui_ , what is it?” Laf asked. 

“I’m taking Alex to this really nice place, and, well, I don’t know if he has anything nice to wear, so if you could…”

“Of course, _mon ami_ ,” they said, cutting him off, “I will dress Alex up for your date and he will look so attractive that you will not be able to close your mouth when you see him,”

“I’m counting on it,” John smiled. Then Laf spotted Herc and went running down the hall, nearly knocking some freshmen over. John chuckled before walking to his locker and opening it. When he closed it he jumped, seeing Angelica Schuyler leaning on the other side. 

“So,” she said, “I hear you have a very attractive date,”

“Word travels that fast, huh?” John smirked before walking down the hall, Angelica followed. 

“No. I just have chem with Laf. They don’t shut up,” Angelica said.

“Don’t worry. I know,” John said, “that’s mainly why I decided to actually ask my very attractive date out in the first place,”

“So tell me about him,” Angelica smiled. 

“Well, I honestly don’t know all that much myself,” John said, “his name is Alexander, he’s very closed off, but he’s incredibly smart. A little hot headed too when he gets pissed off,”

“Aww he’s perfect for you!” Angelica smiled. John laughed. 

“Actually, um, I have a favor to ask you,” John said cautiously. 

“Shoot,” Angelica said, stopping and leaning next to the door of the classroom she would have to enter in less than a minute. 

“I would really appreciate it if you would be my fake girlfriend,” John said. 

“You’re who what now?” Angelica asked, standing up straight. 

“Well, I need an excuse to be out of the house a lot, and I can’t come out to my father. And since you don’t want to come out, I think we’d be a perfect fake match,” he deliberately left out the part where his father would be absolutely elated if he went out with one of the Schuylers, especially the oldest one, given her status in the political community. 

“And your father would absolutely _love_ it if I was going out with you,” Angelica said. John sighed. He should’ve known she would be smart enough to figure it out. He wanted to slap himself sometimes when he underestimated her intelligence. 

“He would love it,” John said, defeated. Angelica nodded. 

“I’ll do it,” she said, “but _only_ if you get the okay from Alexander first. Make sure he is okay with us fake dating in public to hide your real relationship,”

“We wouldn’t have to fake date in public. We just have to tell people…” John said, but Angelica cut him off. 

“John, sweetie, if we want to make this convincing, we have to uphold a public relationship. You’re going to have to kiss me in public and stuff. Maybe actually take me out on a few dates to make it convincing,”

“But…” John tried, but Angelica held up her hand.

“We go to school with Thomas Jefferson,” she said, “he has as much pull in the political community right now as I do. He knows as many people who know other people who know _your father_ as I do. We need to make this convincing. So you need to get Alexander’s okay before I agree to anything,” the bell rang, “and I want to meet him before I agree to this as well. He needs to tell me personally that he is okay with it,”

“Okay,” John said. Angelica smiled before turning into her classroom. John joined the crowds of students running down the hall to their classrooms. He got to his room and took his usual spot in the back. He took out his phone. 

**To Alex <3(1:30 pm):** Mind if I stop by after school?

**From Alex <3(1:30 pm):** When have I ever minded? :)

**To Alex <3(1:31 pm):** Great. See you then 

**From Alex <3(1:32 pm):** Just gonna leave me like that?

 **To Alex <3(1:33 pm):** I would love to text you until the moment I see your face, but unfortunately, I have an in class essay starting in about two minutes

 **From Alex <3(1:34 pm):** Aww :(. Good luck 

**To Alex <3(1:34 pm):** Thanks  
**To Alex <3(1:34 pm):** <3

 **From Alex <3(1:35 pm):** <3

***

Alex smiled as his put his phone down. He looked at the notebook he was writing in. He had pretty much caught up on his writing. He had been writing since he woke up this morning, and had managed to write everything up to and including the events of the previous night. He had made a vow to himself pretty early on in his writing that he would never write what happened that day on the day itself. He wanted to let the information process, so that he could determine his true feelings about what happened. He also wanted to make sure he left out irrelevant details that seemed relevant at the time, but he had forgotten about the next day. So he would let at least twenty four hours pass before he wrote about anything. 

His day had been pretty uneventful anyway. George had stayed true on his promise of not coming anywhere near him. Even so, Alex kept his door locked. One could never be too safe. The only contact he had had with George all day was the note that man had slid under his door before he had woken up. It read:

_Alexander,_

_Like Martha told you last night, I won’t come anywhere near you unless you ask. I should stay in my office all day if you need anything. I’ll head downstairs around noon for lunch. If you want anything, I’ll make it for you. Otherwise, you have the house to yourself until Gilbert comes home._

_George_

Alex had really appreciated the note. So much so, that he tucked it into his notebook in between a page he had written on and a clean page. 

He hadn’t left his room at all. He had taken a shower when he had woken up. He had stopped washing his clothes himself when Martha had told him they had a laundry service come pick up their clothes, and she has insisted he use it. Now his clothes went into the hamper just inside his walk in closet, which was slowly filling. He was still uncomfortable with the fact that he owned enough clothes to nearly fill the whole thing. Then he had sit down and written for a few hours. He wasn’t hungry the entire time, so there was no reason for him to leave his room. 

Now that Alex had finished writing, he realized that he was a little hungry. The Washingtons were determined to get him into a routine of eating three full meals a day. Most of the time, he managed to eat three meals. The meals were nowhere near full, but he was getting into the habit of eating. It was strange for him to feel hungry, especially after eating the night before. 

So he went to the door and unlocked it. He stepped into the hallway and looked around. Sure enough, there was no one to be found. He walked towards the stairs, wearing John’s sweater to protect him from anything the house may throw at him. In the back of his mind, he knew it would do absolutely nothing if something were to actually happen, but he still felt safer wearing it. 

He had tried to keep himself from thinking of everything that could go wrong today while he was alone in the house with George. Up until this point, he had been doing a pretty good job at it. Then a rogue thought slipped through the cracks of his mental block, and he started thinking, _what if George was waiting for him in the kitchen?_

What if George had just put on a show by writing the note and promising Martha and him that he wouldn’t come anywhere near him? What if George had waited until he got hungry, which would force him to come to the kitchen, and that’s when he would strike? George was in the army for some time, there had to be at least one time when he had to just sit and starve someone out. This probably wasn’t unfamiliar territory for him. He stopped halfway down the stairs, terrified by the thought. 

Alex pushed it out of his mind. He was supposed to be trusting the Washingtons. Everyone had told him the Washingtons were good people. Everyone had told him he could trust the Washingtons. He wanted to, he really did. Everything everyone had told him seemed to be true, but he just couldn’t bring himself to believe it. He trusted the Lees and that turned out to be a disaster. It had taken a little longer, but he trusted the Eakers as well, then that turned out to be even worse. If the Washingtons were to follow the same pattern, he didn’t know if he would be able to handle it. If that point were to ever come, he knew he’d take the easier way out. That option had always floated around in his mind, but he had never thought it was worth it. He knew now that if it did get worse, it would be worth it. He couldn’t take anymore abuse. If the Washingtons ended up turning out like the others, he knew his story would end. 

He turned and walked back to his room. He needed to plan for the worst, and he needed to do so now. If George _was_ in fact waiting for him in the kitchen, he needed to be prepared. He closed his door and locked it. He went over to his desk and grabbed one of the notebooks he was supposed to use for school. He tore out a page and began writing. 

_John,_

 _If you’re reading this, it means that everything you told me about the Washingtons is wrong. It means that they have followed the trends of my previous homes, and it has never been worse. There was really no other option for me. It needed to end before it got really bad. I couldn’t take anymore abuse. I’m too worn down from it already. I know this may be sudden and out of the blue, but know that I am sorry. I didn’t want to leave you, I really didn’t. You were the one thing that almost convinced me to stay._  
If you want to know the full story, look in my backpack. There are four journals inside, detailing the hell that has been my life. You’ll understand why I did what I did when you read them. You’ll understand why I couldn’t take anymore.  
John Laurens, please know that I love you. What I feel for you is different than anything that I have felt for anyone in my entire life. You are so special. Please please please _know that none of this is your fault. This is entirely me. It’s the cliche ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, and that’s because it is. In a perfect world, we would be together for ever and ever and I would get to stare into your eyes all day while wearing your sweaters and just enjoy life with you, but this isn’t a perfect world. This world is a fucking bitch who has forced me to leave you. I truly had no other option._  
If you really love me like I love you, please do me one favor. Please move on. You deserve to be happy, and if there is another place for me to go, know that I’ll be watching, and I will be begging you to just take life for what it is and be happy. So please John, be happy. Don’t reminisce on what could’ve been. You don’t even need to remember me. Just move on and be happy. 

_I will always love you John Laurens,_  
Sincerely yours,  
Alexander Hamilton 

He folded the letter and wrote John’s name on the outside. He left it sitting on his desk. If nothing happened, he’d be back in enough time for him to hide it away somewhere, so he wouldn’t scare anyone. Then he stood and prepared himself to go to the kitchen. If this was going to happen, he might as well not delay the inevitable. He exited his room and managed to make it all the way down the stairs. He entered the kitchen, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he discovered it was empty. He began wandering around, trying to remember where the Washingtons kept their bread. He finally found it. He placed it on the island in the middle of the kitchen then went into the fridge for some lunch meat. The difficult part was getting a plate. 

They were on the top shelf. Since everyone who lived in the Washington house was almost or more than six feet tall, it didn’t matter to them. But when tiny, little Alexander Hamilton wanted a plate, he was absolutely hopeless. 

He was glad he wasn’t able to reach the plate, because when he turned around, he definitely would’ve dropped it. George was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. It was strange to see the man in sweatpants. He had such a presence about him that he looked strange in sweatpants. George had obviously seen Alex jump because he quickly back up, unblocking the door. Alex realized he was freaking out and his breathing had begun speeding up. He began counting, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_.

George didn’t speak. Alex knew he was waiting for an invitation from him to speak. Alex exhaled and looked at the plate cabinet, then back at George. George didn’t move, so Alex knew he was going to have to speak. 

“Um. Could you...get me a plate?” Alex asked, moving away from the plate cabinet. 

“Of course!” George smiled. Alex almost smiled as well. The man seemed so happy that Alex has actually spoke to him. George put the plate on the island at Alex’s sandwich making station. 

“I could make your sandwich for you, if you want,” George offered. Alex considered the offer carefully. The man only meant well, and he seemed really happy when Alex interacted with him. It couldn’t do any harm, right? Right. Alex nodded. George smiled and opened the bread bag. 

“So...um...what exactly do you do?” Alex asked, “like for a living,”

“I’m a senator,” George replied, not looking up from the sandwich, “I sit around and modify and approve or disprove laws,” 

“That sounds interesting,” Alex said, “what are you working on right now?”

“An LGBT rights bill,” George said, “the House wants us to try and make a better non-discrimination law, to prevent issues like what arose in North Carolina involving the bathrooms,”

Alex nodded, very intrigued. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think it will pass,” George said, “although the House approved it, I don’t think the senate will. The House is younger, more liberal. Most of the young people new to politics run to be a House representative, since the term is only two years. Whereas senators are usually the more experienced, older ones. So as you can imagine, the Senate is older and more conservative. I was one of the few people willing to work on the bill, although some people tried to stop me,”

“Who tried to stop you?” Alex asked. 

“Henry Laurens,” George replied. 

“John’s father?” Alex asked. George nodded, “how did he even get elected? I don’t hear the greatest things about him from his own son,”

“While I’m very liberal, he’s _very_ conservative. My theory is the population wanted a nice balance,” George replied, “Henry believed I was too close to the issue, given Laf’s lifestyle,”

“And mine,” Alex said, before he can stop himself. His eyes widened as he looked up at George. 

“I’m sorry?” George asked kindly, handing him the finished sandwich. Alex sighed, there was no getting out of this now.

Alex closed his eyes, “I’m going on a date with John Laurens tomorrow night,” 

“That’s wonderful!” George smiled, putting the bread away, “you both deserve to be happy,”

“You’re not mad?” Alex asked. He realized how stupid his question was after he asked it. George laughed and Alex joined him. 

“No. I’m not mad,” George said very matter-a-factly, “I think I would probably be a pretty big hypocrite if I was,”

“Probably,” Alex smiled. This felt natural. He didn’t feel afraid anymore. He was actually enjoying himself. 

“Do you want to go sit in the lounge?” George asked, “I feel that would be a little more comfortable if you want to finish this conversation,”

“Sure,” Alex stood up and grabbed his sandwich. He waited for a moment for George to start walking. George got the hint quickly and began walking. Alex followed. 

***

Alex and George were so deep into conversation, it was the only thing that matter to them at the moment. Alex completely forgot about the note he had left on his desk. George had completely forgotten about his wife’s search into Alex’s past. 

They were so engrossed in conversation, they didn’t hear the front door open. They didn’t hear the footsteps of a boy who was nervous that he was about to ruin his first date. They didn’t hear him walking up the stairs, and the boy didn’t hear them talking. 

It was a recipe for disaster. 

***

John was surprised when Alex’s bedroom door was opened. He was even more surprised when Alex wasn’t in it. Usually, Alex didn’t leave his room. This was strange. John would’ve begun to search the house if his eye hadn’t caught the piece of paper on Alex’s desk. 

John walked over to the desk and looked down at the paper. It had his name on it. He opened it, and read it carefully. He barely had time to comprehend what he had read. All he knew is that he needed to find Alex, and he needed to find him _now_. He hoped he could stop him if he was quick enough. He dropped his backpack and ran out of the bedroom. 

***

“ALEX! ALEX!”

Both Alex and George looked towards the sound of the voice. George looked at Alex, both were just as confused as the other. Alex stood up and exited the room first. He entered the kitchen and saw John standing in the living room. The two locked eyes. Alex couldn’t read the expression on the boy’s face. John just took off running across the house and nearly tackled Alex to the ground when he wrapped his arms around him. 

Alex cautiously wrapped his arms around John. He heard a sob escape the boy’s throat. 

“I thought you were dead,” John said softly. Alex rubbed his back soothingly. 

“Well, I’m not,” Alex said. John choked out a laugh and pulled away. 

“I noticed,” he smiled through the tears. 

“Why would you think I was dead?” Alex asked. John held up the note and Alex’s eyes widened. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” Alex said, “I completely forgot about that. That was a worse case scenario...I’m sorry,”

“That wasn’t nice,” John pouted, pulling Alex into another hug.

“I know. I’m an ass,” Alex said, cautiously running his fingers through John’s hair. John let a few more sobs out before he began to calm down. Alex looked over and saw George standing in the doorway. The man gestured towards the staircase, which Alex assumed as an invitation for him to move upstairs.

“Wanna go upstairs?” Alex asked. John nodded so Alex wrapped his arm around John’s waist, and the two walked up the stairs. Alex closed the door and locked it. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, “I...I don’t know what happened...I was going to get food and, like this scenario just popped into my head, and I wanted to make sure I was prepared…”

“It’s fine, Alexander,” John said, wiping his tears. Alex felt guilty, but it did make what John had come to ask him seem a hell of a lot less scary. 

“Why don’t I take that,” Alex said cautiously, taking the note from John. He folded it and put it in his pocket. John pretended not to noticed that Alex had put it in his pocket and not in the garbage. 

“So. Alex...I have to, um, ask you something,” John said.

“Okay,” Alex said, sitting down in one of the bean bag chairs. John sat next to him. 

“So. My father doesn’t know that I’m gay, and he’s pretty strict about rules. Like, unless the outing has been ‘approved’ by him, I’m not even allowed to go,”

“How do you come over here every day then?” Alex asked. 

“My father thinks I stay at school doing homework until I’m required to be home at five,” John replied, “anyway, there are people at school who know people who know my father. And, so, if we do end up going out, wouldn’t be able to like, hold hands or anything anywhere around town or at school. We’re going out of town for dinner tomorrow night, and I’m assuming that will become the norm,”

“I’m fine with that,” Alex said, “I’m not exactly the most ‘out’ person ever, so I don’t mind people not knowing I’m gay, or that we’re going out,”

“That’s not the bad part,” John said. Alex furrowed his brow. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Well, in order for my father to ‘approve’ the outing, I’ll have to be going on a date with a girl. And there’s this girl, Angelica Schuyler, who is super gay. Her father is the Governor. The two of us would have to maintain a public relationship in order to fool everyone we’re trying to fool. Would you be okay with this?” John asked, holding his breath. 

Alex thought for a moment, “I think I’m fine with it,” he said, “but I honestly don’t know. I really do like you John,” he had told John that he loved him in the note, but he wasn’t quite ready to say it outloud yet. He continued, “I want to go out with you. In my head I’m okay with this situation, but I’m just not sure,”

“That’s okay,” John said, “we can try it out, and if it doesn’t work, we can try something else. And if that doesn’t work...well, I’d rather not think about that,”

“Me either,” Alex replied, “one flaw in your plan though. If Angelica is ‘super gay’, won’t people know that the relationship is fake?”

“She’s as ‘out’ as me,” John said, “Angelica and I are the two ‘straight’ ones in our group of friends. I haven’t come out at school because there are people at school who hate me and would absolutely _love_ to see my life ruined. These people can easily get in contact with my father, which would effectively ruin my life. Angelica hasn’t told anyone because she’s interning at the White House, and she feels if she does come out, it’ll hinder her political career,”

“So no one knows you two are gay?” Alex asked. 

“Just Herc, Laf, Angelica, her two younger sisters and the Washingtons,” John said. Alex nodded. 

“Okay then,” Alex said, “let’s try this,”

“Great,” John said. He looked at his watch, “the thing with Angelica, is that she’s a really good person. She wants to hear from you personally that you are okay with this whole thing. So do you want to take a ride?”

“Uh. Sure,” Alex said. 

“Great,” John smiled, “I’m gonna text Angelica and tell her we’re gonna come over in like twenty minutes. But right now, I’m just gonna sit here and cuddle with you because I’m still a little shaken from early,”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said again. 

“Don’t apologize,” John said, scooting closer, “just let me hug you,”

***

Twenty five minutes later, they pulled up in front of the governor’s mansion. Angelica was waiting for them outside. She had agreed to meet them, but only for a short time. Her father had guests that night and all three girls were expected to be present at dinner. 

John got out of the car, and Alexander hesitantly followed. Angelica smiled as the two approached her. 

“Hi, you must be Alexander,” Angelica smiled, extending her hand, “I’m Angelica,”

“Hi,” Alex said, shaking her hand, “you can just call me Alex,”

“Sure,” she said, “I’m sorry to be blunt but I have to go get ready in about five minutes,” she turned to Alex, “are you okay with me being John’s fake girlfriend?”

“I think so,” Alex said, “I can’t see myself having a problem with it, but I never know what I’m going to feel in the moment,”

“Understandable,” Angelica said, “so I guess we’ll try it and see how it goes?”

“I guess so,” Alex smiled. John gave Angelica a strange look. 

“That was very un-Angelica,” he said with a smirk. 

“Well, I had to impress my fake boyfriend’s boyfriend,” she turned to Alexander, “you’ll see the real bitchy side of me soon enough,”

Alex laughed. 

“Sorry to cut this short,” Angelica said, “but I have to run. I have to kiss up baby boomers in about an hour,”

“Good luck,” both the boys said. 

“Thanks,” she turned and went back inside. John and Alex walked back towards his car. The two got in and drove off. 

***

John walked into his house fifteen minutes before dinner. The house was quiet, which meant his father was home. This was the perfect time to ask him. He looked around the house, hoping to find him watching TV instead of working. That would make this conversation a little easier. 

John found him in the living room, staring at the TV. John walked in slowly before placing his backpack down on the ground. He looked at his father. 

“Do you have a minute?” John asked. His father looked at him then back at the entertainment center. 

“Yes,” Henry replied. 

“Great,” John didn’t bother sitting down, “I have a date tomorrow night,” 

“Really?” this got Henry’s attention. John knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that if John was dating a politician's daughter, he could somehow find a way to further his own career. 

“With who?” Henry asked. 

“Angelica Schuyler,” he replied. He mentally celebrated when he saw the smile on his father’s face. This was going to be easy as pie. 

“You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Jack,” Henry smiled, “take my credit card. Take her out somewhere really nice, and for the love of god, _do not_ drive her away,”

“Can do,” John said, grabbing his bag and walking towards the stairs, “see you at dinner,”

“Yup,” Henry leaned back in the couch and continued watching TV. 

When John got to his room he went to his contacts. He sighed as he changed ‘Alex  <3’ to ‘Alex’ and ‘Angelica’ to ‘Angie <3 <3’. His father regularly went through his phone, so he has established a ‘no texting about gay things’ rule with his friends. At the moment, this didn’t apply to Alexander. Henry still didn’t know John had met him, so if he just deleted the messages, his father wouldn’t suspect a thing. 

He sent a quick text to Angelica, telling her it was okay for her to tell her father about their ‘date’ the following evening. He told her he would come pick her up then drop her off Herc’s, where her younger sisters would join her. Then he would pick her up from Herc’s and drop her back off at her house when him and Alex were done. It was an easily enough plan, and John only hoped it worked. 

Then he went to Martha’s room. He felt terrible because she had been taking care of the baby almost non-stop since Alexander had been in the hospital. He had tried to pick up his slack, but it was hard. Martha told him that she didn’t mind, that it was for his romantic endeavors, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty. 

“How are things?” he asked as he entered the room. 

“Manageable,” she replied, “the room is baby-proofed enough that I can do homework while she just crawls around on the floor and plays,”

“I’m really sorry,” John said, picking up the baby. He sat down the bed and began bouncing her on his knee. 

“Stop apologizing, Jack,” Martha said, “I really don’t mind. The boys are practically taking care of themselves now. I just need to change and feed her every once and awhile,”

“I still feel guilty,” John said. 

“Well don’t,” she said, “you’ll make up for it someday. I know you will,” 

“I will,” John said, “anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I’m fake dating Angelica Schuyler,”

“What?” Martha asked rather loudly. John quickly shushed her. 

“Sorry,” she said, “but what about Alex?”

“I need some way to get dad to let me leave the house,” John said, “Alex is okay with it. In dad’s eyes I’m dating Angelica. In just about everyone’s eyes I’ll be dating Angelica. It’s for the best,” 

“And Alex is okay with this?” she asked.

“He thinks he is,” John said, “we’re gonna try it. But you should’ve seen the look on dad’s face when I told him. He looked so excited I thought he might give me a hug,”

Martha laughed. The two stopped immediately when they heard the dinner bell. 

“Goddammit I hate that thing,” John said. 

“Me too,” Martha agreed. John stood and put Mary Eleanor into her playpen before leaving the room. The two of them hated leaving her upstairs, but they really had no other choice. They stopped at the bathroom to wash up and then they went downstairs, a little happier than usual, given their father’s apparent good mood.

***

Martha returned late that night. Alex and Laf had already turned in for the night. George was sitting in the living room watching TV, waiting for his wife to come home. She entered the house and easily collapsed on the couch next to her husband. 

“Driving to and from New York in a day is really tiring,” she said.

“How’d it go?” George asked, muting the TV. 

“Oh it went fine, after waiting for three hours,” she said. Seabury was always ‘too busy’ to talk to me. No one else was ‘authorized’ to give me the information. I ended up marching into his office, and guess what I found,”

“What did you find, my dear?” he asked. 

“I found him, in his office, in one of the interns,” Martha said. 

“Oh god!” George sounded appalled, “how old is that man?”

“I don’t even want to know,” Martha buried her head into her husband’s chest, “I swear to god, if you become president we are fixing child protection services,”

“Absolutely,” he said, “anyway, did you get what we needed?”

“Yes. After I threatened to report him for pedophilia, even though ‘she’s eighteen! It’s totally legal’” she imitated Alex’s caseworker. 

“What’d you get?” he asked. 

“Unfortunately not much more than we already have,” Martha said, “I got another copy of Alex’s file and his medical records. I did get names and profiles on both of the families he stayed with before us,”

“That’s something to go on,” George said, “a lot of people owe me favors, and have owed me favors since I was in the army. I’m sure I can cash in on some of them now,”

“Will you be okay with that?” Martha asked, she knew how George felt about taking advantage of his position of power. 

“Yes. I’d absolutely be okay with that,” George said, “if I’m going to run for president, I have to be okay with it. People are messed up, Martha, especially in politics, and we haven’t even seen the worse of them yet,”

“George,” Martha said, sitting up, “promise me you’re still going to be the same man in two years,”

George smiled. He was wondering when Martha would bring this up. Campaigns changed people. He wondered about that sometimes too. Would he really? Campaigning is hard, even at the state level. He could barely even imagine what the national level would be like. He looked at Martha. 

“Martha Washington, love of my life, I swear to whatever god is in the sky, that I will be the same man before and after my presidential campaign, regardless of the outcome,” he placed a chaste kiss on her lips, then leaned back and let her lean into his side. He wrapped his arm around her and un-muted the TV. The two sat in silence, worrying about what was to come. 

Neither of them noticed the teenager run from the top of the stairs. 

***

Alex was giddy all the next day. He sat in his room most of the day. He showered then eagerly wrote about the events of the day before. Then he pulled the book from the drawer of his desk and continued reading it. He couldn’t focus on anything else. He forced himself to focus on the book and only the book, it was the only thing that kept him from floating up to cloud nine. 

Some time later in the afternoon, after he and Martha had eaten lunch, Laf had come home. Alex was a little disappointed that John didn’t come as well, but he was going to spend the night with John. He could wait three more hours. 

Or so he thought. They were the most agonizing three hours of his life. He had finished the book and now had nothing to do but pace the room. Sit down on the window sill. Continue pacing the room again. About an hour before John was supposed to come pick him up, Laf came into his room. 

“We are going to get you ready,” Laf said, sitting down on his bed. 

“Um. Okay,” Alex said. He decided that the best course of action would be to just go along with what Laf had planned. 

“When was the last time you showered?” Laf asked.

“This morning…” Alex replied. Laf looked at him suspiciously. 

“Go shower again. Your hair looks limp,” Laf said. Alex sighed and went to the bathroom. He quickly showered, making sure to wash his hair so Laf wouldn’t send him back in. He had a feeling they wouldn’t hesitate to make him shower until John got there. 

He got out and dried off, putting back on the same clothes he had worn all day. He exited the bathroom and saw two things had changed in his room. One, there was a hair dryer on his bed. Two, Herc was sitting on his bed next to Laf. Alex paused for a moment before going to his desk and sitting down. 

“I’m guessing I’m expected to use this,” Alex said, holding up the hair dryer. 

“ _Oui_ ,” Laf said. Alex sighed and began drying his hair. Laf left the room for a moment. Alex turned around and saw Herc staring at the wall. 

“So how have you been Hercules?” Alex asked, still drying his hair. 

“Pretty damn good, you?” Herc asked. 

“Pretty damn good,” Alex smiled. 

“So I’ve heard,” Herc said, “I’m really glad you two got together so fast. Pining is so fucking annoying. And difficult. Trust me. I know,”

“How long did it take you to ask Laf out?” Alex asked.

“Almost two years,” Herc replied, “been pining since eighth grade. That’s when they decided they wanted to be ‘they’ and not ‘him’, so they were going through a tough time. I thought it best not to ask them out. Then there was the troubles of our freshmen year of high school. I finally got the balls to do it at the end of the years, and I’m sure as hell glad that I did,”

“That sucks. I’m glad it worked out,” Alex said. 

“Me too,” Herc smiled at Laf as they walked back into the room. He carried a hanger with a dry cleaning back attached to it.

“Mr. Laurens has instructed me to make you so attractive that he will not be able to close his mouth when he sees you,” Laf said, “because I did not have time to take you to get your own, I pulled this from my closet and got it dry cleaned,”

They took the bag off the hanger, revealing a niced pressed suit. Alex stood up and examined the suit. 

“The last time I wore it I was probably about your size,” Laf said, “so it should fit,”

“Okay,” Alex took it gingerly, feeling if he man handled it he might break it. He took it to the bathroom. He changed. The suit fit surprisingly well. He couldn’t figure out how to tie the tie, but he assumed Laf could help him with that. He exited the bathroom. Laf nearly jumped with excitement. 

“Oh I have done my job well,” Laf said, praising themself, “let me just tie your tie,”

Laf tied the tie and stepped back. They smiled. Then the doorbell rang. 

Alex’s heart began to beat as fast as Laf’s feet as they ran out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf has concerns. George has made discoveries, and Alex and John go on their date.

**Chapter 6:**

Alex looked at the opened door. He was nervous to say the least. He didn’t know if he looked good, he didn’t know if he would say something stupid. There were a million things that could possibly go wrong and completely ruin their night. He took a deep breath and exited the room. He heard chattering downstairs. Mostly, it was Laf speaking rapidly and John saying a word every once and awhile. Alex stopped for a moment to hear the conversation, but he really couldn’t make out what they were saying. 

John could barely comprehend what Laf was saying. They were speaking so fast and John could hardly get a word in. He was just standing there, trying to not visibly shake. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. He was terrified he was going to mess something up. He was terrified that his fake relationship would ruin his real relationship. He could probably find a million different things to worry about, but Laf pulled him out of his thoughts. 

“ALEXANDER!” Laf yelled, “ _venir ici! Votre date vous attend!_

John looked towards the staircase and saw Alexander come around the corner. He looked absolutely gorgeous. His hair was down. It was the second time John had ever seen his hair down. The first was when he was lying in a hospital bed. As good as it looked then, it looked a hundred times better now. Alex smiled when he met John’s eyes. The boys could barely contain their excitement. 

Alex approached John slowly. He wanted to take his time admiring the boy’s beauty. Alex had no idea how he had managed to capture John’s affections, but he was sure happy that he did. John smiled as he approached him. 

“Mr. Hamilton,” John said politely. He took Alex’s hand and kissed it. 

Alex blushed, “Mr. Laurens,”

“Shall we be on our way?” John asked, opening the door. Alex was a little disappointed. He had expected John to take his hand and walk him out the door. Then he remembered their little agreement. They couldn’t be seen showing affection to each other. But surely they could walk out the door of the Washingtons without being spotted? He just guessed John didn’t want to take any chances. 

“We shall,” Alex smiled and walked out the door. 

“Have him home by midnight young man,” Laf said sternly, “and don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

“That means we can do anything,” John said. Alex laughed and the two left. 

Laf exhaled. George and Martha were both still working, so Laf was home by himself. They were expected at Herc’s soon, but they had a little time before they had to be there, and there was something on their mind. 

“Hercules, darling, will you come down here?” Laf called. Herc poked his head out from the top of the stairs. Laf laughed. They felt bubbly inside. There was nothing Herc could do that didn’t make Laf’s heart beat like it had the first time they’d met. 

“What’s up babe?” Herc asked, walking down the steps and into the living room. He plopped down on the armchair in the corner. Laf sat down in his lap and sighed. 

“I overheard something last night,” Laf said, “and I don’t know what to do with this information,”

“What did you hear?” Herc asked. 

“George is running for president,” Laf said.

“What?!” Herc would’ve flown out of the seat if it weren’t for Laf sitting in his lap, “I thought those were just rumors...I thought…”

“You thought wrong sweetie,” Laf said, pinching his cheek, “that’s not all I heard,”

“What else?” Herc asked.

“They’re digging into Alex’s past,” Laf sighed, “that’s where Martha was yesterday. She went to New York to talk to Alex’s caseworker, to get information on his past families,”

“Okay…” Herc paused, “what advice do you want?”

“I want to know if I should tell Alexander,” Laf said, “and if I should tell George and Martha that I know about the whole president thing, or wait until he tells us and pretend that it’s a surprise,”

“I don’t think you should tell Alexander,” Herc said. Laf nodded. They weren’t planning on telling Alex, but they wanted a second opinion, 

“The Washingtons on the other hand…” Herc continued, “I think you should tell them you know. Maybe push them to tell Alex. Alex is bound to have his own opinion on the matter, and the sooner he finds out the better. He’s already weary about trusting the Washingtons, and them keeping this information from him may make things worse,”

“You are very smart, Hercules,” Laf said, “thank you,”

They tilted their head and placed a kiss on Herc’s lips. After a moment, Herc tried to pull away, but Laf spun so they were straddling him. They deepened the kiss and ran their hands down Herc’s sides, letting them creep up the hem of his shirt. Herc placed both his hands on their shoulders and pushed them away. 

“As much as I want to,” Herc said, “my parents aren’t home…”

“Oooo,” Laf gave him a suggestive smirk. 

“The Schuylers are gonna be over in about twenty minutes. I need to unlock the house,” Herc said.

Laf sighed, “fine,” they got off Herc’s lap. Herc took their hand and the two walked out of the house. 

***

Alex had to lay on the floor of the backseat when they went to pick up Angelica. Thankfully, John had a big car, so it wasn’t too uncomfortable. He was worried about getting his suit dirty, but John had promised him that he had vacuumed the car before coming to pick him up. Alex appreciated this.

Angelica was very sweet when she got in the car. Alex was starting to really like her. She was the level headed badass Alex wished that he was. He told John this after they had dropped her off.

“You’re just as badass,” John insisted, “you have no idea how fucking hot you were when you told that guy off at the mall,”

Alex blushed, “thanks John. I just wish I could be like that all the time,”

“I’m sure it’ll come out soon enough,” John said, “what is it Laf calls you? _Mon petit lion_?”

“Yeah…” Alex stared at his lap. 

“You live up to the nickname,” John said, “calm and collected most of the time, but will absolutely destroy someone when you’re disturbed,”

Alex smiled, “is that a good thing?”

“Well it’s sure as hell better than me,” John said, “John Laurens: he will punch you in the face if you say something that pisses him off,”

“Really?” Alex asked, laughing a little. 

“Yup,” John returned, “I don’t even have to go to the principal’s office anymore. He just sends me an email that basically says ‘I know you punched someone’ and I go to detention for two weeks,”

“Just like that?” Alex asked, still laughing. 

“Yeah. They’ve stopped trying to discipline me, but they still have to punish me,” John laughed, “I’m basically a lost cause,”

Alex smiled. At least he wasn’t the only one who was ‘unnecessarily violent’. Alex now truly understood what George had meant when he said him and John were made for each other. 

***  
Alex’s heart nearly stopped when they pulled up in front a restaurant called ‘Taste of the Caribbean’. John knew. How did John know? Did Laf tell him? He tried to calm himself down. What would it matter if John knew where he came from? It’s not like that revealed his past. Maybe it was the fact that he thought Laf had betrayed his trust. He began to calm his breathing, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_

“You okay?” John asked, looking at him with concern. 

“Yeah. Fine,” Alex said, “I just didn’t know that you knew,”

“That I knew what?” John asked. Alex was a little taken aback. John _didn’t_ know where he was from? Was this all a joke? Or just a crazy coincidence?

“Um. I’m...I’m from the Caribbean,” Alex said, staring at his lap. 

“Wait seriously?” John asked, smiling. Alex nodded, “what a crazy coincidence. But if you don’t want to go here it’s fine. We can go somewhere else. I know you don’t like talking about your past and I understand that. We can find somewhere else to go. Hell, if you want we can just go get drive thru and eat it in the…”

“John,” Alex said, a smile on his lips, “it’s fine,”

“Okay. Are you sure? Because I’m totally cool with going somewhere else,”

“It’s fine,” Alex laughed. He was all of a sudden more comfortable with the situation. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t care about people knowing where he was from anymore. That was another thing he loved about John. John could pull him away from his fears. 

“Well then. I don’t know how long they’ll hold our reservation,” John said, getting out of the car. He walked around and met Alex at his door. He offered him his hand. 

“I thought we couldn’t hold hands in public,” Alex said, looking at it cautiously. 

“Alex. We’re both dressed nicely, about to go into a fancy restaurant and have dinner. Holding my hand isn’t going to be what gives us away,” John replied, smiling, “and besides. I said we couldn’t hold hands around town, where there are people who know me. There’s a reason I took you into the city,”

“Well okay then,” Alex smiled and took John’s hand tenderly. He had held John’s hand before, but for some reason, this time it made him blush. Maybe it was the fact that their relationship was a big secret. Maybe it was the fact that they were on a date. Maybe it was the thrill of possibly getting caught. Whatever it was, he liked it. 

***

George nearly leapt out of his chair when he heard the front door open. He was excited to say the least. He had found something. He got up slowly and walked towards the front door, just in case it was one of the kids and not his wife. 

He let his stature fall when he found his wife, standing in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine. 

“You seem happy,” she said smiling. 

“What? How?” George asked. 

“George, sweetie, we’ve been married for twenty seven years,” Martha said, “even if you’re trying to be all stoic, I know when you’re happy about something,”

George sighed, leaning against the door frame. 

“Does this excitement warrant a drink?” she asked, pulling a bottle of whiskey out of the liquor cabinet. 

“Yes. It absolutely does,” George said smiling. Martha smirked and poured him a glass. Her husband wasn’t an excessive drinker. He drank for occasions. He never had a drink ‘just because’. She handed him his drink as she walked towards the living room. 

“So why are we all excited,” she asked, sitting on the couch. 

“I found something on one of the families Alex stayed with,” George said. This got Martha’s attention. She was already excited for her husband, but now she was truly excited. 

“Which one?” she asked.

“The Lees,” George replied, “about fifteen years ago, Charles Lee was dishonorably discharged from the army for going directly against his superiors commands. He lost almost a thousand soldiers that day,”

“Okay,” Martha said, “it’s great that he doesn’t have a squeaky clean track record, but how does that help up,”

“Well that’s just one thing,” George said, “his current wife is his second wife, despite what he tells everyone,”

“I’m assuming something happened with the first wife,” Martha said, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Oh yes,” George smiled, “after she found out what he had done, she said he wanted a divorce. He apparently agreed to it, but a little while later, he was found in her parent’s apartment with a gun,”

“Seriously?” she asked. George nodded. 

“Thankfully she wasn’t home, but since he never actually shot the gun, he wasn’t charged with anything,” George sighed, “and somehow, that information got swept under the rug. He has a stable job, a second wife, and four foster children. But there have been more than ten different foster children that have lived in his house,”

“Oh no,” she said, “there are three children in that house? We need to get them out! We need to…”

“Martha. There is nothing we can do right now. The only way we can do anything is if Alex is willing to talk to us,” George said, taking a sip of his drink. 

“We could talk to the other children who are staying with him, or have stayed with him,” Martha protested.

“How are we going to do that?” he asked, “there’s no way for us to get names of past foster children without talking to Alex. And I don’t think Charles Lee would open his doors to anyone who has any relation to Alexander Hamilton. Especially if my suspicions are true,”

“What suspicions?” Martha stared at him, a little concerned. 

“You know which ones,” George said softly. Martha gave him a confused look. He sighed, “the ones where Alex was abused,”

***

The date was wonderful. Alexander could barely remember a time in his life when he has felt this happy. Happiness was such a rare feeling to him these days; it felt too good to be true. 

The whole dinner was great. The best part about it was that his past was only brought up once. That was when John asked if the food was truly authentic. It was. Alex didn’t know what he expected. John was very good about respecting his privacy, but at the same time they were on a date, eating food from his homeland. It seemed as if that would be the place something like that would come up. 

The best part of the evening, by far, was when the two took a walk around the national mall. It all started when they left the restaurant. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” John asked, “the national mall is a few blocks away,”

“Sure,” Alex said. He took the hand John offered him as the two walked down the street. It was a relatively quiet night. As they got closer to the park, they saw large groups of people on tours. Something Alex didn’t understand. Why would you tour the monuments at night? It’s not like you can see them. 

“I know what you’re thinking,” John said, “and I honestly have no idea,”

“Maybe because it’s less crowded?” Alex offered. John shrugged. 

“Maybe,” John said, leading him past the Lincoln memorial, towards the Washington monument. 

“Have you ever thought that the Washingtons may be related to him?” Alex asked, gesturing towards the monument. 

“It’s crossed my mind,” John replied, “but apparent Laf ask George when they were younger, George assured them that he wasn’t,”

“Ah,” Alex said, staring at it, “have you ever thought that it’s a monument to his dick?”

John had to stop walking he was laughing so hard. Of all the things that had ever come out of Alexander Hamilton’s mouth, John sure as hell wasn’t expecting that. 

“I think it’s supposed to represent, like, the timelessness of civilization,” John said, “but yeah...it could be a monument to his dick,”

The two boys continued walking, still unable to control their laughter. It died down for a moment, then they looked at each other again. Smiles grew on both of their faces before they started laughing again. 

“We’re such children,” Alex said, wiping tears from his eyes. He had never laughed so hard that he cried before. John looked over at him and smiled. He saw the tear running down Alex’s face. He tenderly raised his hand and wiped the tear away. 

“Shall we go sit under the dick monument?” John asked. Alex laughed then nodded. The two walked over to the monument and found a bench relatively close to it. John put his arm over Alex’s shoulder and pulled him closer. Alex let his head rest on John’s shoulder. John looked down at him. Then a thought crossed his mind. 

“Can I kiss you?” John asked. Alex was sitting up in an instant.

“What?” Alex asked. 

“Can I...kiss you?” John asked again, a little less confident in himself this time. Alex sat for a moment. He wanted to kiss John. That much was certain to him. But he knew that if he thought about it too much, he would be too scared. He looked John in the eye. 

“Yes,” he said softly. John leaned in. When Alex could feel his breath, he closed his eyes. John’s lips were soft and felt nice against his. He had never kissed anyone before. He felt the same way he did when John had held his hand earlier. John pulled away for a moment. He met Alex’s eyes before going to kiss him again. He was less cautious this time. He moved his lips against Alex’s. He let his hand rest of Alex’s waist to pull him a little closer. Alex put his hand on John’s neck to deepen their kiss. They continued to kiss until a little while later when John pulled away and met his eyes. 

“I love you Alexander Hamilton,”

Alex’s only regret that night was that he didn’t say it back. 

***

Alex had to watch from the car as John placed a kiss on Angelica’s cheek. He would be lying if he said there wasn’t some sort of jealousy bubbling inside him. He knew that neither of them felt anything for the other, given the fact that they were both gay, but his mind couldn’t help but wander. He knew sexuality was never set in stone, things changed. They always changed. John could be so gay that he shit rainbows, but if there was a woman who caught his attention, he could pursue her. Alexander couldn’t help but think that Angelica could be that woman. Alex didn’t know her very well, but he knew she was intelligent and level headed. Something that would be good for John, given his apparent hot-headedness. If Alexander were to put a label on himself, it would not be level-headed. He stayed wrapped up in his own insecurity until John opened the car. 

“Just let us get around the corner then you can jump into the front seat,” John said, starting the car, “my hand is cold. I need to keep holding yours,”

Alex smiled. That pushed his insecurity away for the moment, but he knew it would be back. It always came back to make sure that he knew he didn’t deserve anything that he enjoyed. 

They rounded the corner and Alex climbed over the center console and plopped into the passenger seat. John took his hand off the wheel and held Alexander’s. The ride from the Schuylers to the Washingtons was a quick one, so before either boy knew it, they were sitting in the Washingtons driveway. John got out of the car and walked Alex up the front steps. They paused in front the door. 

“I had a really great time tonight,” John said, holding both of Alex’s hands.

“Me too,” Alex smiled at how nicely his and John’s hands looked together. John took a step closer. 

“I especially like the part where I kissed you under the giant dick,” John whispered. 

“Yes that was very romantic,” Alex said trying to hold in his laughter. John smiled and stepped back slightly before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on Alex’s lips. 

“Goodnight Alexander,” he said softly before walking down the stairs and back into his car. Alex gave him a small wave as he turned around. John smiled and returned it before driving off. 

And in that moment, any insecurity he had been feeling that night disappeared. 

He walked through the front door to see George and Martha sitting on the couch. They seemed to be waiting for him, for they both turned when he entered the room. He would usually freeze when seeing George in the room then get to the stairs as quickly as possible. But instead he froze, looked at George, then burst out laughing. Martha and George gave each other strange looks before looking back at Alex. 

“You okay, son?” George asked. Alex didn’t even flinch at the word son. His head was in the clouds. 

“Yeah. I’m good,” he said through laughter. 

“Alright. If you have a minute, Martha and I want to talk to you,”

Alex instantly stopped laughing. This couldn’t be good. The phrase ‘we need to talk’ had never ended well for anyone. He cautiously walked over to the armchair and sat down facing the Washingtons. 

“So how’d the date go?” Martha asked. 

That can’t be what they wanted to talk about, could it? Alex was confused. It seemed to innocent and light hearted to justify giving him a heart attack. 

“It went well,” Alex said, “I had a good time. We went to some fancy place in DC and then walked around the national mall,”

“That sounds fun, what did you,” Martha smiled. George cleared his throat and Martha stopped speaking. They were there to ask him a specific question after all. Might as well not get distracted. 

“That wasn’t the question,” George said. 

Of course it wasn’t. Alex knew it was too good to be true. He started to panic. He needed to control his breathing, _one two three, inhale, uno duos tres, exhalación_. 

“Do you think you’re ready to start school?” George asked. Alex audibly exhaled which made George and Martha chuckle. 

“Sorry,” Alex said. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Martha said, “I would’ve been holding my breath too if I were in your position,”

Alex offered her a weak smile before beginning to think. If Martha had not given him time to think, he would’ve told them he was ready to start school without hesitation. But she had, so now he was overthinking. Was he ready for school? He definitely wanted to start the work. He enjoyed learning and it helped keep his mind from wandering to dark places. But was he ready for the social aspect? Yes, this time he had friends, which would make it easier. His friends were apparently hated by everyone, but he really didn’t care about assholes. He could handle them anyday. He realized the real reason why he didn’t say yes the second the Washingtons asked him, he was worried about seeing John with Angelica. 

Tonight it was fine. John kissed Angelica’s cheek while dropping her off, but John had kissed his _lips_ when dropping him off, so it was okay. School though, was eight hours long. Eight hours of seeing John hold Angelica’s hand. John kiss Angelica’s cheek, maybe even her lips. John walking Angelica to class. John sitting next to Angelica and wrapping his arm around her. The thought of it made Alex clench his jaw. He didn’t want to go to school and watch the two of them interact as though they were a couple,but not going would just be delaying the inevitable.

“Yeah. I think so,” Alex said. 

“Okay. We think you’re ready too,” Martha said.

“You’ll start on Monday,” George said, “I’m going to get everything sorted out this weekend so you don’t have to do anything other than go up to the secretary and say ‘hi I’m Alexander Hamilton’ then continue on your way,”

Alex smiled and nodded, “is that all?”

“Yup,” George said. Alex stood and walked towards the stairs. 

“Goodnight Alexander!” Martha called. 

“Goodnight!” Alex yelled back. Then he was up the stairs and out of their view. 

He half expected to see Laf in his room casually lounging, waiting for him to come home and tell them everything about the night. Then he remembered that Laf was over at Herc’s, so they were most likely spending the night. 

Alex kicked his shoes off and laid down on the bed, not bothering to take off his blazer. He took his phone out of his pocket and texted John. 

**To John(11:57 pm):** I burst out laughing when I walked inside and saw George

 **From John(11:58 pm):** HAHA! Tbh next time I see him I probably will too

 **To John(11:58 pm):** Tbh?

 **From John(11:59 pm):** To be honest

 **To John(11:59 pm):** Ah  
**To John(12:01 am):** I’m starting school on Monday

 **From John(12:01 am):** That’s great! Now I don’t have to wait until almost 3 o’clock to see you every day. 

Alex blushed. 

**To John(12:02 am):** Yup. You get to see me in all my exhausted glory

 **From John(12:03 am):** I look forward to it ;)  
**From John(12:04 am):** I think I’m gonna sleep

 **To John(12:05 am):** Yeah. Me too. I guess I should probably sleep before going to school

 **From John(12:06 am):** Eh. I don’t usually. 

**To John(12:06 am):** Haha

 **From John(12:07 am):** I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 **To John(12:07 am):** Yeah. Whenever you want to come over

 **From John(12:08 am):** Sweet. See you then. Goodnight  <3

 **To John(12:09 am):** Goodnight  <3 <3

Alex still regretted not telling John that he loved him. He hoped that the two hearts in a text message would make up for that, but he knew that it wasn’t. Nothing would make up for the tiny heartbreak he probably caused John. The next time it was appropriate, Alex would tell him. But for now, he went into his contacts and changed ‘John’ to ‘John <3 <3’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few years ago, we took a trip to DC and we went on a night tour of the monuments. I didn’t understand why went at night because we couldn’t see anything. We only ended up seeing like two monuments(the White House and the Jefferson memorial) because we lost one of the teachers at the Jefferson memorial and it then the tour was deemed ‘too dark and dangerous’ to continue.  
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)
> 
> French translations:  
> Venir ici! Votre date vous attend!: Come down here! Your date it waiting for you!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter high school, Schuyler sisters, and Thomas Jefferson

**Chapter 7**

John was nervous to say the least when he walked into the Washington's house. He didn’t know how the date went. He enjoyed himself. He got to kiss Alexander Hamilton, so of course it was a good night for him, but he didn’t know how Alexander felt. There were a few small things about the night that made him feel insecure about his relationship with Alex. Things that he wouldn’t think twice about if one of his friends did it, but in this new relationship, made him feel extremely insecure. 

Martha poked her head out of the kitchen when she heard the front door open. She smiled as John. 

“Good morning John,” Martha smiled. John returned her smile. It wasn’t uncommon for John to just randomly show up at the Washingtons, so Martha wasn’t phased by it. 

“Laf is over at Herc’s,” she continued, “and I’m pretty sure Alex is still sleeping. You can go bug him if you want, or there are some leftover pancakes from yesterday in the freezer if you want some,”

“No need to bug him. He’s already here,” Alex yawned while standing in the kitchen doorway. John turned and instantly smiled when he saw him. Alex looked absolutely adorable. His hair was a mess and the clothes he was wearing were two sizes too big.

“Good morning, John,” Alex said with a smile. 

“Good morning,” John said. 

“Boys, I have to leave for work in about a half hour,” Martha said, “I’m gonna go take a shower. Be good,”

“Yes ma’am,” John said, saluting. Alex laughed. Martha walked out of the kitchen. John looked at Alex, “are you hungry? Martha said there are some pancakes in the freezer,”

“Nah I’m good,” Alex said, looking around the kitchen, “do you know where the Washingtons keep their coffee?” 

“Yeah,” John walked over and reached around Alex to open the cabinet with the coffee. 

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” John pulled the coffee out of the cabinet.

“You haven’t stopped smiling,” Alex said, looking at him. 

“That’s because you look fucking _adorable_ ,” John said softly. Alex blushed, staring at the ground. John placed a finger under Alex’s chin and lifted his hand so they were looking each other in the eyes. John leaned in and kissed Alex. 

“I love you,” Alex said, quickly pulling away. 

“I love you too,” John said, and kissed him again, harder this time. Both John’s hands were on Alex’s waist and Alex wrapped his arms around John’s neck. Then the front door slammed open. 

“ _Mes amies!_ ,” 

John and Alex instantly broke apart, flying away from each other. Laf, who was standing in the doorway with Herc, seemed completely unphased by their sudden movements. They continued speaking. 

“ _Oh non. Non mes amis, mes amants. Non...Je ne sais pas...mais oh! Vous deux êtes trop mignon_ ”

“ _Pourriez-vous nous donner deux minutes d'avertissement?_ ” Alex said with a bit of venom in his voice. John smiled. At least now he knew that Alex enjoyed kissing him enough that he wouldn’t want to be interrupted. 

“Why? Was I interrupting something?” Laf asked, finally realizing that they had actually interrupted the two of them. 

“Yup,” Alex said immediately, glaring at Laf. 

“Yeah, kinda. A little,” John said. 

“Oh. Well then, continue on,” Laf said, leaning against Herc, showing no signs that they were going to leave. Alex and John looked at each then back at Laf and Herc. Herc shrugged and gave them an apologetic look. 

“Wanna go keep watching Daredevil?” John asked.

“Oh! Yes!” Laf jumped up and began making his way through the kitchen. 

“I wasn’t asking you,” John said. Laf stopped instantly and looked dejected. 

“Why?” Laf pouted. 

“If I want to kiss my boyfriend, I’m not gonna do it in front of you,” John said taking Alex’s hand and walking towards the lounge. 

_Boyfriend_ Alex thought. The word set fireworks off inside him. He smiled, maybe the universe was rooting for him. 

***

The weekend went by rather uneventfully. John spent Saturday at the Washingtons. Him and Alex spent most of the day in the lounge watching Daredevil. John kissed Alex whenever he wanted, and occasionally, Alex was the one to kiss John. 

Sunday, John had to stay home. He had an actual fake date with Angelica. Alex stayed in his room all day, writing and trying not to think about it. Laf had come in some time during the day and helped Alex set up his laptop, which he hadn’t even removed from the box. Alex tried to protest, but Laf insisted Alex would need it for school. So now he had a fully functioning laptop that was all his own. 

Monday came faster than he was expecting. He wasn’t nervous, per se, but he wasn’t particularly excited. He would have to see John with Angelica all day. He was not looking forward to that. So, when his alarm went off, he groaned slammed his head into his pillow. 

Laf and George were standing in the kitchen when Alex arrived. George was standing over the stove and Laf was leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee. 

“Morning Alex,” George said, “want an egg?” 

“No thanks,” Alex said, sitting at the island and put his head in his hands, trying to fall back asleep. 

“Coffee, _mon ami_?” Laf asked. 

“Please,” Alex said, not lifting his head from its place between his arms. He heard George chuckle but still didn’t budge. His body was not used to getting up this early. His body also wasn’t used to the six full hours of sleep he had gotten the night before. Laf placed the mug in front of him. 

“Want milk or anything?” Laf asked. 

“No,” Alex said, taking a big gulp from the mug. It burnt his tongue slightly, but felt nice as it went down his throat. He could feel himself waking up already. He took another sip. The three stayed in the kitchen in silence. After a few moments, George and Laf each sat down with a plate of eggs. 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” George asked, “eggs? Toast? Something,”

“I guess I’ll make myself some toast,” Alex said, going to stand up. George stood first. 

“I got it,” he said, walking towards the toast. 

“So,” Laf looked at him, “are you excited to see our dear Laurens?”

“No,” Alex replied, taking a sip of coffee. 

“ _Quelle? Pourquoi?_ ” Laf’s face fell. Alex just glared at him, then it all clicked in their mind, “oh! _Mon ami,_ everything will be fine. John Laurens is completely in love with you, and he would not give you up for the world,”

“I know but…” Alex began, but Laf cut him off. 

“And if he did, I would pummel him until he forgot who you were,” Laf said. Alex laughed a little. 

“Thanks Laf,” Alex smiled, “it’s just my stupid insecurity. That’s all,”

“Well, I do not believe you’re going to have to worry about that at school,” Laf said, “although, I know you only really ever think about Laurens, there will plenty of other assholes in that building who will occupy your thoughts. I promise that,”

Alex laughed as George placed his toast in front of him. Alex thanked him before eating the warm bread. His eating habits seemed foreign to him. Even though he was eating three meals a day, it felt strange. That wasn’t a thing he did. He would look in the mirror, and every day he looked less and less like a skeleton.

“ _Oh! Merde!_ ” Laf was out of their chair in a second as he flew up the stairs. 

“What?” Alex called after them. 

“We have to leave in two minutes!” Laf called back. Alex looked at the clock on the microwave, and sure enough, it said 7:13. Alex took another bite of his toast before dropping the rest of it onto the plate then scraping it into the garbage. Alex did eat three meals a day, they weren’t necessarily _full_ meals, but they were meals all the same. He finished his coffee and put his mug in the sink along with his plate. Laf came running back down the stairs with their shoes in one hand and their backpack in the other. 

“Are you ready to go, _mon ami_?” Laf asked, slipping a shoe on. 

“ _I_ am,” Alex said, putting his backpack over his shoulder, “are you?”

“ _Oui,_ ” they said, putting on their other shoe. 

“Have a good day!” George called as both boys left the house. 

Alex had never been so scared in his life.

***

George had been right. All Alex had to do when he got to school was go to the office and tell the secretary that he was Alexander Hamilton. She smiled and introduced herself as Mrs. Kennedy. She gave him a paper copy of his schedule and sent him on his way. 

After Alex left the office, he met up with Laf who showed him where his locker was. Laf sent a quick text and soon all his friends were around his lockers, including Angelica, and two girls he didn’t recognize. It set his teeth on edge when he saw Angelica grab John’s hand. 

“Alex,” Angelica said, “these are my sisters. Eliza and Peggy. Eliza’s a sophomore and Peggy’s a freshmen,”

“Wait. You’re not a sophomore?” Alex asked, confused. How could he be friends with someone not in his grade? He remembered at his old schools there was an unwritten rule that you did not talk to anyone outside your grade. 

“No. I’m a junior,” she said. Alex nodded. Then the warning bell rang, and people began walking to their various classes. 

“Let me see your schedule,” John said. Alex handed him the piece of paper. He made sure that their hands brushed when he handed off the paper. They both smiled at each other. 

“Alright. Sweet, we pretty much have the same schedule today,” John said. Not that he didn’t already know that. His father made this so. He decided not to mention that. 

“At least you’re not alone with Truman anymore,” Herc said. 

“True,” John said, “shall we go?”

Alex smiled and nodded. He didn’t know why John always said ‘shall’, but he liked it. 

“Bye babe,” Angelica said, kissing John’s cheek and walking in the other direction. Alex looked away, trying not to let jealousy cloud his judgement. He _knew_ the relationship was fake, but it didn’t mean that he liked that someone else was kissing his boyfriend. 

“Alex?” John’s voice got through to him. 

“What?” Alex asked. 

“I asked if you were ready to go,” John said. 

“Yeah. I’m ready,” Alex said. John nodded and the two made their way down the hall. As they neared their classroom, someone crashed into John, and it looked like he did it on purpose. 

“Watch where you’re going, Jefferson,” John spit. 

“Now tell me, Laurens,” Jefferson said, “how does a scrawny sophomore, like yourself, get a date with Angelica Schuyler,”

Alex didn’t know which of Jefferson’s accusations to react to. The fact that he was talking about him and Angelica like they were dating, or that he had called John scrawny. 

“You jealous?” John asked, smirking. 

“Why would I have any reason to be jealous of you?” Thomas asked, gesturing to his dick. He laughed, but then he looked over John’s shoulder and saw Alex standing against the wall. He stopped laughing. 

“Who are you?” Thomas asked.

“Um. Alexander Hamilton,” Alex said, not getting off the wall. If John had beef with this guy, Alex did too. 

“Thomas Jefferson,” he said, extending a hand to Alex. Alex just looked at it before looking up at Jefferson.

“Anyway,” Jefferson continued, retracting his hand, “I wouldn’t hang around his friends. You might catch the gay,”

“I already have,” Alex said, standing up straight and plastering a fake smile on his, “but thanks for your concern,”

It took everything in John’s power not to make out with his boyfriend. 

***

The first half of the day was rather uneventful. Alex had to introduce himself in each class, but after the first one, he wasn’t nervous. His favorite class so by far his political debate class, an elective he had second period with Angelica. The subject of American politics was _incredibly_ interesting to him. Although the morning was uneventful, lunch was _very_ eventful. 

John led Alex to the cafeteria, where they met the rest of their friends in the table in the corner of the room. Laf and Angelica didn’t have lunch with them, but John, Alex, Herc, Eliza, and Peggy all ate together. The first thing Alex noticed was that Herc was much quieter when Laf wasn’t around. The second thing Alex noticed was that Eliza was the sweetest person ever, and if he wasn’t dating John, he would absolutely ask Eliza out. The third thing he noticed was how John overexaggerated his actions. 

“You guys won’t _believe_ what Alex said to Jefferson this morning,” He went on to tell his friends how Thomas was oh so jealous of his ‘relationship’ with Angelica, which made this whole situation a hundred times better. He then told him how Alex had ‘roasted him so hard that you could practically see the smoke coming off him’.

That’s why Alex got nervous when he saw Thomas Jefferson and two other people he didn’t recognize coming his way. As his friends noticed their enemies approaching, they slowly quieted, all turning and giving the trio their dirtiest look. 

“Thomas,” John said as the three approached, “have you cooled off?”

“Fuck off, I’m not here to talk to you, Laurens,” Jefferson said. He pulled out a chair and placed it right in front of Alex. Alex was staring at his lap, but when he felt Jefferson’s stare he looked up and met the older boy’s eyes. 

“I have a question for you, Alexander,” Thomas said, “how well do your friends know you?”

“What?” Alex asked, confused. 

“Do they know where you’re from?” Thomas looked at everyone else at the table. None of them said anything. 

“Oh he didn’t tell you? How rude,” Thomas said in faux surprise, “he didn’t tell you that his mother was a whore? That he grew up in poverty? How he’s an orphan? Or how his cousin killed himself because of him? Or that the only reason he’s here is because someone brought him to America after his…”

“That’s enough, Thomas,” John said. He saw the look on Alex’s face. He had a fire in his stomach, like John did. So the fact that he was being personally attacked, and wasn’t saying anything, meant that there was something very wrong. 

“What? You don’t want to know more?”

“No,” John said, standing up. Alex wasn’t registering any of this. All he knew was the panic, the fear. This Jefferson guy knew. _How_ did he know? He hadn’t told anyone anything about his past, and it wasn’t like he was on any social media. He pretty much didn’t exist on the internet. He looked around, and out of the corner of he saw a door. 

“Go,” John said. Thomas stood put his hands up as if to surrender. John gave him the finger as he walked away, “Alex are you alright?”

The second John spoke to him he was off. He picked up his backpack and bolted across the cafeteria towards the door. He ignored the ‘Emergency Exit only. Alarm will sound’ sign on the door. He pushed it open, unphased by the alarms going off. John was right behind him. 

“Alex!” John called, “Alex! Alexander stop!”

Alex kept running. He needed to get as far away from the school as possible. He knew coming to school would be a mistake. He should’ve just stayed curled up in his room with his journal. It was safe there. 

He ran about a block before John had a hand on his shoulder. Alex had never really been in shape, so he wasn’t surprised when John, who was definitely in shape, caught up to him. 

“Alex. Man, it’s okay,” John said. Alex turned and faced him, his lip quivering. He pulled Alex into a hug, not really caring who saw. He ran his fingers through Alex’s hair, shushing him as he sobbed into John’s shoulder. 

“You’re okay,” John said. Alex nodded and pulled away, sniffling and wiping his tears. 

“Who _was_ that?” Alex asked. 

“Thomas Jefferson, resident school dick bag, and student council president,” John said. Alex’s mouth fell open.

“ _He_ is student council president?” Alex asked, “why didn’t you run, or Angelica or _someone_ ,”

“Only seniors can be student council president,” John said, “and besides, neither of us would beat Thomas anyway. Everyone is terrified of him,”

“I see what they mean,” Alex said, rocking onto his heels, “John...how did he _know_ that stuff?”

“I don’t know,” John said, “I’ve never seen him like that before. He’s never stooped to that level,”

Alex nodded and began walking away from the school. 

“Where are you going?” John asked. 

“Home,” Alex replied, not looking back. 

“Do you know how to get there?” John asked, knowing this was the first time Alex had left the house in daylight. 

“Um...no,” Alex said, stopping. 

“Well. If we go get in my car, I’ll show you,” John smiled. Alex nodded. Alex resisted the urge to take John’s hand as the two walked back towards the school parking lot. 

***

The moment the two walked through the Washingtons’ front door, using John’s key, John grabbed Alex by the waist and forcefully kissed him. Alex was a taken by surprise, but quickly took John’s face in his hands and kissed him back just as hard. Both pulled away, gasping for breath.

“Any particular reason you did that?” Alex asked. 

“Two, actually,” John said, kissing Alex’s jaw, “reason one,” kiss, “I wanted to ravish you in the hallway,” kiss, “when you told Thomas off this morning,” kiss, “reason two,” kiss, “you need to know that no matter what happened to you in your past, “ kiss, “whatever shitty things people did to you,” kiss, “or you did to people,” kiss, “I will love you just the same,” kiss, “and nothing will ever change that,” he kissed Alex full on the mouth once again. 

“I want you to read these,” Alex said, pulling away and holding up his backpack. John took a step back. He was surprised to say the least. He knew what was in the backpack. It was Alex’s story. Everything that had happened to him. 

“Are...are you sure?” John asked. It was the only thing he could say. 

“Yes,” Alex said, “if you’re going to know about my past, I don’t want you to find out from Thomas Jefferson,”

“Um. Okay,” John said, tentatively taking the bag. He kissed Alex softly, “thank you for trusting me,”

“I do have one request,” Alex said, “don’t read around me. Please. Take them home,”

“I’ll go put them in my car now,” John said, “then maybe we could finish Daredevil?”

Alex nodded. John smiled and kissed him again before running out to his car.

***

Alex asked John to leave before Laf would be home because Alex planned on avoiding them the entire night. John agreed, kissing Alex longingly before he left. That gave him time to go sit in a parking lot somewhere and read Alex’s journals. He knew it wouldn’t be safe to bring them into the house. His father could find them, and that would ruin everything. 

He pulled into a nearby parking lot and turned off the car. It was November, but it wasn’t too cold that he needed the heater. He opened Alex’s backpack and pulled the journals. He found the one with the number one taped in the corner. He opened the first journal. 

_I am stating for the record that my name is Alexander Hamilton. I am sixteen years old. It is May 24th, 2016, and I am currently on a plane to America. They’re going to put me into their foster system and give me a shot at a better education. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited.  
I am sad to be leaving home, but given the stuff that happened on that island, I’m happy to have a chance at a new life where my past can’t come to haunt me_

John read on. He read about Alex’s father, his childhood alone with his mother, then his mother’s death. If anyone asked him, he would tell them that yes, he did cry when he read about Alex’s mother. He read about his cousin’s suicide, and then the hurricane. When reading about the hurricane, there was one particular passage that stood out to him. 

_I felt completely helpless in that moment. I was looking all around me and saw people drowning. They were frantically searching for their loved ones. I saw a friend of mine frantically searching for his younger sister. I was almost grateful that I had no family left. There was nothing that I could do. My friends, my enemies, my_ people _were dying all around me. After the storm, I wandered around, looking for anyone who may have survived. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a hopeless effort. But at the time, I couldn’t admit it to myself, but I can now. Out of everyone in my little village, I was the only one to survive_. 

John couldn’t imagine what that was like. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to literally be the last one. He couldn’t even fathom that. Alex had been through so much, he couldn’t imagine how this could get worse. 

John was very wrong when he thought that was the worst of it. 

_I am writing these events two weeks after they happened._

_I never thought my life could get worse than it already was._

_I was wrong. When I was dropped off at the Lee’s house with three other children already living in it, I was confused. There was a thirteen year old girl, a ten year old girl, and an eight year old boy. Why they would send a fourth child here I don’t know. The house wasn’t very large, and all the children slept in the attic. If I said that all four of us were being abused it would probably be the most extreme understatement known to man_

John continued to read, unable to take this eyes away from the horrors that his boyfriend had endured. 

_Mr. Lee didn’t let us eat today. Not that that’s a change. The difference this time was that I managed to steal some food from the kitchen. I grabbed a few apples from the fridge while Mr. and Mrs. Lee were up in their room. It was the first we’d eaten in two days, the first fresh food we’d eaten...probably since we all got here._

John nearly threw a little party when he read the next entry. 

_The Lees kicked me out today. For the past two weeks I’ve been stealing food for the kids and I. Mr. Lee finally found out, and, after beating the shit out of me, he called CPC and told them to come pick me up at a nearby hospital because I “picked a fight at school”. Basically he beat the shit out of me before I left. The worst part of the whole thing was that he did it in front of the kids. I think I was supposed to be example. I regret not doing more for them_

There was one more entry before Alex was moved to the next house. 

_Seabury came to pick me up from the hospital. He didn’t believe me when I told him the Lees were abusing the children_

Now John wanted to find this Seabury guy and try to knock some sense into him. He sighed and closed the first journal. He grabbed the second one from his bag. 

_I’ve been at this house for a week. The Eakers house. Mr. Eaker, George, I’m supposed to call him, is nice enough. His wife his kind too. There is another girl here. She’s a year younger than me and she’s been here for a month. She seems happy enough. When I was with the Lees, I knew right away that something was up. It doesn’t seem like anything is wrong here. Maybe my life will get better_

John read through the journal. About a month at the Eakers was a good one for him. Nothing bad happened, he even talked about making some tentative friends. Then it all began to go to shit. 

_It’s been three weeks since I’ve last written. There’s a reason for that. Things have gotten worse. It’s worse than the Lees. The girl, Jennifer is her name, she left three weeks ago. Apparently she called CPC and asks to be taken out of this house. I didn’t understand why. I do now._  
It wasn’t bad the first week. George became colder. He started ignoring me more and giving me more chores. Which I really didn’t mind doing. He wasn’t hitting me, he was giving me food so it was good. Then Mrs. Eaker, Sarah, went away on a business trip.  
That night, George asked me to follow him upstairs. Which was weird, because my bedroom is downstairs, and I hardly ever go upstairs. Only time I’ve ever been up there was to do chores. And then that night.  
He...he locked me in his room. I didn’t know what to do. He...he raped me that night

John blinked away tears with one hand balled into a fist. He was ready to drive back to New York to find this guy and personally kick his ass. He continued reading. 

_He did it to me the next night, and the next. He became much stricter. Wouldn’t let me go to my room as often, policed my eating, saying he “didn’t want me to ruin my pretty body”. He hardly let me out of sights. Then, when he was done working for the night, we’d go up to his room. And he’d spend a majority of the night raping me_

John was full on crying now. He slammed the book shut. He couldn’t read this anymore. Not now, and maybe not ever. He couldn’t imagine going through this. He couldn’t imagine how Alex felt. He picked up his phone to text Alex. 

**To Alex(4:03 pm):** Alexander Hamilton, you are by far the strongest and bravest person I have ever met  
**To Alex(4:04 pm):** I am honored and humbled to be the one who gets to kiss you and hold you and love you

 **From Alex(4:10 pm):** So you read the journals?

 **To Alex(4:10 pm):** Some of them. 

**From Alex(4:11 pm):** How far did you get?

 **To Alex(4:14 pm):** Um...I got to the part...where George Eaker…

 **From Alex(4:16 pm):** Oh.

 **To Alex(4:17 pm):** Alexander, if you think that I think any less of you, or love you any less, you are very very wrong

 **From Alex(4:18 pm):** Thanks John  <3  
**From Alex(4:19 pm):** I love you too

 **To Alex(4:19 pm):** <3

***

“Alexander! Alexander!” Laf ran into the house and went bounding up the stairs towards the boy’s room. They hoped that Alex was in his room. They didn’t know what would happen if he wasn’t. They began pounding on the boy’s door. 

“What?” Alex yelled, obviously pissed off. Laf let out a sigh of relief. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Laf said. 

“I’m fine,” Alex repled, “just leave me alone for tonight. Please,” 

“Okay,” Laf said. They went to go to their own room, but then came back and spoke again, “ _mon petit lion_ , if you think that anyone thinks any less of you because of what happened with Jefferson today, you’re wrong. 

Then Laf went into their room. 

***

“So, Jack,” Henry called to John as he walked through the front door. He was home early, which was strange, “did the Washingtons’ new runt start school yet?”

“Um. Yeah,” John said. 

“And are you friends with him?” Henry said, “building a healthy friendship?”

“Yes, dad,” John said, “you’ll be able to use him to your advantage soon enough,”

Henry didn’t say anything to this comment. 

“I’m gonna go get ready for my date,” John said and walked towards the stairs. He knew his father wouldn’t interrupt him from going to do something that would further his political career. 

***

“George, Martha,” Laf knocked on the door of George’s office, “can I talk to you guys for a second?” 

“Of course, Gilbert. Sit down,” George said, gesturing to the couch. Laf nodded and sat down. Martha came out of the library and leaned against George’s desk. 

“What’s up, sweetie?” Martha asked. 

“Um. I...um...I heard you guys talking the other night,” Laf said. 

“What?” George asked, suddenly very concerned, “what did you hear?” 

“I...I heard you talking about digging into Alex’s past,” Laf paused.

“Well, we are,” Martha said, “we’re working on it. Do you know anything that could help us?”

“I don’t. But you may want to ask Thomas Jefferson, he might know something,” Laf said, venom in his voice. 

“Wait. Jefferson? Henry Laurens’ intern?” George asked. Laf nodded. 

“Alex absolutely, how you say? Roasted him this morning. He was not happy about that,” Laf said, “that’s why he won’t come out of his room,”

“That’s a shame,” Martha sighed, “I remember Thomas being a really nice kid,”

“Is that all you heard?” George asked, a hint of concern in his voice. 

“I know you’re running for president,” Laf said. George sighed and leaned back in his seat. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Laf asked. 

“I wanted to give you kids this big speech,” George said, “let you guys know that you guys just aren’t political tools. It was more for Alex then you,” 

Laf sighed. 

“You haven’t told him, have you?” George asked. Laf shook their head. 

“I thought I’d tell you first,” Laf said. 

“Okay. Will you promise me you won’t tell Alex?” George asked. Laf thought back to what Herc had told him on Friday. Alex did deserve to know, but if George had a big speech planned, it was probably for the best. Laf sighed. 

“I promise I won’t tell Alex,”

***

John and Laf sat in art the next day. The class was a little louder today, so they could easily have a quiet conversation.

“Wait. George is running for president?” John asked. Laf shushed him. 

“No one can know. Especially not Alex,” Laf said, “George has a whole speech planned,”

“Okay. I won’t,” John reluctantly agreed. He didn’t want to have to keep something from Alex, but if George had a plan, John trusted him. 

“Him and Martha are also digging into Alex’s past,” Laf said, “they want to find justice, and save any other kids in those houses,”

John didn’t hear anything else Laf said. He didn’t know what to do. He still had Alex’s journals. He knew _everything_ about Alex’s past. He had names, he had experiences, he had everything the Washingtons would need to get those two men arrested. The question was, did he give them to the Washingtons? Alex trusted him with his secrets, but giving them up would be for the greater good. 

By the end of the class, he had decided what he was going to do. Although he wasn’t the biggest fan of his own decision, he knew it was the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The seeds have been planted.
> 
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)
> 
> French translations:  
> Mes amies!: My friends!  
> Oh non. Non mes amis, mes amants. Non...Je ne sais pas...mais oh! Vous deux êtes trop mignon: My friends! Oh, no. Not my friends, my lovers. No...I don't know...but oh! You two are too cute  
> Pourriez-vous nous donner deux minutes d'avertissement?: Could you give us two minutes warning?  
> Quelle? Pourquoi?: What? Why?  
> Oh! Merde!: Oh! Fuck!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John fucks up

**Chapter 8**

“Hey I can’t drive you home today,” John said as him and Alex walked to lunch. 

“Why not?” Alex asked. Normally he wouldn’t question, but John and Angelica had been spending more and more time together and Alex was getting more and more jealous. 

“I got detention,” John lied. 

“Oh,” Alex smirked, “what did my bad boy do?”

“Oh you know, he just ran in the hall,” John replied. 

“I guess I should be scared,” Alex smiled. 

“Terrified,” John began laughing. The two entered the cafeteria and went to go get their lunch. 

***

John look a deep breath as he stood outside the Capitol Building. He had been questioning his decision all day. Whether or not it was the right one, what Alex would do if he found out. He sighed. John knew this was the right decision, and he knew he had to take the risk that Alex would be mad at him. Other people’s lives were at stake. He walked in, showing off his guest pass that all the congressmen’s kids were given. It allowed him to get to his father’s office without getting in trouble, but today, he wasn’t going to his father’s office. 

The scariest thing about being here is that his father might see him. He already had a plan if he did see his father. He would tell him that he had come to borrow his credit card so he could take Angelica around the city shopping. He already had Angelica alerted so if she had to come into the city and blow some money on his father’s credit card they could. 

He made it to his destination without seeing his father. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. An intern opened the door. 

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked. 

“Um. No. I’m here to see Mr. Washington, tell him John Laurens is here to see him,” John said. She gave him a look, obviously recognizing his last name. He ushered him into a waiting room while she went into George’s office. A moment later she came back and ushered him in. 

“John. I’ve got about twenty minutes before I have to go meet with your father,” George said, “what can I help you with?”

“Um. Well, Laf told me today that you were looking into Alex’s past,” John said, “and I may be able to help you with that,”

“Has he told you anything?” George asked. 

“No,” John paused. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Could he really betray Alex’s trust like this? Was this whole thing worth it? Could he hurt Alex like that?

“John?” George asked. John sighed. He needed to do this. 

“He actually showed me,” John reached into his backpack and pulled out Alex’s journals. 

“He, um, he gave me these,” John said, “because of what happened with Jefferson yesterday, he said he wanted me to hear the story from him,”

“What exactly is in these?” George asked, grabbing one and quickly flipping through the pages. 

“Everything,” John said, “every terrible thing that has happened to him,”

“There’s three journals full of this stuff?” George asked, shocked. 

“As far as I’m aware,” John said, “I could only read about halfway through the second one. I just...I couldn’t take it,”

“And he told you to give these to me?” George gave a him a look as if he already knew the answer.

“Um...he didn’t,” John said, “but there’s stuff in there. Other children were put through the same thing, and are being put through the same thing. I think really think Alex needs closure in his past, and I think there’s enough evidence in those journals to open a case against both those men,”

“I would hope you’re right in the aspect,” George said. 

“Please don’t let him know I gave these to you,” John said, “he trusted me with his story. I know he wasn’t prepared to tell people, and I don’t want to break his trust,”

“I’ll try my best,” George smiled.

“Right. Thank you,” John stood, “I guess I’ll see you back at your house,”

George chuckled, “I guess I will,”

The second John left the office, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had done it. There was no coming back from this now. He had already done it. 

He got back in his car and drove towards the Washingtons. By the time he made it to their neighborhood, he had been gone long enough to make the detention story believable. He walked into the Washingtons house to see Martha sitting on the couch, still in her scrubs, half awake. 

“Hey John,” she smiled. 

“Twelve hour shift?” John asked. 

“Fourteen,” she sighed, “one of my co-workers got sick so I had to take a bit of her shift. I was only supposed to work ten hours today,”

“Yikes,” he said, “is Alex here?”

Martha laughed, “yeah he’s in his room,”

“Awesome thanks,” John smiled and went to Alex’s room. He knocked on the door and in a moment it was opened and he was staring at his boyfriend. 

If he knew that a wave of guilt would hit when he saw Alex smiling at him, he would’ve stayed home. He nearly collapsed right there. He stayed frozen where he stood as Alex’s face turned from ‘excited to see my boyfriend’ to ‘why is he just staring at me?’. 

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. 

John snapped out of his thoughts and smiled, “yes. I’m fine,”

“Good,” Alex grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him. John was surprised by this. Alex hardly ever kissed him. He was usually the one to kiss Alex. Maybe he was getting more confident in their relationship, maybe he was starting to trust John even more. That made the guilt even worse. 

“Do come in,” Alex said after pulling away. John only nodded and followed him. 

“So you finished the journals?” Alex asked. John’s heart froze as he quickly thought of an answer.

“I’m about halfway done,” John said, “I had to stop reading,”

“Oh,” Alex said, staring at the ground. 

“Hey, it’s fine,” John said, walking over to Alex, “don’t feel ashamed of _any_ of that, you understand me?”

Alex nodded and hugged John, “do you want to read something happier?”

“Sure. What is it?” John asked. 

“My most recent journal,” Alex said, pulling it out of his desk drawer, “it started just before I came to the Washingtons,”

“Of course,” he said, going to take it, but Alex pulled it away. John’s heart stopped, somehow he thought this was all a cruel joke and Alex had discovered what John had done. 

“I’m going to read it to you,” Alex said, sitting in one of the bean bag chairs. John sat in the one next to him, “hmmmm. Where shall we start?”

“Hmmm how about when you met me?” John suggested. 

“That’s a good place,” Alex flipped through until he found the page. Then he began, “So I’m sitting in a hospital bed right now. This one wasn’t the Washingtons fault. This was my fault. I did something stupid that I’ll write about in a bit, but holy fuck we need to talk about the people I met today. First, there was Laf’s boyfriend, Hercules Mulligan. Big guy, looks terrifying, likes to joke, and is absolutely in love with Laf. I want that someday, and maybe I could get it with the other person I met. John Laurens, probably the most attractive person I have ever met. He held my hand most of the day and let me borrow his hoodie. I think I am in love,”

“Awwwww,” John teased. Alex blushed as John kissed his cheek. 

“Let’s see, where shall we go next?” Alex asked. 

“Maybe our first date?” John asked. Alex nodded and flipped until he found it.

“I did something stupid. John took me out tonight. We went to some fancy caribbean place. He didn’t even know, it was just a crazy coincidence. I ended up telling him where I was from. The food was amazing. Almost tasted like mom’s food. Anyway, after dinner we went for a walk, and compared the Washington monument to the president’s dick, and then he kissed me. And let me tell you, if all kisses are like that one, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stop kissing him. What was the stupid thing that I did? When he told me he loved me, I didn’t say the same back,”

“Skipping ahead to the next day,” Alex said and flipped the page. Then he began reading, “I told John I loved him today. He told me I was cute after I just woke up. Then he kissed me I told him I loved him. Goddammit you have no idea how much I love kissing John Laurens,”

John chuckled, “want to kiss me some more?” 

“Please,” Alex said. John smiled and kissed him. Alex dropped the journal and kissed him back. Both of their necks were craning to get to each other, so Alex crawled onto John’s lap and straddled him. Alex had both his hands on John’s head while John had one hand in between Alex’s shoulder blades and the other on the small of his back. They kissed for probably the longest amount of time to date, and John would be lying if he said that he wasn’t getting aroused. Alex abruptly pulled back. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Alex asked. 

“Sure,” John said, “I’ll just tell my dad I’m with Angelica, and tell Angelica to leave the house to ‘meet me somewhere’”

“Great! I’m just gonna go check with George and Martha” Alex smiled and kissed John again before leaving the room. John sat back and sighed. He was in love. The guilt was almost gone. He barely remembered what he had done. He picked up his phone to text the people he needed to text. 

***

Alex figured that George and Martha were in their offices, considering he didn’t hear any conversation downstairs, and he had heard footsteps going down the hall twenty minutes earlier. He grabbed the handle of George’s office and knocked as he opened the door. He wished he hadn’t.

George and Martha were in there alright. George was sitting at his desk and Martha was sitting on his couch. Each had a journal in their hands. Each had one of _Alex’s_ journals in their hands. 

“Alex…” George said, but Alex barely heard him. 

“Where the hell did you get those?” Alex asked, trying to keep his cool. He didn’t need to ask. He knew where the Washingtons got them. As he realized exactly how they got them, tears began filling his eyes. 

“Give me those!” Alex yelled, stomping into the office and grabbing the journals from George and Martha’s hands, “where is the other one?”

Neither of them said anything. 

“WHERE’S THE OTHER ONE!?” Alex screamed, unable to keep his emotions in check now, “I KNOW HE GAVE YOU THE OTHER ONE! WHERE IS IT?!”

George sighed and pulled the third one out of his briefcase. He handed it to Alex who snatched it out of his hands. 

“Alex, listen, John…” George began, but Alex cut him off. 

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT JOHN!” Alex yelled, tears streaming down his face. 

“Alex, sweetie,” Martha stood and began walking towards him. 

“Stay the fuck away from me,” Alex said with venom in his voice even he hadn’t heard before, “both of you stay the fuck away from me,”

He ran stomped out of the office. 

***

Just before John sent a text to his father, he heard yelling down the hall. He grabbed Alex’s journal, he didn’t know why he grabbed it. Maybe it was some security, he honestly didn’t know. He stood and went to the doorway. He stood in the doorway and tried to listen. 

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT JOHN!” Alex yelled. John’s blood ran cold. Alex knew. He walked in and saw the Washingtons with the journals. _Alex knew_.

He saw Alex stomp out of George’s office with his journals in his hands and tears in his eyes. Alex stopped in front of John and met his eye. 

“Alex…” John began. 

“Give me that,” Alex said, grabbing the journal from John’s hands, “and get the fuck out of my house,”

“Alex. Please, let me just…” John tried again, tears beginning to form in his own eyes.

“No. John. You don’t get to say anything to me,” Alex pushed past him and went into his room, “I trusted you, John. I _trusted you_ ,”

“I know just…” John tried to explain himself.

“Stay the fuck away from me, John,” Alex said, “I don’t want to talk to you,”

He slammed the door in John’s face. 

The tears began to fall from his eyes. John knew now that he had made the wrong decision. 

“John,” 

John turned and saw George standing in the doorway of his office. John just ran. It was George’s fault that he gotten caught. He only ran out of the house. He got into his car and opened his phone. For some unknown reason, he called Angelica. 

“Angelica we need to go on a fake date,” John sobbed.

“Woah John what’s wrong?” Angelica asked, concerned. 

“I fucked up Angelica, I fucked up!” John yelled, sobbing. 

“Was it something to do with me?” Angelica asked. 

“No. This one was completely on me,” John replied, “can I picked you up in fifteen minutes?”

“I’ll be ready,” she said and hung up the phone. 

***

Alex dropped his journals unceremoniously on his desk. He let the sobs come raking through his body. John had betrayed him. Not only had John told the Washingtons what had happened to him, but he gave them his private journals. _His_ journals, that were _his_. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been, trusting John. He should’ve known better, no one in this world was really there for you. In the end, everyone was there to hurt you. 

He ignored everyone who came and knocked at his door. George, Martha, Laf, even Herc had shown up. He then decided he needed to talk to _someone_. He just opened his contacts and let his fingers move across the screen until he clicked a name. Eliza’s name. 

“Alex, what’s going on?” Eliza asked, “John was over here twenty minutes ago sobbing into Angelica’s arms,”

Alex only screamed upon hearing that information. The first person John went to comfort was Angelica, that only made this whole situation worse. 

“I gave him my journals,” Alex said, sniffling, “it was everything that’s ever happened to me. The hell I’ve been through. Then...then he gave him to the Washingtons. Eliza, I _trusted him_ ,”

“Shhh, Alex, it’ll be okay,” she said, “do you want me to come over?”

“No,” Alex said, “I need to be alone tonight,”

“Okay, let me know if you need me. I’ll come whenever,” she said.

“Thank you,” Alex said, and hung up. He turned his phone off and tossed it into his desk drawer, not wanting to talk to anyone else tonight.

He almost laughed when it started raining. Of course the weather would coincide with his emotions. Then he got up and opened his window. He grabbed John’s bean bag chair and threw it out the window. He grabbed the hundred dollar pen John insisted he needed and threw it out the window. He grabbed the suit he had worn on their first date and threw it out the window. Finally, he took off the hoodie he was wearing, John’s hoodie, and chucked it out the window. He then slammed the window shut and crumped into a ball to cry into the early hours of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the seeds have grown  
> Sorry
> 
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Eliza grow closer. Alex discovers a secret

**Chapter 9**

Alex woke up the next morning to a knock on his door. For a moment, he didn’t understand why he was wearing jeans and curled into a little ball in the corner of the room. Then the memories from the previous day came flooding back in. He groaned, fresh tears filling his eyes. 

“ _Mon ami_ ,” Alex sighed in relief when he realized it was Laf outside his door, “I understand if you don’t want to come to school today, but if you do, you should probably start getting ready,”

“I’ll be down in a minute,” Alex said, wiping his tears. School was a good idea. He needed a distraction. Yes, John would be at school and in most of his classes, but there were ways Alex could avoid him. He got up and undressed himself then got in the shower. He didn’t shower yesterday, so he thought it was probably a good idea to shower now. 

He stepped out ten minutes later, and got dressed. Alex picked up his backpack, making sure the journals were inside before grabbing his phone. He decided he should probably turn his phone back on, just in case. The second his phone had reconnected to the signal, it began vibrating like crazy. He opened the texts, most of them from John. All apology texts, saying how stupid he was. Then there were texts from Angelica, explaining why John did what he did. He ignored all of them. There was only one text he actually replied to. 

**From Eliza(5:53 am):** You doing okay?

**To Eliza(6:42 am):** I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. 

**From Eliza(6:51 am):** That’s great! Are you coming to school today? Maybe we can talk a little more, if you need to

 **To Eliza(6:53 am):** Yeah, I’m coming to school. I’d actually love to chat

 **From Eliza(6:54 am)** Awesome! Want me to pick you up? We can ditch first period and go out to breakfast

 **To Eliza(6:55 am)** Eliza Schuyler, ditching class? I’d never thought I’d see that day

 **From Eliza(6:55 am)** You’d be surprised once you get to know me a little more ;)  
**From Eliza(6:56 am):** I’ll be there in ten 

**To Eliza(6:57 am):** Great

Alex smiled. At least he had a friend in Eliza. He didn’t know why he trusted her so much, he just did. He decided to wait in his room until Eliza got there so he wouldn’t have to talk to Laf or the Washingtons. He thought that was best. They knew his whole story now, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t deeply ashamed. He feared opening his past up to the Washingtons was an excuse for them to send him away. Who would want a weak kid like him living with them? Especially given how powerful George was. 

Alex sat deep in thought until he got another text. 

**From John <3 <3(7:05 am):** You coming to school today?

Alex scoffed. He didn’t know if he wanted John to ignore that this whole thing ever happened or insist on apologizing non-stop for it. He got another text 

**From Eliza(7:08 am):** I’m right outside the gate

 **To Eliza(7:09 am):** Sweet I’ll meet you out there. 

He grabbed his backpack and left his bedroom. He walked down the stairs, trying to sneak past the kitchen, but he wasn’t very successful.

“Alex, where are you going?” Laf asked, coming to stand in the doorway of the kitchen. Alex saw George standing right behind them. 

“I’m going with Eliza,” Alex said. Then he was out the door without another word. 

***

John sighed as he stared at his phone. Alex had not responded to a single one of his messages, or any of Angelica’s. He had to admit that he could see Alex’s point. He knew the decision that he made was the wrong one in Alex’s eyes. He had broken Alex’s trust, which, given what was in Alex’s journals, was very important to him. It was hard to gain Alex’s trust. John had gained his trust, which was a gift, and while holding something so fragile in his hands, decided to destroy it. 

He put his phone in his pocket as he grabbed an apple from the fridge and made his way out of the house. John got into his car and made his way to school. 

The first thing he noticed when he got there was Laf and Angelica huddling in a corner, whispering to each other. It was strange to see them talk. They were all friends, but Angelica really only ever voiced her opinion when she disagreed with someone, and she always seemed to agree with what Laf said. When they noticed John walking over to them, they both promptly stopped talking. 

“What’s the big secret?” John asked. Laf only glared at him, so Angelica was the one to speak. 

“Um...Alex and Eliza ran off this morning,” Angelica said, “we have no idea where they went or what they’re doing,”

John could only nod. He felt the flame of jealousy flare inside him. He clenched his jaw, “right then,”

The bell rang. Laf and Angelica both hurried away to their respective classes. John took out his phone to send one more text. 

**To Alex(7:41 am):** You okay? I heard you ran off this morning. 

He waited a moment for a response. Not that he really expected one. He just hoped, that maybe if he expressed genuine concern in Alex’s safety and well being he might be able to get the boy to talk to him. He didn’t get a response, so he just shoved his phone in his pocket and stomped off to class. 

***

“We’ll have two orders of waffles with ice cream, both with vanilla, and a plate of cinnamon rolls,” Eliza said. The waitress smiled and took their orders before walking out. 

“Waffles and ice cream?” Alex asked, slightly confused. 

“It’s to die for,” she replied, “so are their cinnamon rolls. Delicious,”

Alex couldn’t help but think back to his first breakfast at the Washingtons. His first waffle and the cinnamon rolls he didn’t eat. He smiled at the memory before Eliza spoke again. 

“So do you want to talk about it or…” Eliza trailed off, giving him an out if he had changed his mind about sharing. 

“I’m fine with talking about it,” Alex said, “this whole situation, now that I’ve thought about it, I can see John’s point of view. I can see why he did what he did,”

“That’s good. That’s the easiest way to begin to forgive someone,” she interrupted. Alex nodded. 

“The only thing about it is, like, I trusted him, Eliza,” Alex said, stressing his words, “given what I-” he paused, trying to find the right words to describe his situation, “it’s really hard for me to trust people. Terrible things happened to me with the last few people I trusted. The things they did were horrible, but it was the fact that I trusted them that made the whole thing a hundred times worse.

“Going into this new house, I told myself I wasn’t going to trust anyone because trusting people doesn’t get you anything but pain. Unfortunately, my heart clouded my judgement, and I began to trust John. I even began to trust the Washingtons! And then...then I gave John a piece of my soul. I told him my whole story, and...and, he told the Washingtons! He might as well just have shouted it at the top of the Lincoln memorial,”

“I understand why you feel that way,” Eliza placed her hand on top of his. It surprised him when he didn’t flinch under her touch.

“Thanks,” Alex said softly, “I just...I don’t know what to do. Like, I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me enough to _not _break my trust. And, if after breaking my trust, he wants my trust and love back...I don’t know if I can to give it to him,”__

__“That’s understandable,” Eliza responded, rubbing small circles over his hand with her thumb, “since the incident is still fresh in your mind, I think you should give it a few days before you talk to him. See how much you miss him, and if you’re willing to put your trust in someone else’s hands again. If you really miss him and you’re willing to give him your trust again, I think you should give him another chance. If not, at least get back on friendly terms with him, then parties will be less awkward,”_ _

__Alex laughed a little, “that’s a good idea,”_ _

__“Thanks,” she smiled, “I have them from time to time,”_ _

__They both laughed as their food arrived. Alex nearly melted when he ate the waffle with ice cream._ _

__“This is freaking amazing!” he smiled. He was going to make an effort to finish this meal._ _

__***_ _

__School wasn’t as bad as Alex pictured it was going to be. Eliza always stayed close, so things weren’t too bad. Her sisters gave him space, and Laf and Herc only gave him apologetic looks in the hall, understanding that he didn’t want to talk. It was when he met John in the hall for the first time, that he practically ran._ _

__Thankfully, he had political debate second period, which was the only class he didn’t have with John. This time, he had an excuse to get away from him. He had his next class with Herc and John, but he would just politely ask Herc to switch seats with him for the day. Then at lunch, him and Eliza were going to go hide in one of the tiny music rooms in the basement and finish their cinnamon rolls._ _

__Alex was happy when they were assigned a topic that they were to debate on Friday. They had the rest of the week to research and prepare arguments for. He took his time getting out of class, and thankfully Eliza was waiting outside for him. She was whispering with Angelica, but the second she saw Alex come out of the classroom she left her sister and took his hand, and the two made their way down the hall before anyone could say anything to them._ _

__***_ _

__Alex and Eliza really enjoyed their lunch. Alex really enjoyed spending time with Eliza and getting to know her better. The more he found out about her, the more he liked her. He felt something strange inside him whenever he met her eye, and he couldn’t seem to ignore the blush that filled her cheeks when their eyes met or their hands brushed._ _

__Alex’s next class was further away than Eliza’s, so when the warning bell rang he was up and out the door before she could say goodbye. Eliza took her time cleaning up, for her class was closer and her teacher liked her, specifically because she was never late. She was walking up the stairs when she ran into John._ _

__“What the hell is going on with you and Alexander?” he asked, a cold look in his eyes._ _

__“Hi to you too, John,” she continued up the stairs. John followed her._ _

__“I’m serious, Eliza,” he said._ _

__“He’s in a lot of pain right now,” Eliza said, “I’m just comforting him. Something _you_ can’t seem to do,”_ _

__John sighed, “I know, and I feel terrible. I can’t even tell him how terrible I feel because he refuses to speak to me,”_ _

__“You just need to give him time,” Eliza said, “you broke his trust, and that’s the most valuable thing to him. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready, but know he might not be ready to do that immediately,”_ _

__“Okay,” John paused, “do you think...do you think I’ll have another chance with him? Romantically, I mean,”_ _

__“I honestly don’t know,” Eliza said, “I just offer advice, I can’t tell you what decision he’ll make,”_ _

__“Okay,” John began to walk away._ _

__“And John!” Eliza called. John stopped and turned him around, “give him some space, maybe don’t text him as much. Give him time to think,”_ _

__John nodded and made his way down the hall. He couldn’t help the tear that escaped his eye._ _

__***_ _

__Alex had to psych himself up before opening the front door. He probably stood there for a good five minutes before he got the courage to turn the knob. Of course both George and Martha were in the living room waiting for him when he walked in. He immediately went to go back out the door and call Eliza that he might need to spend the night at her place._ _

__“Alex, can we please talk to you?” George asked. Alex sighed. He knew there was no getting out of it. He was going to have to talk to them eventually, so he might as well get it over with._ _

__“Fine,” Alex walked into the living room and sat on the couch, not meeting either of their eyes._ _

__“Listen, Alexander,” George said, “what John did…”_ _

__“I don’t want to talk about John,” Alex said quickly, “so if this whole conversation is going to be about John, can I please go upstairs?”_ _

__“It isn’t about John,” Martha replied, “it’s about you and us,” she paused, “we just want you to know, that we don’t think any less of you because of what happened to you. You’re still the same Alexander we chose to foster. You’re not any different to us. You’re still the same brilliant kid we have the privilege to raise,”_ _

__“Oh,” Alex said softly, he tried not to blush, “that’s nice, I guess. Thanks,”_ _

__“You’re welcome,” Martha smiled sweetly._ _

__“And Alex,” George leaned forward slightly, “if you’d be willing to share the information, we would like to open a formal investigations against both Charles Lee and George Eaker. Especially considering there are still children in both of their houses,”_ _

__“Oh...um…” Alex thought for a moment. No one deserved to go through what he went through, “I mean...it probably is a good idea. I mean...those people kinda suck…”_ _

__“I think that’s a bit of an understatement,” Martha said with a soft smile._ _

__“Okay. I’ll do it,” Alex said, “I’ll give you any information you need to launch this investigation,”_ _

__“That’s great,” George smiled._ _

__“Why don’t you go get some homework down sweetie? Dinner will be ready in about an hour,” Martha said. Alex nodded and went up to his room ._ _

__***_ _

__Dinner was actually a very enjoyable experience. Laf ended up bringing Herc, which Alex was nervous about at first, but it turned out to be for the better. Nobody spoke about what had happened yesterday. It almost felt as if things were going back to normal. After they all finished eating, he excused himself to go get started on his political debate homework._ _

__He opened his laptop and went to one of the recommended websites to do research on. His blood ran cold when he saw the first headline._ _

__**_BREAKING NEWS!_ Rumors of Senator George Washington of Virginia Running for President Confirmed by Member of his Publicity Team**_ _

__George was running for president. Alex knew this whole situation was too good to be true. He knew the Washingtons didn’t really want him. The second he was elected or not, he would be out the door. They didn’t allowed fostered, orphaned, immigrants into the White House, and he would be useless to them if George wasn’t elected. He wiped the tears from his eyes and picked up his laptop. He kicked his door opened and tried to keep himself from sobbing as he stomped down the stairs. Everyone was still sitting in the dining room when he entered._ _

__“Alex…” George began, but Alex ignored him. He dropped his opened laptop in front of George._ _

__“Care to explain this?” Alex asked, crossing his arms, “am I really just a pawn to you?”_ _

__“Alex, please…” George began._ _

__“Answer the goddamn question!” Alex yelled, “am I just a pawn in your political game?! Am I only here to further your political career?!”_ _

__“Alex, _mon ami_ , please, let George explain,” Laf tried to reason with him. _ _

__“Shut up, Laf!” Alex said bitterly. He turned back to George, “what’s the next headline going to be? George Washington takes in poor, helpless, abused orphan? George Washington is just so fucking awesome, look what he did for that scrawny kid for the Caribbean! Is that all I am to you?!”_ _

__George sighed, “that isn’t entirely false…”_ _

__Alex sighed, his lip quivering, “of course. Only here to use me. You wouldn’t be the first,” Alex went to grab his laptop, “and to think, I was actually starting to trust you,” he started to laugh, “just goes to show you, you can’t trust anyone as far as you can throw them. And let me tell you something, George. See my scrawny arms? I can’t even pick you up,”_ _

__He turned on his heels and left the kitchen. When he returned to his room, he put a change of clothes and his laptop into his bag. He left his door unlocked before climbing out his window and running down the driveway._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex spends the night at the Schuylers. John comes out to his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s almost over :(

**Chapter 10**

“Eliza,” Alex let out a choked sob with the phone up to his ear, “I...I need you to come pick me up,”

“What’s wrong?” Eliza asked.

“I...George is running for president!” Alex cried. He took a moment to collect himself, “can I please stay the night,”

“Of course,” she replied, “I’ll have Peggy make some hot coco and I’ll come pick you up,”

“Thank you,” Alex sniffled, “I’m just kinda wandering down Main Street,”

“See you in a few,” she said sweetly then hung up the phone. 

Alex sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. There was no doubt that the Washingtons would go looking for him the second they realized he was gone; they didn’t deserve to know where he’d run off to. The first time he’d run off, it was his brain’s fault, and he was glad they had looked for him. He didn’t want to go anywhere near them now. He would wear the same two pairs of clothes for weeks if he had to. 

He heard a light car horn behind him. He looked up and saw Eliza sitting in her car. She had a soft smile on her face, and he couldn’t help but smile back. Her smile was infectious. Alex walked around her car and got in the passenger seat. 

The ride back to the Schuyler’s was mostly silent. Alex let his hand rest on the center console, and Eliza had put her hand over his once again. Even though he really didn’t know his status with John, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Her touch was calming, and he needed to be calm right now. 

When they arrived at the Schuyler’s, Alex’s jaw dropped. He forgot that their father was the governor, so he didn’t remember how big their house was. Eliza giggled and Alex smiled at that. Her laugh was cute. 

“Come on. We can get started on the hot coco,” she smiled and got out of the car. Alex followed, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

“My parents and Angelica are out at some political function,” Eliza said as the two walked into the house. 

“Why does Angelica go and not you guys?” Alex asked. 

“Angelica wants to do that with her life,” Eliza replied, “she wants to be a politician. Peggy and I don’t really want to do that, so my parents don’t force us to go,”

“That’s nice of them,” Alex said. He marveled at the interior of the house, although he didn’t have much time to look because Eliza was leading him through rather quickly. 

“Peggy! Where are you?” Eliza called. 

“Office!” she replied, “your hot chocolates are on the counter! I have homework to do!”

“Thanks!” Alex called to her. 

“Welcome!” she replied. Eliza led him through the twists and turns of the house before they ended up in the kitchen where there were two steaming mugs resting on the counter. 

“Grab a mug,” Eliza said, “we’ll drop your bag at the bottom of the stairs and then go sit in the living room. I think there’s a fire going,”

“Okay,” Alex did as he was instructed. Once they arrived in the living room they both sat in front of the couch to be closer to the fire. Alex took a sip from his mug. 

“Eliza,” Alex said, “as much as I enjoy and appreciate the coco, I think I need something hard tonight,”

“Oh thank god,” Eliza smiled, “I didn’t want to be the one to offer it,”

Alex laughed. He didn’t peg Eliza as one who would drink. She left the room and came back with a bottle of hundred and one proof whiskey in her hand. 

“This hard enough?” she asked, holding up the bottle. 

“Uh...yeah,” Alex said, taking it from her cautiously. He popped the top off and raised the bottle to his lips, letting a little fall into his mouth. The second it made contact with his throat he began coughing. 

“Never drank before?” she asked. He shook his head. 

“It gets easier,” she said, taking the bottle and taking a large sip. 

“How…” Alex trailed off. Eliza laughed, handing him back the bottle. 

“Tell me about your troubles,” she said, looking him in the eye.

“George is running for president,” Alex said, staring at the floor, “and he admitted that the reason he agreed to foster me was to further his political career,”

“No!” Eliza said, truly shocked, “George Washington, is using you?!”

Alex nodded, tears slipping from his eyes. He picked up the bottle and took a large sip, ignoring the burn. Eliza scooted closer and pulled him into a hug which he gratefully accepted. He sobbed while leaning over her shoulder. 

“After a while, I thought...I thought the Washingtons were different. I thought that for once, I was living somewhere where I wasn’t a burden and I wasn’t being used,”

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Eliza rubbed his back, “people really suck sometimes. That’s why I’m not going into politics,”

Alex chuckled, “I know they suck,” he paused, choosing his next words carefully, “like, first John, now this. Sometimes I wonder what is in it for me,”

“Wonder what is in what for you?” Eliza asked, pulling away and looking at him again. 

“Life,” he replied, “like, why am I even living? I’m sure as hell not living for myself,”

Eliza paused, unsure of what to say. Alex sighed and picked up the bottle again. 

***

“What do you mean, ‘that accusation isn’t entirely false’?” Laf asked, eyeing George, “you told me that you didn’t foster Alex for your campaign,”

“That wasn’t the full reason,” George said.

“So you lied to me?” Laf asked. George sighed and nodded. 

“Don’t worry Gilbert, he lied to me too,” Martha said, not taking her eyes off her husband, “you better explain this. Now,”

“Uh, Laf baby I’m gonna go,” Herc said softly while standing up, but Laf grabbed his hand and pulled him back down into his seat.

“No. Stay,” Laf smiled at Herc, then turned and frowned at George, “speak. Now,”

“When Seabury first called me, I was hesitant to take in another child, especially one as troubled as Alex,” he paused, deciding whether or not to tell the full truth. He sighed, knowing there was no way out of this. He needed to face the consequences of his actions, “then I read his story, and I thought that maybe, taking a child in with that background would give me a bump with the hispanic voters,”

“Oh my god,” Laf said, shaking his head in shock. Everyone George had ever met had him up on this invisible pedestal, thinking he could do no wrong, so no one could believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“I mean, in the long run, it was good!” George said, trying to redeem himself, “if I wasn’t running for office then I probably never would’ve agreed to foster him. My campaign is the reason he’s here!”

“And you were going to kick him out the second you were finished with him?” Laf asked. 

“No! I was in this for the long run. My campaign only influenced the reason he was here,” George reiterated.

“So you were going to drag poor Alex all over the country to stand behind you while you make speeches?!” Laf asked, still angry. 

“Only if he wanted to,” George replied. Laf shook his head, still in shock of the whole situation. They stood, and taking Herc’s hand, they left the room. 

“I can not believe him,” Laf said as the pair made their way to the stairs. 

“That is very shocking,” Herc replied, “I never thought George would do something like that,”

“I know,” they stomped the ground, “I’m half compelled to go out and tell the world,”

“Give it a little time, babe. You’re just really angry right now,” Herc said, kissing their hand. Laf smiled. 

“Okay,” they paused, “we should probably go check on Alex,”

Herc nodded as the two made their way up the stairs. Laf knocked on Alex’s door, “Alex, can we talk to you for a second? It’s just me and Herc,”

They were surprised when they found the door unlocked. They walked into the dark room, looking for Alex. Then they spotted the opened window.

***

Half the whiskey was gone, and Alex sat staring absent-mindedly into the fire. He was leaning on Eliza, who had her arm wrapped around him and was drawing random patterns on his arm with her finger. Both of them jumped when Alex’s phone rang. He picked it up and, seeing it was Laf, answered it. 

“ _Oh Alexandre, dieu merci, vous êtes d'accord_ ,” Laf said the second Alex picked up. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Alex replied. 

“Where are you?” They asked. 

“I can’t tell you that,” Alex sighed, “just know I’m safe and I’ll see you at school tomorrow,”

“But Alex…” Laf began to protect, but Alex hung up the phone. 

“They concerned?” Eliza asked. 

Alex nodded, “yeah, but that’s understandable given what happened the first time I ran away,”

“The first time?” she asked, “there was a first time?”

“Yeah. It was, like, the day after I got here,” Alex replied. 

“What happened?”

“I kinda, almost died of hypothermia,” he replied. 

Eliza gasped and placed both her hands on Alex’s arm, “oh my god! I’m glad you’re okay,” 

“Yeah…” Alex paused, “some days I am too. Others, not so much,”

Eliza sighed. She still didn’t know what to say, and Alex was okay with that. She didn’t have the answer to everything. Yet she had the answer to most things, and that’s what he needed. 

***

The next morning, John woke up and immediately checked his phone. He didn’t know what he was expecting. In his heart he was hoping for a text from Alex, but in his head he knew he wasn’t going to get it. 

At school the next day, Alex didn’t speak to him at all. Angelica had come up to him in the morning, telling him he stayed over their house last night because he found out George was running for president and was using him. John loved George like a father, but in that moment he wanted to punch the man in the face. 

He saw George Washington later in the day when he walked into the school building and went straight to the principal’s office. After asking a few people, he found out that Alex had punched Jefferson. He assumed that Jefferson had been teasing him about George using him, and Alex just wasn’t in the mood. It was in that moment that he remembered how much he loved Alexander Hamilton. And it was in that moment that he wanted to cry, knowing he couldn’t go kiss him right now. 

Other than his sulking, his day was rather uneventful. All his friends except Angelica and Herc weren’t talking to him. They were the only two who saw his point of view. They were the only ones who understood why he did what he did. So that’s why he heard the news from Angelica. He was walking out of the building towards his car when Angelica came running up to him. 

“John! John!” Angelica yelled. He stopped and looked up at her. 

“What?” he asked miserably. 

“Did you know your father is running for president?” she asked. 

“What?!” his jaw dropped. He could barely fathom what she had just said, “my father is… _what?_ ”

“Running for president,” Angelica replied, “he announced like, an hour ago. I was in study hall working on my stuff for my political debate class and that was one of the headlines,”

“No. I didn’t know he was running for president,” John said, “of course I didn’t know he was running for president. Go ask Jefferson. I bet he knows every _goddamn_ detail of my father’s campaign,”

John got into his car and drove off without another word. He was going to confront his father about not telling him or any of his other siblings. Not that he thought their father would consult them, he just thought that he would tell them, so they didn’t go off and disgrace him. Then he got a different idea for a different conversation he could have with his father. 

His hands shook as he opened his front door. Thankfully, his father wasn’t home. In fact, no one was home. Just Mary Eleanor. He went up the stairs and got his little sister from her crib. The two sat on the couch while John turned on CNN and watched them debate about his father and George Washington running for president. 

James and Junior came home first. Both said hi and gave him a hug before going to the kitchen for a snack. Martha came home a little while later, and was a little surprised to see John sitting on the couch. 

“So you heard?” she asked. 

“I did,” he replied, “did he tell you?”

“No,” she replied, “the vice principal pulled me out of class and told me that my father had just announced his campaign, and asked me if I wanted to watch the speech,”

“Angelica told me,” John sighed, “considering she’s really the only one still talking to me,”

“The decision you made was the right one,” Martha reassured him, “he’ll understand soon enough, just give him time,”

John nodded as they heard a car pull up to the house. 

“Take the kids upstairs,” John told his sister, “I have something I need to talk to dad about,”

Martha’s eyes widened, “John. You’re not going to…”

“Just go, Martha,” he said softly, “take them upstairs. Please,”

Tears began to form in Martha’s eyes as she nodded. She ushered her two younger brothers out of the kitchen and up the stairs to start their homework. Moments later, Henry Laurens walked through the door. John’s hands were shaking and he could feel his heart pumping against his rib cage. It was pumping so loudly he could hear it in his ears and feel it in his toes.

Henry didn’t acknowledge his oldest son as he took off his shoes and coat. He went straight to the kitchen and dropped his briefcase on the ground before grabbing a glass from the cabinet and pouring himself a drink. 

“Dad,” John said, walking into the kitchen. He was clenching his fists to keep them from shaking. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth again, “I’m gay,”

Henry looked up from his drink. He looked John straight in the eye. The boy was taking in deep breaths as his father sat completely still. Then Henry picked up the glass and threw it across the room at John. It hit him in the leg and broke. John screamed, his hand going immediately to his leg. He heard Henry come stomping across the room, but he didn’t register it until he felt a hand around his neck. His body was slammed against the wall and he was forced to look his father in the eye. 

“What did you say?” he asked. 

John swallowed the lump in his throat, “I’m gay” he paused, wondering if he should reveal the next detail, “and I’m dating the Washington’s new runt,”

Henry let go of his neck, and John took in a big gulp of air. Then he felt a hand connect with his face, knocking him off balance and onto the ground. He coughed, still clutching his now bleeding leg. Henry grabbed the bottle from the cabinet and began walking towards John. John put his hands up to defend himself, but Henry only walked past him. John, barely conscious, only recognized the sound of a slamming door somewhere else in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that’s that. 
> 
> Tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)
> 
> French translations:  
> dieu merci, vous êtes d'accord: thank god you are okay


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and John talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter :'(

**Chapter 11**

“John! John!” 

He heard a female voice calling his name, but it barely registered in his mind. He was feeling a whirlwind of emotions at that very moment. Pride for coming out to his father, happiness that his father hadn’t immediately kicked him out, fear that his father would kick him out, or just kick him, fear for the safety of his siblings. 

“John! John, look at me!”

He felt his head being moved until he looked into Martha’s eyes. 

“Can you hear me?” she asked. John nodded. 

“Keep...keep the boys upstairs,” John said softly, “don’t want them to see me like this,”

“I already told them to stay in their room,” she said. She looked around to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard, “you told him?”

“Yeah, I told him,” he replied, his consciousness still altered. 

“He wasn’t too happy?” she stood and went to get a wet cloth. 

John laughed, “not really,”

He started coming to. His vision was a little clearer, and he could distinguish the sound of running water somewhere else in the room. He saw Martha clearly when she knelt down next to him. 

“Do you want to sit up?” she asked. He nodded, and using her as support he scooted himself over to the wall and managed to sit up against it. 

“Let me wipe the blood off your face,” she said, going to wipe it off. 

“Wait what blood?” he asked, feeling his face. He didn’t remember his face punching him in the face, just slapping him. 

“The blood coming from your nose,” she replied, wiping it away. She stood and grabbed a roll of paper towels from the counter, “use this to stop the bleeding. I’m going to look at your leg,”

John did as instructed, ripping off a paper towel and holding it up to his nose. Between the two of them, they managed to get John’s pants down enough for her to look at his leg. 

“God, what the hell did he do,” she said, looking at his bloody, bruised leg that still had pieces of glass in it. 

“He threw a whiskey glass at me,” he said, “and it broke,”

“Okay, I need to go get some tweezers to get this glass out,” she said, standing, “stay awake while I’m gone okay?”

“Yeah,” he offered her a soft smile. She returned it, but he could see the pain and concern in her eyes. He sighed, he knew they’d be talking later. 

Then his phone vibrated. He leaned forward, reaching towards the pocket of his pants. He managed to pull them up enough for him to grab his phone from his pocket. 

**From Alex(2:59 pm):** I’m ready to talk to you, if you want to come over

If John wasn’t bleeding, he would’ve jumped up and down in victory. The pain in his body and mind completely faded away as he quickly typed a response. 

**To Alex(3:01 pm):** Okay, I just have some stuff I need to finish up at home, can I come over in like 30-45 minutes?

**From Alex(3:02 pm):** Sure

Martha was confused when she saw John leaning against the wall with a goofy smile on his face. 

“Why are you so happy all of a sudden?” she asked, bending down next to his leg with a small basket of medical supplies. 

“Alex just texted me,” he said. 

She looked up at him and smiled. “oh did he?” 

“Yes. He said he was ready to talk to me and I could come over, so clean me up fast!” he said. She laughed and began wiping the blood around his injuries. She then began to pick the pieces of glass out of his leg. 

“Alright, I think I got them all,” she said moments later. She grabbed the cloth and wiped away the rest of the blood, “I don’t see anything else, do you?”

John leaned forward and looked at his leg, “I don’t see anything,”

“Great. I’m just gonna clean you up and bandage it,” she said. She sprayed antibacterial spray onto his leg and he hissed at the burn. She fanned it as the burning went down, then took out some bandages and covered all the cuts. 

“Do you want me to get you some different pants?” she asked, he nodded. He could barely contain his excitement. He was going to talk to Alex again! They were going to make up and everything was going to be okay. He smiled at the thought of being able to kiss Alexander again, and, now that he was out to his father, he could ‘break up’ with Angelica, and date Alex everywhere. They didn’t have to be a secret anymore.

Martha returned with pants. She helped him stand up and get his pants on. Walking was easier for him then he thought. Martha smiled as she handed him his car keys. 

“Go get your man,” she patted him on the back and he walked out the door with a slightly limp. 

***

Alex sat on the Washingtons couch. He was back in their house, but he and George were not speaking. Alex had no desire to speak with him, and George could not think of the words to say to him. So now he sat in their living room waiting for John to arrive. He didn’t know how this meeting was going to go. He had no idea what he was going to tell John about their relationship. He was going to explain that they were going to try and take Lee and Eaker to trial and that he understood why John did what he did. 

There was a knock on the door. He took a deep breath before going to the door. John was standing outside. 

“Hi,” Alex said with a soft smile. 

“Hi,” John replied. Alex stepped aside and John walked into the house. They both sat in the living room in an awkward silence. Alex was the one to break the silence. 

“So I just want to start by saying, I understand why you did what you did,” Alex said. 

“And I understand why you were so upset up about it,” John replied, “and I am so so so sorry,”

“I understand,” Alex reiterated, “and I thought you should know that, if George and I ever start speaking again, we’re going to try and open formal investigations against both of them,”

“That’s good,” he replied. He could tell Alex was expected him to ask why him and George weren’t speaking, but since John already knew, he thought it best not to bring it up. 

“I missed you,” John said softly, scooting a little closer to Alex. 

“I missed you too,” Alex replied, blushing. 

“Can I…” John took a deep breath, “can I kiss you?”

John began leaning in, but Alex scooted away. 

“I...um...no,” Alex said not meeting his eye, “I just...I need some time, so, can you please go?”

John could barely register what had just happened. The room was so silent that you could hear John’s heart break. 

“Um...okay,” he tried to keep his voice from cracking. Alex watched him go, tears forming in his own eyes. He let out a sob when he heard John scream outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you want to know what’s happening with this series, click [here](http://allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com/post/149954840897/whats-going-on-with-the-pieces-seriespicking-up), and it will take you to a post that explains everything that’s going to happen, because there’s too much for me to put it all down here.  
> And if you just want to yell at me(which in understandable, I deserve it), here’s my tumblr: [allaloneacrossthesea.tumblr.com](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/allaloneacrossthesea)


End file.
